What's up with the weather?

Our really pretty (but totally slumping this year) meteorologist Kelly Lebreque.....

Callum loves Sonya Lee....
Oliver Ames High School class of 1996 alum Josh Nichols....a meteorologist working for NBC in New York. I wonder if he sucks too....

I hate to be so cliche with the title, but seriously: What is going on with the weather in Maine?? Statistically, this has been the warmest February on record, and the Portland Jetport is only reporting .06 inch of precipitation for the month of February (that is Portland...an hour north, in Fairfield, we have had NO precipitation).

Weather always seems to be the "go-to" conversation starter for people, and it seems as if everyone always has something to say about it. Lately, the weather has become the third largest religion in the United States (after Christian and Islam). "The Church of Al Gore of Global Warming Day Saints" is now the third largest religion....even beating out Judaism. Personally, I don't believe in global warming at all, and think that all these morons should be charged with crimes against humanity for the way they use scare tactics to petrify the American public, and thus make more money for themselves. The whole thing is a hoax. But I digress....

Being a meteorologist in Maine has to no doubt be a tough gig--you've got all kinds of weather patterns, and serve a state affected by "lake effect" snow, arctic fronts, and funky stuff going on with the Bay of Fundy, the Gulf of Maine, and other weird tidal things. Still, this year, the Maine meteorologists resemble, to me, the New England Patriots of the early 1990s....they cannot get ONE THING right. I know people always come down on the weatherman, but this is ridiculous! It is to the point now where I dont even watch (nor listen to) the weather. Without even thinking about it or doing research, I can think of THREE storms on which they totally "screwed the pooch." And then, sometimes, when snow isnt even a CONSIDERATION, we get snow (in fact, our greatest snow event of the year wasnt even forecast...it happened the week after that infamous "New Years Storm" that everyone got so worried about for nothing). Just last week, in fact, we were supposed to get 4-8 inches (actually, Fairfield was right on the 4-8 and the 8-10 line). We. Got. Absolutely .Nothing. Not even a flake.

And what do the weatheridiots do? They blame it on the "computer models" "Well, the computer models were all mashed on this one, so we couldnt really tell...." Well get a new computer! Here we are in 2010. I dont profess to know a lot about science....but it seems to me that there should no longer be any excuse for not being able to tell the weather. Heck...if you can"control it" you might as well be able to "predict it." Weathermen suck this year. As I've said before: The only job in the world where you can suck and be wrong ALL THE TIME and ALWAYS be justified to blame it on something else.

I think that (in Boston anyway) that is why they have so many hot weather-girls; they are harder to be mad at. All we have is Kevin Mannix.....

Because of our lack of a winter, I am definitely not looking forward to spring. I always looked forward to spring because, as New Englander (and especially as a Maine transplant), I always felt as if I had "earned" spring. It was something like a reward for, as Claudius says in Act 1 of HAMLET, "persevering in obstinate condolement." This year, I didnt earn anything. I hardly had to shovel, I didnt have to go out in blizzards to get more wood, I had no ice dams to break up on my roof, I only fell and hurt my butt once, and my hands are barely cracked from sub-zero temps. I even shaved my beard off a month ago! This spring, I'm afraid I'll feel just like all the other freeloaders....we didnt do anything to deserve spring

But snow is in the forecast for this week......