Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sports Team Logo/Mascot Meanderings....

1. The Buffalo Bills are the only team where the LOGO is a personification of the CITY in which the team plays

2. The Steelers and Packers are interesting in that they are two teams whose name describes an OCCUPATION. That is in the NFL. But what about others? MLB Mariners, NHL Edmonton Oilers....??

3. The Buccaneers and Raiders honor and celebrate piracy, murder, rape, and pillaging. Will there be a Muslim Extremist team in fifty years? How come no one ever makes a stink like they do for the Redskins or the Braves? Pirates killed many innocent white people. Just saying

4. How many teams in the NFL involving FLYING things? Jets, Seahawks, Falcons, Eagles (are they still a team? haha), Ravens

5. Cowboys and Patriots are logos that describe a LIFESTYLE or avocation (versus a blue collar paying job like a Packer or Steel worker).

6. The Patriots are the only team I can think of which is dedicated to a "cause"--a 'patriot' is someone dedicated to their country, home, or culture

7. The liberals forced the Washington Bullets to change their name because "bullets" were too violent. But they are fine with them being the Washington "Wizards?" Wizards can often do more harm than a bullet can--wizards can cast spells and control your mind and THEN kill you. Plus, let's not forget how the term "wizard" can offend the religious community, right?

8. What two sports team describe a style of music? the NHL St Louis Blues, and the Utah Jazz

9. What sports teams describe natural cataclysmic events? NBA Thunder, NHL Avalanche and Lightning

10. So the Houston Oilers moved to Tennessee and had to change their name because there is no oil in Tennessee....so they changed their name to the Titans? What the heck is a Titan? Isnt that a huge giant or something? Are there Titans in Tennessee?

11. I have to give credit for this to my colleague Keenan: If the Patriots are the "Pats" and the Buccaneers are the "Bucs," then what could we nickname the Titans?

12 Canadians are terrible and unimaginative at naming their teams: The Blue Jays? What a wussy bird. The "Maple Leafs" are, as far as I can tell, the only sports team named after any type of plant. And not even an intimidating one--like a cactus or Venus Fly trap or something. And then...when Canadians run out of the those lame ideas, they just call their teams nicknames for the people who live there, like the Quebec Nordiques or the Vancouver Canucks. Wow. Lots of imagination there guys. That is like an American team called the "United States AMericans" or the "New England New Hampshirites" or the Washington Nationals or the New York Mets or something....oh wait....

13. Lastly, baseball is definitely the wussiest sport when it comes to mascots and logos. First of all, we have two teams named after socks. Then, look at the animals they use--completely unintimidated birds: The Blue Jays? The Cardinals? The Orioles? Has anyone ever been attacked by an oriole? And the Angels? The Padres? The Dodgers? All entities that make it their life's work to AVOID physical confrontation if possible--heck, what else does a "Dodger" do but....well....dodge?


3 comments:

tk said...

No commentary on the teams of your adopted homeland, England? Such as Tottenham Hotspur? Aston Villa? West Bromwich Albion?

Goldsmith said...

THOSE ARE SOME FUNNY NAMES!!!!!!

#bangersonthelorry

Mike Hein said...

Jared - You touched on it a bit, but think a bit more about team name changes when they move between cities.

Sure, some teams change their mascot names (the Oklahoma City Thunder were the Seattle SuperSonics, the Minnesota NorthStars became the Atlanta Thrashers [who then went out of business], etc.) and some teams don't (the Dodgers moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles, the Colts moved from Baltimore to Indianapolis, etc).

What I find interesting, though, are the teams that move, and do not change their mascot name despite it no longer making any sense in their new city. I can think of at least two examples, both in the NBA: the Minneapolis Lakers (where there are 10,000 lakes) moved to Los Angeles (where there are no lakes) and the New Orleans Jazz (duh, there's a whole lot of jazz played in New Orleans) moved to Utah (where not one note of jazz has ever been played, um, ever). Yet, we don't necessarily think: "Utah Jazz, wonder what that's all about?"

Finally, what's up with the utter non-creativity of sports teams using basic colors for their mascots? The Cleveland Browns, the Syracuse Orange, the Stanford Cardinal (the color cardinal red, not the bird), the North Texas Mean Green, etc? How do you even support or root for a color?