What is love?

First, a couple of pictures.....Callum has really been getting into cooking lately!! He always wants to be involved, and he loves "stirring" things. Look at his focus as he puts some cheese on Amanda's famous homemade pizza (look at the little pile of mozzarella!)

playing with the spatula, getting ready to smooth out the sauce.....

First of all, a pledge from Goldsmith5 to post more. If not for you, for us. We want to capture all the small events of our humble lives up here in Maine...we want Callum to see it all someday.

I titled this post as I did simply because I used to think that the love between a couple was magnified by a power of 10 when they brought children into the world, and worked together to raise them; thus, I have seen my love for Amanda increase and develop into new and beautiful ways ever since we have collectively begun bringing up our son. However, I think even THIS love becomes exponentially more rich if husband, wife, and 1.5 year old become voraciously ill (with a bio-terrorism strain of stomach flu) and still manage to NOT ONLY not kill each other, but also take care of each other, nurture and support each other, and work through the squalor of what our home became yesterday. And now, arriving somewhat through the end of this thicket of diarrhea and vomit, I am proud of you Amanda....and I am proud of you Callum.....we all worked very well together yesterday.

Besides my experience with cancer, I can think of two other times in my life (and I am totally serious) when I have felt as bad. One was on the day we moved into our home in Fairfield, and the other was when I actually HAD real "influenza" three years ago. The past two days here on Military Ave have certainly rivaled both of these. I'll spare you most of the details, suffice to say that we were absolutely obliterated--I actually cried because I was too weak to even pick up my own son (now, this is absolutely hilarious!!)--Amanda and I were both truly emotional wrecks yesterday...in addition to physical wrecks. It must have been some type of 24 hour bug or something...because we are both eating, drinking, and walking--and keeping everything in our body, to digest in an orderly fashion. However, the utter weakness still remains--as any of my students who had me today will tell you. I went into school today (I dont know why) and basically just told them "okay....today sucks and I feel like crap....get out your midterm notes and study.....I'll be at my desk...shut up and get to work." And that was all.

Okay, it didnt go EXACTLY like that....but almost....

As with any traumatic situation, there are funny moments. Here are two:

1. Callum got us both sick (he is grounded). I got sick first (while Amanda was out at her book club on Wednesday night). As I was retching into the toilet bowl, pleading for my life with the porcelain god, thinking things couldnt be any worse (did I mention the mess on the floor?) I hear our little buddy awake in a fit of terror (I am LOUUUDDD when I throw up). So, with vomitous hands and shirt, I go to soothe by raucous son. Just what I wanted to do at that point.

2. During the 3rd or 4th time throwing up, for some reason, I started thinking of this clip in mid vomit-stream www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiQJ3c4o-Gl (if this doesnt work, please do yourself a favor and go to youtube, and enter "glee josh grobin." And then picture me laughing WHILE I was throwing up, and having carrots come out of my nose. This 22 second clip is, for some reason, the funniest thing I have seen in weeks. I love it!

So that is love. Throwing up one minute, and then kissing the next. Ah, the mystery of marriage just keeps getting more and more intriguing....

I'm such a baby.....(a reflection)

A rare family photo of the Goldsmiths (usually there is no one to take the picture!). Note the new "Newcastle Brown Ale" beer towel (from England) Amanda got me for Christmas....Former student Meryl stopped by on her break from college--Callum took NO TIME to warm up to Meryl. He last saw her during her last winter break. She is so great with kids--she has such grace and gentleness and Callum just loves her.
Callum kept bringing out book after book after book for Meryl to read to him. And he loved showing off his trains....
Callum's new favorite game: He stands on my stomach and jumps up and down to the rhythm of the "jingle bells" song from Elmo. He sings it as he jumps.

I figured out something about myself today while cross country skiing off the Quarry Road in Waterville: I am a total wuss. I am actually a very fearful person; and I dont mean "emotionally" either (well, that too, I am sure). I have a real tangible fear of both heights and speed. And this is funny, since I consider bicycling to be my most favorite thing in the world--gunning it down a steep hill on a road bike can garner speeds of up to 50+ MPH (unless, like me, you ride the brakes down the hill, evening out at a peaceful 27-30MPH. Why am I so afraid? I've never had any type of traumatic experience (well, Anthony, there WAS that time at Attitash......). I mean, I just recently fell of my bike for the first time this past September, and I have been afraid of speed and heights long before that. So maybe I need past life regression therapy....or hypnosis.....or just a couple of beers.

Skiing has become, as of late, a close second to bicycling for an outdoor activity I love to do the most. I've always said there are two types of people in this world: XC skiers, and downhill skiers. Downhill folks like to bask in the thrill of the moment; they live quickly and they love instant gratification. Or so I thought. XC skiers, on the other hand, love to "take life in," and go slowly, observing all the beauty of the moments that make up our lives. Except, for me, XC is nothing like that. First of all, it is hard work and my legs and hips kill. Second, you go pretty damn fast down some of the heavily packed down, quasi icy trails. And when you get to an actual HILL (and I say "hill" in a relative sense, since we are talking about central Maine here....this isnt the White Mtns.) you go pretty fast. And this absolutely terrifies me. Cross country skiing is, for me, the perfect nightmare of height and speed--both are whisked together in a sort of cardiovascular omelet. I am skiddish, slow, and fearful when I ski. I even fall once in a while (on the flat parts, even). And I have no grace whatsoever.

But I love being out on my skis.

Even when I am with friends or around people, I can't seem to "man up" and play the part of a fearless, typical "guy." I am an unabashed scaredy cat, and even when getting to a hill and my friend says to me "come on Jared....just snowplow down....its nothing at all....you can do it," I still take off my skis and walk down the hill. Why is this? Any psychologists out there?

But all these thoughts came to fruition this afternoon when I realized how easy the trails actually are, and how silly I must look to others. The Quarry Road trails are beautiful, pristine, well groomed, and heavily used by both novice and expert skiers. In fact this afternoon there were a few groups of lessons going on--everyone from Colby students to 6-7 year old hooligans were getting lessons on how to "squat and reach" when going downhill....and how to "skate-ski," and a bunch of other stuff. Maybe I should take some lessons. The kids were learning the correct technique (I've never been a fan of technique in any facet of my life....i.e. formal music lessons). And, suddenly, while walking down a semi-steep hill in a beautiful pine forest, a half dozen 3rd graders came absolutely WIZZING by me....not a traceable iota of fear on any of their red, snotty faces. Such grace. I dont know--maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

Callum is happy it is almost Friday.....

Callum loves to laugh--that much is obvious. But tonight at dinner we gave him one of his little ice cream sandwiches for dessert, and then rolled up the wax paper in which it was wrapped. Amanda threw it at me, and Callum thought it was hilarious. Naturally, we tried to get as much mileage out of it as possible....even if I had to throw it at myself....enjoy

Wunderful!

Amanda got an iPod touch for Christmas, and we have been really enjoying it (she lets me use it). We bought it to use almost exclusively for listening to radio stations--with the touch, you can go on the internet (the iPod touch is just like the iPhone...with the exception of the phone part). Since we have the cool docking station, we just stick the ipod into the station, and listen through the speakers. We really enjoy AOL radio and Pandora....but the thing we just cannot get enough of is an application called Wunderradio. It was probably the best 7 bucks we ever spent. Unlike XM, you dont have a monthly subscription....we paid 7 bucks and we were done. Wunderradio allows you to listen to virtually any radio station in the world....in the world!! We have listened to Chinese pop, which is hilarious, and we have checked out German folk music, just because we can. In Maine, your choices are pretty much limited to NPR or country. And although I love NPR, I get tired of hearing Dianne Rehms try to talk, so Wunderradio fills the void nicely. What we've learned is that Canada seems to have the best radio stations in the world. More reason to move to Newfoundland. But what we really love is:
91.9 WUMB (a folk station I used to listen to...Umass Boston radio)
CKUA (a community supported radio station from Alberta Canada that plays amazing jazz)
WLSB (a Copperville, KY station playing bluegrass music)
WSCA (Portsmouth NH's community radio station)

I also love the fact that I can listen to great Boston and RI stations like I used to as a kid--WBRU, for example (Brown University's station) was a mainstay on my dial growing up. In addition to radio stations, you can select programs you like (A prairie home companion, World Cafe, Folk Alley, Weekly top 40, Lady GaGa's show, etc) and it will bring you to the most recent broadcast of the show.

Well worth the money

Hopefully everyone is well. Amanda and I have been doing a bunch of skiing and snowshoeing in the afternoons while one of us watches CS. Hopefully we get more snow soon. And midterms are looming over the campus of WHS. January is always a fast month. Have a good night

meanderings 57

9 to start '10

1. We had to buy matches the other day, since we were out (well, that logically follows, doesnt it??) But I digress.....So we buy these boxes of matches, and when I went to take one out to light the stove I see the following phrase on the box: "New look....same great product." For matches?? Really?? Arent matches just one of those things that have looked the same since they were invented? How could matches possibly look any different and still be effective? In this economy, why are R&D folks spending good money looking for ways to improve matches? (Plus, they didnt look any different......)

2. When people arent sure about the weather, or an impending storm, they might say "well, we arent sure about the track of the blizzard....so we'll just keep it up in the air." Of course it is, silly! I love double entendres, and I find great entertainment from watching the weather. More reason why I need to join a club for special people......

3. I think it would be funny if one of the liberal tree hugger hippies wanted to spread the word about the decimation of the world's forests and the corporate "sharking" of the pulp paper industry. Would one of these hippies write a book in order to do this? And, if they were real, true hippies, would they be upset if the book was an overwhelming success and had to go for a second printing? Hmmmm......

4. Amanda and I got a new game for Christmas. It is called "Quelf." That, in itself, is funny. Quelf is a game that seems to be similar to all the Cranium games where one needs to act out, be creative, etc. But what was perhaps more interesting was the disclaimer at the top of the directions that advised anyone playing the game to "check with your physician before undertaking any new recreational activity." Hilarious. I am imagining going to the doctor's and paying a 15 dollar co-pay JUST so I can say "Hi Dr Murray-James! I brought this game with me today.....I am wondering if you could read the directions to Quelf, and then tell me if I am healthy enough to play it. Thanks. Oh? Not sure? Well, why dont we play a couple of rounds of Quelf, and then you can observe me to see if it is okay if I continue. Great."

5. From the "Are you serious???" file: We bought Callum a box of Hood ice cream sandwiches the other day--they are really cute, since they are little "quarter" sandwiches. He loves them. On the box, emblazoned in yellow letters, reads: "Special freezer pack!" Do advertisers even have to graduate high school?

6. My mom is going to see "Bowser" at Mohegan Sun. You know....."Bowser"......from "Sha-Na-Na???"......you know.......

7. One of my least favorite parts about living in Maine has to be the people who have to falsely emphasize that they are indeed from Maine by pronouncing "baked potato" as "baked pu-tay-tuh." I can handle the highest taxes and the second worse governor in the US (after Deval). But PLEASE can Susan Collins do something about this?

8. Did I mention that my mom is going to see "Bowser?"

9. The only time we ever listen to country music (an oxymoron in itself) is when we eat breakfast at our favorite breakfast place: The Flatlanda' (yes, I hate the "a'" thing too.....). We ate there yesterday, and I noticed how each country song basically follows the same cliche formula: You've got a quasi-catchy guitar riff with shallow vocals that go on for 1.5 minutes or so, and then, quite abruptly, ALL the music stops (except for maybe the bass drum) and you have the quasi attractive female vocalist say her "catch phrase." Then the music starts again and we're back to the crap. You know what I mean by "catch phrase," right? It is how country music lyrics work.....every other piece of lyric can be awful....but there needs to be some type of "anthem-like," totally repeatable line to say when the music stops like "you can take my life, but dont touch my truck," or "put down the lipstick and pick up my Remington" or "I burned my skirt, and from the flames lit my cigar" or something like that. And you need to sing it to that special country "beat" thing. You know what I'm talking about.....try it.....I know you know what I mean....

Makes snow difference to us.....

We love going outside in the storm. And Callum does too....cant you tell??????

Actually, he really was having fun....it was just that the wind was blowing in his face. Callum is funny in the snow; he loves it, points at it, repeats "snow" ad nauseum....but he doesnt like to walk in it...it is like he thinks it isnt the real "ground" or something. It's funny.
We went out for breakfast, since we knew we would be in all day, and thought getting out would be a good thing. Then, when it really REALLY started snowing, he hung out and read Thomas the Train books, played alphabet blocks, did puzzles, and danced to bluegrass stations we listened to on Wunderradio. FINALLY Callum went down for a nap, mommy worked on her puzzle, and I started what turned out to be a phenomenal pot roast!

In another year or so, Callum will start pulling his weight around here.....
Before it got dark, Sally and I took turns skiing up and down the streets of our neighborhood...the town had not plowed yet, so the conditions were perfect. How often do you get to ski in the street?????

The calm before the (big) storm

Happy New Year everyone. As I write this, it is snowing furiously outside (like it has been since yesterday, starting at about one o'clock), yet, according to the weatheridiots, the "real storm" hasnt even started yet. I dont obsess over weather forecasts like a lot of people do, but this is interesting to watch, since there are really three separate storms that are (and will be) affecting Maine...and one of them will go out to sea, get stronger, and then come BACK to hit us again. At any rate, the National Weather Service has warned Maine to prepare for a snowstorm of "historical significance." Wow. That kind of sounds scary, huh? But we have plenty of wood, DVDs, books, and groceries to get us through. Like I said, it started snowing on Thursday, and isnt supposed to stop until early Monday morning!!!

I spent the morning of New Year's day doing some cross country skiing with Pastor Nielsen, the pastor of our church. We had been talking about going, and the conditions were pretty nice yesterday morning. It was my first time using my "new-to me" skis (friend and blog contributor MET gave me these at the end of last winter), and I had a blast. There are just so many great places to get into the woods around here! Pastor and I went to the "Quarry Hill" woods in Waterville; actually, we started in Waterville, and skiied back into Fairfield. Stunning views, and even groomed trails!! Below, you can see the cleared area where the Colby College Ski Team's tow-rope used to go.....

Pretending I know what I am doing.....but what is interesting to me is the sky: When we started, it was bright and sunny, and we could virtually watch the storm moving in across the horizon...
Last night, being New Year's Eve was a quiet night for the Goldsmiths. We were going to go have dinner with the Pelotte's, but that fell through when it started snowing. But we were also invited over to the Shore's house (the two girls who always play with Callum) to have some drinks and play some Wii. Later that night, Amanda and I played Scrabble. As always happens when I am winning (so, in essence, EVERY time!), Amanda desperately tries to make up points by creating some ridiculous word....and then is ADAMANT that the word exists. Over the years, I have made the following deal with her: She needs to both pronounce AND define the word; if I am impressed, she can have the points. Last night's word, as you can see at the bottom of the board, is pronounced "keck-sance" and is defined as being "very hectic and confusing situation." She even used it in a sentence: "The Goldsmith house was in a Qexonsce on Christmas morning with all those presents!" Whatever.......
Here are Amanda and Callum taking a break from looking at the storm outside....Callum even watched some of "White Christmas" today. He likes the dancing.
Food is a huge component of snow storm lore....and Amanda and I decided to combine talents to make homemade turkey pot pie. I had roasted a turkey breast earlier in the week, and I combined those leftovers with a "from scratch" gravy I made. Amanda made her signature crust, and we baked it in one of the cast iron skillets. It was awesome.
Looking forward to the storm to come.....