Look At This

Look at this picture of Darth Vader at the beach. Just look at it. This is perhaps the most random thing I have seen in a long time--and I am pretty random and eccentric. This is even weird to ME. When I saw this (along with a bunch of other pictures like this on ebaumsworld.com) I laughed for probably three whole minutes straight. Then, after I shut the computer off, I went on with my daily life, but the image of Darth Vader at the beach, pouring water from a Brita filter into a non-filtered bottle just kept popping into my head, and I had to stop and laugh. Amanda stated to me that she had not heard or seen me laugh like that for a long time.

I know you probably see it and say "what's the big deal," but I just think random things are so humorous. When I was in high school, I took this completely useless class called "computer applications." I got a C- in it. My good friend Johnny Crockett was in it with me. We used those old Mac computers--the ones with the wicked little grey screens that seemed to be "set back" like two feet from the glass. I remember liking the way the keys sounded and felt when you tapped on them to type. At this time (circa 1994) I dont think "Windows" was even out. Was it? Anyway, as I said, the class was useless, and I dont remember anything about it. Mr Gove, our teacher, yakked and yakked about "templates" and "letters" and ""spreadsheets." But all I did was search throughout the little computer's small memory for clip art, which I then copied and pasted to "word documents." For little 1 gig computers, they had an impressive (and random) library of "images." There were lots of pumpkins--I copied those. There were baby chicks. I got those too. There was an American Indian. There were cowboys. I found a tractor. I copied a sedan. I cut and paste all these images into something that would later be known as "The Funbook."

Some things were so funny as a kid, and then, when you grow up, you reflect on them, and they become funny not for their "content," but for the sophmoricism and immaturity you showed off when you were that age. But the "Funbook," today, is still as funny for its content, and I look through it sometimes. I put a pumpkin man in a hot air balloon, and then used "Macdraw" to modify it. I had a baby chick driving a police car, hustling to a scene where there was a burning building with little pumpkin men running out for their lives. There was an Indian having a conversation with a turkey about what kinds of cookies he liked. One that Johnny still remembers is a picture of a burning earth with a solitary baby chick looking on. The caption said "Why." No reason. Just funny.

As a schoolteacher, I am privy to the concept that kids just want attention, and, moreover, they want attention for being "creative," "fresh," or "unique"--I love the bumper sticker that reads "you're unique . . .just like everyone else." How true this statement is. Honestly, it is kind of pathetic to watch kids try to be so "ultra original" that they just end up looking foolish. As a testament to this, I dont know how many times, per week, year after year, Jane (our office secretary) announces for the girls field hockey team to be dismissed or the freshmen football team to be let out early, or whatever team is travelling away. And always, like clockwork, you get some shamoke--always a boy, I'm afraid--"half stand" up like he is getting dismissed for girls soccer or girls cross country or girl's field hockey. Sometimes, they even gesture that they are going to walk towards the door. I have learned to completely negate these sorts of actions--I dont even dignify shameless attempts at self promotion.

Wait a minute . . .that's this entire blog (wah wah wah trumpet noise)

I guess to each their own, and if its funny to you, then that is all that matters. My friends and I still base 91 percent of our conversations around the Jerky Boys (albums 1 through 5) and MTV's (genius) cancelled sketch comedy show "The State." My wife is both bedazzled and concerned about how in-sync John, Jay, and I are with our language utterances. Sometimes, all she will hear me say on my end of the phone (instead of normal things like 'how is work' or 'how is your one year old son doing?) are things like "I'm up in the chair now," or "I . .. want . . .Wanda!" or "TOR . . . S." These things must make NO sense to you . . .I understand that. But isnt it so wonderful to have people with which to share things are that are so "inside" and arcane to everyone but you?