My short, but in no way complete list of people who need a punch in the face . . .
Props to George Carlin for the idea
1.Public speakers who start their speech by saying "good morning," and then when the audience responds, they say something like "oh come on . . .you can do better than that! I said GOOD MORNING!!!!" and we all, like sheep, have to follow suit for this orotund idiot.
2.People who carry tote bags
3.Guys with a graying mustache and a ponytail who carry a leather briefcase around
4.People who say "have a goody" when leaving you--or the idiots who say "have a great weekend" when its only Tuesday afternoon.
5.Persons who need to remind me of what the weather is outside, or people who need to somehow heed my affirmation of what the weather is. "Hot enough for you?" or "How about this rain?" or "its really snowing, huh?"
6.People who spend money on water that comes in fancy bottles with writing about how proceeds of this water will go to save the world, end AIDS, and ensure that the Washington Nationals win the World Series . . .all because you bought THIS water.
7.Anyone who says "we are striving to create a culture of change." Think of how stupid that really sounds.
8.The same idiots who say we live in a "changing time" or "an information age." Its all relative, idiot. If I lived 1000 years ago and took a crap in my hat, then POOF . . .I've invented the first port-a-potty. Stupid.
9.Politicians and bureaucrats who can't just give a straight answer to a simple question
10.People who get their dressing "on the side."
11.Guys and girls who need to demonstrate all the awesome ringtones their cellphone has
12.The same bozos who go to buy a new Razr every two weeks. Am I 80? Cuz I dont know even what a Razr is.
13.People who always need to tell me how many songs they have on their iPod, or what they've "just downloaded." You're very special. Now go listen by yourself
14.People who write lists of the types of people they can't stand
15.Individuals, when asked how they've been, answer with "oh my gosh . . .things have been CRAZY lately." Are things really THAT crazy? Or did you just need to food shop, cook your own dinner, AND do laundry ALL ON THE SAME NIGHT? Is there a tsunami someplace? What's crazy?
16.People who cannot, under any circumstances, miss LOST. These same people, 12 years ago, couldn't miss FRIENDS.
17. Anyone who has a "great recipe" for spinach artichoke dip
18. Snifflers.
19. Those individuals who think its so funny, fresh, and creative to wear "disco clothes" and have "retro days" and stuff like that. These people think disco is "awesome" and probably have a Bee-Gees mix CD right near their empty bottle of Jack Daniels that has been cleaned out, filled with water, and loaded with a high-liter pen so it glows in a black light.
20.People who "love reggae so much" and have Bob Marley's greatest hits to prove it.
21.Office workers who have mugs on their desk that say things like "no coffee, no workee."
22.30 year olds who were "so into the grunge scene" in the mid 90's
Yeah . . .I think that's good for now. What about you?
14 comments:
Man. You hate me.
I hear you Tim, Jared can add me to that list!
Maybe you should do a blog and title it " people I like"...
I guess you can add me & Steve to your list along with Tim and qvc queen.
Cha Cha Said.
OH MY,,,,,, Kind of like people that piss me off that have too much time on their hands to write all the things that piss them off....
Are you watching to much Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes or something...
OH ya, and what about the people that ASK,,,,, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION,,,,,, that should be first on your list....
Ta ta for now..... (don't you hate that)!!!
I like Kristin's idea...
I guess you can add me to your list too, Jared - I have a tote bag.
Have a goody!
Apparently we are not as perfect as you. At least the peon's know where they stand on your list.
how is the weather, cool enough for you?
geez people . . .i thought you'd agree with me . . .and maybe even laugh . . .not send me hateful emails and bad comments . . .
Cha Cha says,,,,, BLAH BLAH BLAH
You seemed to have stirred up some emotions among your readers. Perhaps its time for an intervention of some kind to release some of this apparant hate you have bottled up inside.
How about people who buy organic and think they are making a difference !!!!!!
I do 5 things on your list. We are fighting.
I can appreciate all of your "pet peeves". I'm sure every one of us at one time or another could rattle off a similar list...myself included.
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