So its been so busy this week with Christmas shopping and all that I haven’t had the time to focus on writing new blogs. But it will get better, with more meanderings and other great stuff. I think I am finally done with Sally Piles and her gifts. I thought I'd take a few minutes during lunch to blog from my classroom . . .
No snowday today, even though most thought we would be home. Oh well. Most kids don’t realize that we have to go 184 days anyway, so it’s a win/win situation no matter what . . .we either go in the cold or we go when its 75 degrees.
I take such pleasure, as a teacher, in seeing the little cherub’s faces when it snows; the mind game possibilities are endless. Saying things like “I heard we are going home early” or “Someone told me we have no school tomorrow because of the snow” or “Ask Ms. Clark/Mr.LaChapelle/Mr. Atwood, but I am pretty sure I saw on the computer that we’ll be getting out at 11 today.” These types of rumors circulate faster than Jehovah’s Witness door pamphlets on the week before Easter . . .
Although, it is pretty frustrating when schools around us close (like YORK where SARAH works). Its funny how there are some schools in Maine that we call “the wuss” schools. Erskine Academy and Rumford come to mind . . .I swear, the superintendents must look outside and say to themselves “well . . . .its cloudy today . . . .no school I guess.” Truth be told, the roads were pretty bad, but I’m happy to be here, since it just means we wont go all summer (although I’ll be off anyway, taking care of “the bean).
If you could be one Christmas character, which one would you be?
Frosty would be a bad choice, because people are always messing with you, playing mind games, and threatening you. You have to choose your friends carefully, since the wrong friend would strip you of your hate and you’d be rendered useless. You never get any new clothes by which you can get your mack on, since all you get to wear are old scarves and moldy hats that smell like old aquariums. You have a freakin carrot for a nose. Then there is temperature factor. . . .
Rudolph would stink, because you know the only reason people are being “nice” to you is because they need something. If it is a clear night, I bet Rudolph has no support. But when its foggy, everyone becomes two faced phonies . . .He's too co-dependent; he's being whored out and he doesnt even care!
The Grinch would be an okay choice, except that people would always assume you look the way you look because you smoke ciggy butts, and this isnt true. This might also lead to other false assumptions about you--like you're a pedophile because you live all alone in a cave Just wait til' the Morning Sentinel gets ahold of you! Plus, your long craggly fingers would be in the way of everything: corn on the cob, stroking a pretty girl's hair, and Jenga
The Abominable Snowman? Who’s gonna kiss him on New Year’s Eve?
The Elf from “Rudolph” that wants to be a dentist would be unfavorable as far as I’m concerned. No offense, but who “dreams” of being a dentist? Moreover, who dreams it when you’ve got a pretty sweet deal working for Santa? I bet he doesn’t drink. He goes to the bar with friends, politely smiles at jokes he doesn’t think are funny, and, occasionally, adjusts his turtleneck because he’s too hot.
Santa would be tough, because you’ve got so much to live up to. What if you wanted to change your clothes? Or shave? Or go on the Atkins diet? You think people judge Jennifer Love Hewitt or Crapney Spears for the way THEY look or change their appearance? Imagine the field day they’d have with St. Nick?
I think I’d want to be Charlie Brown, because this way, I, personally, would have to change the least. I already get stressed out about everything, and I already have the mindset that people dislike me. Also, we have the same haircut, and I love sweaters. If I were Charlie Brown, the first thing I’d do is send Snoopy to the pound. He sucks. Man’s best friend? He be frontin’ on Brownie boy all the time—laughing at his shortcomings, exploiting his weaknesses, and encouraging others to make fun of him. I’d be Charlie Brown because he tries to appreciate the small things in life, and I know that if I brought home a tree like he did, Amanda would love it anyway . . .
No snowday today, even though most thought we would be home. Oh well. Most kids don’t realize that we have to go 184 days anyway, so it’s a win/win situation no matter what . . .we either go in the cold or we go when its 75 degrees.
I take such pleasure, as a teacher, in seeing the little cherub’s faces when it snows; the mind game possibilities are endless. Saying things like “I heard we are going home early” or “Someone told me we have no school tomorrow because of the snow” or “Ask Ms. Clark/Mr.LaChapelle/Mr. Atwood, but I am pretty sure I saw on the computer that we’ll be getting out at 11 today.” These types of rumors circulate faster than Jehovah’s Witness door pamphlets on the week before Easter . . .
Although, it is pretty frustrating when schools around us close (like YORK where SARAH works). Its funny how there are some schools in Maine that we call “the wuss” schools. Erskine Academy and Rumford come to mind . . .I swear, the superintendents must look outside and say to themselves “well . . . .its cloudy today . . . .no school I guess.” Truth be told, the roads were pretty bad, but I’m happy to be here, since it just means we wont go all summer (although I’ll be off anyway, taking care of “the bean).
If you could be one Christmas character, which one would you be?
Frosty would be a bad choice, because people are always messing with you, playing mind games, and threatening you. You have to choose your friends carefully, since the wrong friend would strip you of your hate and you’d be rendered useless. You never get any new clothes by which you can get your mack on, since all you get to wear are old scarves and moldy hats that smell like old aquariums. You have a freakin carrot for a nose. Then there is temperature factor. . . .
Rudolph would stink, because you know the only reason people are being “nice” to you is because they need something. If it is a clear night, I bet Rudolph has no support. But when its foggy, everyone becomes two faced phonies . . .He's too co-dependent; he's being whored out and he doesnt even care!
The Grinch would be an okay choice, except that people would always assume you look the way you look because you smoke ciggy butts, and this isnt true. This might also lead to other false assumptions about you--like you're a pedophile because you live all alone in a cave Just wait til' the Morning Sentinel gets ahold of you! Plus, your long craggly fingers would be in the way of everything: corn on the cob, stroking a pretty girl's hair, and Jenga
The Abominable Snowman? Who’s gonna kiss him on New Year’s Eve?
The Elf from “Rudolph” that wants to be a dentist would be unfavorable as far as I’m concerned. No offense, but who “dreams” of being a dentist? Moreover, who dreams it when you’ve got a pretty sweet deal working for Santa? I bet he doesn’t drink. He goes to the bar with friends, politely smiles at jokes he doesn’t think are funny, and, occasionally, adjusts his turtleneck because he’s too hot.
Santa would be tough, because you’ve got so much to live up to. What if you wanted to change your clothes? Or shave? Or go on the Atkins diet? You think people judge Jennifer Love Hewitt or Crapney Spears for the way THEY look or change their appearance? Imagine the field day they’d have with St. Nick?
I think I’d want to be Charlie Brown, because this way, I, personally, would have to change the least. I already get stressed out about everything, and I already have the mindset that people dislike me. Also, we have the same haircut, and I love sweaters. If I were Charlie Brown, the first thing I’d do is send Snoopy to the pound. He sucks. Man’s best friend? He be frontin’ on Brownie boy all the time—laughing at his shortcomings, exploiting his weaknesses, and encouraging others to make fun of him. I’d be Charlie Brown because he tries to appreciate the small things in life, and I know that if I brought home a tree like he did, Amanda would love it anyway . . .
A) I love that you're writing a blog from your classroom, B) I'm still sorry you guys had school today, even though you said you don't mind.... because it is pretty crumby out, C) I don't feel that bad actually, because I had to work today too, haha, D) I loved this blog because of your analysis of christmas characters! it was fun to read! that's all......
ReplyDeleteI would'nt want to be Mrs. Claus, because Santa only comes once a year!!
ReplyDeleteI think you should be Brian Boitano in some rendition of Nutcracker on ice, because you're gay.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas snookums!