Lo How a Rose Ere Blooming.....

Fear. When we think of Christmas it isnt something that really comes to mind, is it? Yet, as we have been doing our Advent devotions, listening to Christmas music, and meditating on the true meaning of Christmas, it is plain to see how the real Christmas--the first and most special Christmas--was one completely predicated on fear. Absolute, unabashed fear. Consider Mary, who was told by an angel that she would conceive a baby who would become the savior of all nations. How was she to explain this to her family and friends, who later would shun her? Consider Joseph, who was betrothed to Mary (back then, people were "married" as soon as they got engaged...but they could not have sex for a year), and later found out, when Mary returned from a three month visit with her cousin Elizabeth, that his wife to be was pregnant with someone other than his baby. How he must have felt--how he must have wrestled with what to do, how people would react, and what his future life would be like. Joseph often gets overlooked, in fact--even when he does take responsibility for the baby Jesus, he has to know in the back of his mind that this baby will not--nor will ever be--his own. As a father of two, I can only imagine the loneliness and unsureness this must have brought him.

Fear. We just dont think of it at Christmas time--we go out, we buy presents, we drink egg nog, and we eat ham. We dont usually fear things at Christmas; in fact, the holiday is more or less based on peace and joy and love and forgiveness. It is based on a 'returning' to the things that matter in life. Isnt it? A returning to family, a returning to love, a returning to unresolved issues that are later rectified: These are the precepts on which Hollywood Christmases are based. Which is why it is so appropriate, in fact, that the original Christmas, the one stoked in fear and unknowingness, is latently a story about returning. Joseph needed to take his wife and her unborn son back to Bethlehem, to the place of his own birth, to satisfy the census that Caesar wanted to take on his subjects. A journey of a hundred miles--from Nazereth to Bethlehem--made up the first Christmas journey to return home; a journey made by so many of us, either physically, mentally, or emotionally each and every year. To what do we return when the weather turns cold and the wind blows and the days become short and we find ourselves seeped in thought and meditation about where we are and what we have become and where we want to go? To whom do we want to return? Who has left us and who has abandoned us? We could never possibly fathom the abandonment and the fear and the unknowingness that Mary and Joseph must have felt--but we can come close.

For all too many people I know--and sometimes myself--Christmas is about that journey home to satisfy the needs of someone else. Joseph didnt want to travel one hundred miles to Bethlehem--who would? A pregnant wife? A feeble donkey? Thieves? It doesnt sound all that appealing, does it? But he did it. But that is the way of a journey home, no? There are the unresolved emotions and reactions and things left undone. But he had to do it, simply because the emperor wanted it. But, as the author Thomas Wolfe once wrote, "can we ever really go home again?"

And, for all too many people I know--and sometimes myself--Christmas is a time of fear; a holiday so rooted in joy and good tidings somehow innately brings out all of our own iniquities and shortcomings and lackings--we strive to make it good and we push to make it worthy and we dream of a time without fear or inadequacies or questions about our own motivations or wills. And this is sad. For so many reasons. Why is our first impulse fear? Even the shepherds, when seeing the star over Bethlehem that first Christmas, were "so afraid." So what are we to do? Perhaps we need to look toward the song--the beautiful song--"Lo How a Rose 'Ere Blooming"--and just enjoy the moments life brings and think of the rose--the beautiful, mysterious, and complicated rose, with all its own shortcomings, shrouded in thorns and sharp stems, and how, each spring, it finds the courage to bloom, in all its resplendent beauty, and awe the world. Just a little bit more than it had been awed before.

Maira's first vistors

So many of our friends and family have been fantastic throughout the first few days of our daughter's life....we have so much great food prepared, sent, and brought to us....and people are great about coming by to see us. It is funny: Everyone always is a bit apprehensive about going to visit friends with a new baby....they think they are bothering them, etc. But we WANT people here...it is fantastic to have people share in the celebration of a new life. So come on over!!!

Here are a few of Callum's first visitors at the hospital and at home....

The Fitzpatrick's came to the hospital bright and early on Monday morning to see Maira (and Callum, for whom they brought a 'big brother' present). Sasha was anxious to hold the little girl....

And then, while Callum and I were getting a drink in the kitchen, we ran into Erma, the midwife who was supposed to deliver the baby; midwives are not on call during the weekend, so we had to have Dr Glidden deliver (in theory...since she was at Starbucks or something and never showed up to the hospital....). We really love Erma, and she is so good to us. She was sad that she didnt get to deliver Maira, but she was at the hospital on Monday morning for another delivery, so she stopped by and had her picture taken with Maira and Callum
And then there was Amanda's friend from high school--Elizabeth--who came by....
And Mandy Pelotte came Monday after school (I work with Mandy). Her sons Liam and Griffin are Callum's buddies at daycare. We were at the hospital when Griffin and Liam were born, and now here she is, seeing our second in the hospital as well. Really neat.
Lori, Trevor, and Riley Loftus came by later that night. Lori, about whom I have written before, is my friend, running buddy, and co-class advisor.....
We were very blessed to have our good friend Brian--who lives in Virginia--in the Northeast region around the time when Maira was born. Originally up to celebrate a wedding with friends in CT, he then spent the night in Rochester, NH with Andrea and Michael Clauss-Veal. When he heard that our baby had arrived, he drove immediately 2+ hours up to Fairfield to visit, bring us a lasagna, and tease Lupine with a laser pointer that he ended up giving to us so that we could tease her as well. Brian, as some who read the blog will remember, is the one who has the great Adirondack island camp on Seventh Lake....
And on Tuesday, our friend Krista Carlson came by to deliver us some terrific baked ziti!
Our friends have brought us baked ziti, American chop suey, pork roll, lasagna, beef stew, macaroni and cheese, and more. It is great to not have to cook!

Things here at starting to settle down a bit; Maira is sleeping in (sometimes) 3 hour spurts. So that is fun. Let's hope this expands a bit soon.....

Our new life

Maira Elizabeth Goldsmith
Born: 12/12/10
5:03pm
8 pounds 11 ounces
21 inches long

It was Sunday morning when I was at church teaching Sunday School.....in the middle of talking about the birth of John the Baptist and how it corresponds to the birth of the Christ Child--in the book of Luke--I suddenly heard the phone in the church office ring. "Who calls a church on Sunday morning?" I asked myself. I just followed my intuition, went upstairs, called Amanda back, and sure enough it was what I thought: Her water had broken, and she was trying to get ahold of me....I sped home, and off to the hothible (Callumish for HOSPITAL) we went. Amanda's labor was difficult with Maira; it was a completely different experience than Callum. Her contractions were intense, but she still did the whole thing without ANY drugs. At all. But when Maira decided to come, she made her entrance QUICKLY! In fact, the doctor who was supposed to deliver her (midwifes are not on call on weekends) didnt make it to the hospital. Maira was delivered by the two nurses and the resident intern, Dr Wardwell. No matter though. She came out crying and screaming, just like she was supposed to. It was a cold day on Sunday morning, and the day led way to a warm air mass that brought, later that afternoon and night (and the next day or so) 2.78 inches of rain. It sucked. Why couldnt it be snow? It was for the rest of the country, it seemed. Throughout the intense portions of Amanda's contractions, the Patriots tore up on the Chicago Bears at Soldier's Field. I am writing this so I can remember this ten years down the road when I look at this blog and reminisce. I teased Amanda about not being able to watch the most classic football scenario ever: A Pats game. It December. At Soldier's field (only to be outdone at Lambeau). In a snowstorm. Where the Pats dominated. Maybe Maira needs a Bears doll or something.....

Literally SECONDS after Maira graced us with her presence....before any of the mucous or yucky birth crap (for lack of a beter word or phrase) was washed off, Amanda wanted to do the all important "skin to skin" time with Maira. This is supposed to be the first chance for mother and baby to bond.....this was also the first photo ever taken of Ms. Maira.
This is the only photo where I think Maira even remotely looks like CS....and it is because of the "goldsmith pout" where they uncovered her to start to clean her off......Maira looks like Maira, in my opinion. If I didnt see her come out, I would think they gave us the wrong baby. I think she looks like NO ONE. She looks like Maira....
On Monday morning, Callum and I had a "guy's breakfast" at the Flatlanda' (of course) and then went to Flo's Flower Cart to get mommy a nice arrangement. Callum picked out a flower for his sister, and he selected a purple rose, which he carried up through the hospital, marched into room 308, immediately dumped it in the bassinet, and said "this is for you my baby sister."Callum also brought Maira his favorite Nutcracker ornament (seen below) and threw that in the crib too....as a gift for her....
Callum and Maira. He loves having her on his lap. "She is warm, daddy."
George took this one of me. As you can see, I rushed from church and didnt even change. I dressed for the occasion.....

The Stockings were hung....

Well, we actually dont have the stockings up yet. In fact, I dont think we even have stockings. But all the rest of our decorations are up, and our house looks so festive. We decorated very early this year, since we thought our little girl would come early...but, alas, she is almost a week overdue. Typical woman. Huh?

Here is a shot of our "grand staircase" complete with the lights Amanda got from QVC this year...she intertwined them with the holly and berries she already had. And let's not forget my favorite things in the world: the antique German nutcrackers on the steps!!

And our beautiful tree, all decorated. The picture doesnt really do it justice, but I think this is the nicest shaped tree we have ever had; it is perfect for ornaments, and it fills our living room nicely. And of course there is Callum, on the couch, watching Rudolph for the 131st time. Today.
BaBa, as I have mentioned before, is quite the woodworker, and over the years we have accrued a steady supply of BaBawood products. Below are the MERRY CHRISTMAS blocks he made for us a few years ago. In front of those is Callum's "Russian Doll" of all the nativity characters. He loves putting these things together and taking them apart! And let's not forget the Menorah from Papa, that Callum thinks is a jazz music instrument. And, as I have also mentioned before, our manger scene is made from horse husbandry equipment; Amanda's old friend from college has a dad who has a "tack shop" where he makes saddles and horseshoes. The nativity characters are made from horseshoe tacks....
The "Classical Christmas Specials" DVD has become Callum's go-to "thing" this holiday seasons. We never thought anything could take the place of Charlie Brown....but Rudolph runs a close second....
And new this year on the Christmas scene in the Goldsmith house are the two "soldiers" we got from BaBawoodworks last year....he did not make the Santa....THAT is from QVC. Of course....haha
It is definitely strange being home while school is going on; I made Wednesday my last day in anticipation of the baby. But she doesnt seem to be in a rush to do anything! I dont blame her in a way; it is COLD out. Our stove is running overtime; it was 3 this morning. That is the coldest yet. BUT, I am still going to go run 5 miles now, so see ya......

Well, here we are

SteveeCee, Emma, and Callum trudge through BaBa's 'back 40' the day after Thanksgiving, going to play in some big piles of leaves.....One of the FUNNY FACES Callum makes

Face to face....a couple of Silver Spoons.....


Remember that show? But here we are waiting for the little girl to be born. She still does not have a name. I really think we will need to meet her first, to see her personality and to see her whole presence and what she looks like. Amanda's due date came and went yesterday, and, as expected, nothing happened. Some contractions, but they are few and far between. I am making tomorrow MY last day at school; I will take the next week and a half off, then go back a couple of days before vacation....

Everything is all set for the little girl. Now she just needs to get here!

Nothing else to report. Over and out......

sweaters and trees and such and such

Now that Amanda is due ANY MINUTE with our little girl, Callum and I often get up and do stuff in the morning on weekends--in order that Amanda can sleep in a little bit. We like to put on our cool Irish sweaters and go promenading around town, looking at girls.....

Callum is wearing a sweater his Grammy made him. If you blow this up you can see the firetruck "buttons" which Callum loves. My sweater has been around for a while--it is one of the Eddie Bauer sweaters I got the winter I was diagnosed with cancer. I remember that only because that was a REALLY cold winter (the winter of 96) and I used to joke with my doctors that the thing I was looking forward to the most was going home and wearing a big comfy and warm sweater....and NOT a hospital johnny.

Today, by the way, is in fact my 14th year anniversary of being in remission from lymphoma. So I thought it was appropriate that I wear this. So this sweater is 14 years old! Try keeping anything that long from LL Crap!!
Callum is changing and changing and changing every single day. We are having HUGE problems with him lately, as he DOES NOT want to stay in bed. We put him to bed, and he IMMEDIATELY gets up and comes to the foot of the stairs. He is silent because he knows he is doing something "bad." But when you finally see him, he tries to make us believe he has already slept for the night, and can thus watch another Charlie Brown. OR, he stalls unbelievably, and asks questions that have nothing to do with anything: "what is on your shirt daddy?" or "have you seen my white bunny rabbit daddy?" or "so what have you been doing today, mommy?"

On the other hand, however, he is continually creative and hilarious. His new routine, as seen at bottom, involved dragging his chair and my bongos into the kitchen, getting his two conducting "batons" from the kitchen drawer (white stirring spoons) and alternating between conducing the Nutcracker album playing on the iPod, or drumming along to the beat of Vince Guaraldi classics from Charlie Brown Christmas Album.....Also, he brings his dreidel along for good measure. Papa got him a singing dreidel. Oh, thanks Papa!
Yesterday afternoon we went to pick out and cut our Christmas tree. A great tradition and experience, but this is the last year we will do it this way we think. 30 dollars is the starting price for these trees now. We think that is a bit much. Instead, we'll plant some balsams or blue spruce trees over at Springpond (oh, by the way Lynne and George, can we do that?) and in six years we will have a steady supply. Until then, we'll hike out back of BaBa's and Grampy's house (our our new place if we move soon and have some woods) can cut a tree down.
Snoopy came along too! And why not? And I dont know if you can tell, but it was snowing lightly....
And here I am, cutting it down. Tonight we brought it into the house. It is in the stand. Tomorrow, for "Monday Funday," we will decorate it.
We are supposed to get a snowstorm tomorrow. Let's see what happens. All we ever seem to get in central Maine is rain. The fake Maine (york county) always seems to get slammed. That, and Rangeley. I hope we get TONS of snow this year

Harlem Rockets!

(these pictures formatted kind of small....I dont know why...)

The Harlem Rockets are a basketball team from...well....Harlem.. They are akin to the Harlem Globetrotters in the sense that they are "entertainment and showtime basketball." These guys--and this whole night--was a HOOT. Many of these Rockets are former Globetrotters (I guess being a Globetrotter is a TON of work and a HUGE commitment...and these guys have families now). They are all fantastic basketball players PLUS they are showmen.

The Winslow High School basketball booster's club held a fundraiser where the WHS "all stars" played the Harlem Rockets in a full game. This happened on the Friday after Thanksgiving. For some reason, they consider me an "all star." So they asked me. But perhaps "all star" is defined as "one who sucks at sports." Cuz I rule at that. At any rate, my former student Mel is a fantastic photographer who is gifted at capturing moments as they happen. She is like a writer. Only with a camera. And stuff. Since I am her favorite, she snapped lots of pics of me (haha). The first one--up above--I absolutely LOVE....Callum giving me a kiss for good luck before the second half....

Look at this jump shot.....I gots skillz!!!
yo playa-hata....this is MY house....give me that ball, fool!

I wonder if you can guess how this shot went for me.......
Obviously, there was some trash talking.....and I may have asked some of the Rockets (on several occasions) if they wanted a piece of "dis." To which they replied, "no....I'm trying to cut down on my saturated fats...."
Friend, running partner, and fellow class advisor Lori and I had a great time. I've often mentioned Lori (and her husband Trevor) on here...but here, finally, is what she looks like....
Racking them up, and knocking them down. Straight up hip-hop style, like
Surprisingly, Callum absolutely was ENTHRALLED with this whole shindig. He really, really loves basketball. And he loved the Rockets because they were hilarious. And he really loved watching me play. He is constantly asking now to go to my school to watch me play basketball again. And when Amanda and Callum brought me coffee from Hillman's the other day, he was puzzled as to why I was wearing a shirt and tie...and not a tank top. Yes Callum. I play basketball for a living. Wouldnt that be something....