You KNOW you've all thought about this at some point in your lives . . . .
1. Human beings are seemingly the only animals who have to wipe themselves after they go "number 2." Dogs, cats, and other animals, seem to go very . . .um . . . cleanly, without any leftover "residue." But humans need toilet paper. Perhaps this is a small trade off for the fact that we we run the world instead of cats. Call it a tie, I guess.
2. Two great inventions would be both flatulence filters AND mufflers. The muffler version of this might manifest itself in a special sort of undergarment that would muffle out any vibration or reverberation of any type of gas passing out of the buttocks region. The filter version of this, obviously, might be some sort of malleable carbon filter, that moved with you as you walked and sat, that would be crush any scent given off my said flatulence. We definitely have the technology to do this, so why dont we? We have diamond studded bras and thongs, but no filtered underwear so people can fart in peace, without fear of repercussions. The world would be a better and healthier place, because, let's face it--it feels so good to let one rip
3. The dumbest taboo has to be the whole deal with picking your nose. Who cares? If you have dirt on your face, you wash it off, right? If you have crust in the corners of your eyes, you scratch it out, dont you? They even give toothpicks out in restaurants so people can sit and clean their teeth--and this is acceptable. So why is it so "rude" to take dried up "dirt" out of your nose? Its just dirt . . .with maybe a little mucous. People sneeze, cough, and sniffle all the time--whats the big deal. Just like with the farting thing--the world would be both healthier and happier because more people would breathe so much better
Honestly, there should be some kind of pill to take that nullifies fart smell. With everything "we" can do today, this can't happen?
ReplyDeletePicking one's nose does gross me out, depending on the setting. Last year during MCAS (a lovely standardized test the state of Massachusetts gives the children of the Commonwealth) I had a girl sit in my room for 3 hours digging HARD. It grossed me out to see her face get all distorted as she used her finger to push her nose around. Then she'd nonchalantly roll what she had found and drop it to the floor. There also were a few occasions where apparantly she felt hungry and decided to order some take-out.
Totally Gross.
i knew this blog was gonna go downhill when you went back to school.
ReplyDelete