1. When people were trying to invent the square, and they failed, where did they go back to?
2. "Tires" is a misnomer. Tires are the "front line" of any automobile, and they very rarely get "tired." Anything that goes for 40k miles before needing to be replaced shouldnt be called "tire." Thats just not fair.
3. I wonder if anyone has ever kept track of which generation in history pees the most. I know that sounds gross, but think about this: Americans of the 21st century must pee more than any other race on the planet. Ever. Just about everyone (myself included) these days carries around a water bottle of some kind, constantly drinking water. For an era of people supposedly so concerned about saving, protecting, and conserving the environment, we certainly consume a lot of water and create a lot of waste in the form of urine. Soon, they'll say this contributes to global warming.
4. Its funny how Sports stores call their products "goods." Dick's "sporting goods," for example. What's so good about it? JC Penny doesnt sell dress goods or casual goods. And there are some stores, like "Play it again sports" which sell "used" sporting goods. Well if they are used, aren't they "less good" than they used to be? Shouldnt they sell "sporting half-goods?"
5. Men, as usual in this day in age, get the shaft. I was trying to think of all the words I could that start with "man" in front of it. Besides "Manhattan," which is a proper noun, all I thought of was "manipulate," "manner," and "manure." This leads me to believe that all words starting with "man" have negative connotations attached to them. To "manipulate" means to use someone or something for your own purposes. Not good. "Manners" more often than not are bad (impoliteness) in this world, and this carries with it a negative vibe. Finally, "manure" is just a fancy word for shit, so where is the fun in that? How many negative sounding words start with "girl" or "lady?"
6. I bet it would stink to work at a ticker tape factory in any other city but New York or Boston. They have great job security there--all those parades and all. Is ticker tape used for anything else but parades anymore? I bet there is no need for ticker tape in places like Nevada or Ohio where they never win anything--unless they have some secret use for it . . . . . .hmmmm . . . ..
7. Can vegetarians eat Venus Fly Traps? I mean, its a plant, but . . . .
8. I bought some Christmas Candy the other day at Hannaford--it was red and green colored gumdrops. They were stale. Christmas isnt even for like two months, and the candy was stale already??
9. Santa Claus has a Spanish first name and a German last name. That's quite the mix. I wonder which parent was which? I think his looks take after the German side of the family--all that whiteness and all. . . .
10. In the computer world, we call it a "template." This denotes something transient, or short lived, since the word "temp" is right in the name. The Geeks got us again though, because a template is a permanent fixture on a computer that is a permanent "form" you can use to write a letter, do a spreadsheet, etc. A template is an "original," so whats so temporary about that?
11. Why are foods like rice, pasta, and potatoes called "staples?" We don't eat staples do we? Why do they name foods we eat all the time after something we never eat in the first place? If you ate staples that would be silly!
12. Those tongue depressors you see at doctor's offices are nothing more than obese popsicle sticks who couldnt handle it working in the frozen treat industry. In their eyes, which is the more noble profession?
13. Calzones are just pizzas with self confidence issues.
2. "Tires" is a misnomer. Tires are the "front line" of any automobile, and they very rarely get "tired." Anything that goes for 40k miles before needing to be replaced shouldnt be called "tire." Thats just not fair.
3. I wonder if anyone has ever kept track of which generation in history pees the most. I know that sounds gross, but think about this: Americans of the 21st century must pee more than any other race on the planet. Ever. Just about everyone (myself included) these days carries around a water bottle of some kind, constantly drinking water. For an era of people supposedly so concerned about saving, protecting, and conserving the environment, we certainly consume a lot of water and create a lot of waste in the form of urine. Soon, they'll say this contributes to global warming.
4. Its funny how Sports stores call their products "goods." Dick's "sporting goods," for example. What's so good about it? JC Penny doesnt sell dress goods or casual goods. And there are some stores, like "Play it again sports" which sell "used" sporting goods. Well if they are used, aren't they "less good" than they used to be? Shouldnt they sell "sporting half-goods?"
5. Men, as usual in this day in age, get the shaft. I was trying to think of all the words I could that start with "man" in front of it. Besides "Manhattan," which is a proper noun, all I thought of was "manipulate," "manner," and "manure." This leads me to believe that all words starting with "man" have negative connotations attached to them. To "manipulate" means to use someone or something for your own purposes. Not good. "Manners" more often than not are bad (impoliteness) in this world, and this carries with it a negative vibe. Finally, "manure" is just a fancy word for shit, so where is the fun in that? How many negative sounding words start with "girl" or "lady?"
6. I bet it would stink to work at a ticker tape factory in any other city but New York or Boston. They have great job security there--all those parades and all. Is ticker tape used for anything else but parades anymore? I bet there is no need for ticker tape in places like Nevada or Ohio where they never win anything--unless they have some secret use for it . . . . . .hmmmm . . . ..
7. Can vegetarians eat Venus Fly Traps? I mean, its a plant, but . . . .
8. I bought some Christmas Candy the other day at Hannaford--it was red and green colored gumdrops. They were stale. Christmas isnt even for like two months, and the candy was stale already??
9. Santa Claus has a Spanish first name and a German last name. That's quite the mix. I wonder which parent was which? I think his looks take after the German side of the family--all that whiteness and all. . . .
10. In the computer world, we call it a "template." This denotes something transient, or short lived, since the word "temp" is right in the name. The Geeks got us again though, because a template is a permanent fixture on a computer that is a permanent "form" you can use to write a letter, do a spreadsheet, etc. A template is an "original," so whats so temporary about that?
11. Why are foods like rice, pasta, and potatoes called "staples?" We don't eat staples do we? Why do they name foods we eat all the time after something we never eat in the first place? If you ate staples that would be silly!
12. Those tongue depressors you see at doctor's offices are nothing more than obese popsicle sticks who couldnt handle it working in the frozen treat industry. In their eyes, which is the more noble profession?
13. Calzones are just pizzas with self confidence issues.
Is this your new class photo?
ReplyDeleteOne of your best meanderings, I enjoyed it. How do you think of these things?
ReplyDeleteHere's a meandering I thought of this morning watching the morning news:
ReplyDeleteWhy do the Wheatherman ask "how long will this cold spell last?" or "When will the warmer wheather arrive?" I just want to say "da, it's winter now, isn't it suppose to be cold?"
Who the heck is that in the last picture?
ReplyDeletewhether you meant to say weather, that is the question.
ReplyDeleteCha Cha Says,
ReplyDeleteHOw about "MENapause" or MAMogram", !!!!
In regards to the Santa Claus-dual nationality nomer, there is a baseball player named Juan Pierre. Kind of funny. Or the blackest Irishman since BTM, Troy O'Leary.
ReplyDeleteHow about a pic of Fernando's nipple rings in an upcoming blog?
ReplyDelete