Halloween Part 2

I am a grumpy old man . . .

Halloween is such an AMERICAN holiday, and here is why

1. it teaches people they can get things (candy) just by being fake (costumed) and saying what everyone wants to hear (trick or treat)

2. it is perfectly in sync with our totally liberal-entitled"gimmie gimmie" culture where people just expect things for free without working for them. . .and if they dont get free stuff, they vandalize your property by smashing pumpkins or toilet papering your trees

3. it celebrates the promiscuous, egregious, and carnal

4. Americans are addicted to sugar

5. there IS somewhat of exercise involved in the act of trick or treating . . .but its sole motivation is to get stuff loaded with calories in the first place

6. people can act out their sexual fantasies of dressing in drag OR as a slut OR as a Power Ranger . . .and its perfectly acceptable--for one night

7. it teaches kids that its okay . . .even a rite of passage . . .to damage other people's property if you dont get what you want

8. in an age where, increasingly, we are limiting our person to person contact and hiding behind technology (texting, IMing, emailing, etc.), trick or treating is yet again another opportunity for people to mask their true identity, hide from the world, and not be accountable for things they do or say . . ..because "I' didnt do it---it was "Batman."

9. we get to buy cheap stuff made in hong kong, and then throw it away when we are bored with it (how many of us actually keep our old plastic costumes from WalMart?)

10. every year, the debate rages about how Halloween is, in itself, a "pagan" holiday, and we advertise it in schools and in public places . . . .and, in America, liberals are always looking for an excuse to bring up the separation of church and state topic again . . .

BUT . . .it is a lot of fun to be with friends and neighbors. Like I wrote in my last entry, I went over to the Greenlaws for Cindy's birthday/Halloween party. I tried to take pictures of our street which, seriously, should have been blocked off by the police--walking down Military Ave between 5 and 7 was like walking down "frat row" at UNH on a Saturday night between, well, 1AM and 3AM . . .it was impossible to drive a car down the road. We estimated we probably saw well over 200 trick or treaters. We had fun . . .Cindy made a stellar lasagna (or 3) and we ate candy, Hillmans, and cheese and crackers. I brought over our fire pit and we had a nice fire to stand by. It was a great, family friendly atmosphere!

To go with my above "rant" about Halloween, the following happened at around 5:15 tonight: I worked out at the track from about 4-5. Upon driving home to my house, sweaty, dirty, and achy, I noticed kids already out getting candy. NO JOKE-these parents, leading their kids, followed my truck right into my driveway and WAITED while I opened the truck door. TRICK OR TREAT they said, holding out their bags towards me. I looked at the parents. Surely, they realized the ridiculousness of this, right? Nope. "Guys . . .I am just getting home . . .let me get out of the truck first," I said, half jokingly and half pissed off. "Should we wait here, or just come back? How long do you think you will be?" asked the parents.

This is what's happening to Halloween.