Children....

So I had originally set out to do this post about a charity basketball game in which I played a couple of weeks ago--the parents volunteering for Project Grad had a faculty vs students game at the high school, and I was asked to play. I both hate--and suck at--basketball. It is by far my least favorite sport. But I went and had some fun. But, as I was posting these pics, I realized my heart wasnt really into writing about this. 

Part of why I keep this blog is to reflect back on things that were on my mind at any given time of my life, and there has certainly been stuff on my mind lately. But, let me put the pictures first for the folks who like pictures....

Oh yeah...the faculty totally kicked the seniors' asses....

You see these pictures of my children? They have been weighing on my mind lately--in very emotional ways. Recently, friends of ours just lost their infant son--to be specific, the mom carried the baby for about 24 weeks (all but 2 of those weeks were uncomplicated by placenta tears, constant bedrest, etc). She delivered it--labor and all--only to have it live for an hour. It was named, held baptized, and loved....and then it died. There are few things in the world that can make me cry publicly (everyone knows I am an emotional basketcase...but I usually keep emotions to myself in private...), but one that does is the devastating loss of a child. It just seems like lately I have been surrounded by wonderful folks who, for whatever reason, have stories and situations and complications with loss--all involving children. One of my good friends and colleagues at school lost her son to a freakish traffic accident when he was 6--he was hit by a truck and died. Callum is about to turn six and just trying to imagine life without him just gives me nightmares. This friend has been on my mind lately because, almost 5 years after this has happened, she has finally come to terms with what she wants inscribed on his gravestone.

 I just cannot fathom losing a child. Many will remember that when Callum was born he had TWO tight knots in his umbilical cord...this, according to the doctor, happens in less than 1% of newborns...and most of them die. Devastating. Amazing. Being the selfish individual that I am, I far too often take for granted just how blessed we are to have had two healthy conceptions, pregnancies, and births. And, also, I take for granted how healthy and happy Callum and Maira have been throughout their lives. Another thing on my mind lately are the several friends who are just having complication after complication trying to GET pregnant in the first place.  How frustrating it must be to WANT children and not be able to do so. I really feel this stuff happens more than we think it does, and many suffer silently.

At any rate, my kids have been on my mind a lot lately. I love them more than the human capacity for emotion can convey. And my biggest fear is that they may have no clue--but my biggest hope is that someday they will. I just wanted to remind myself today of how blessed I am to have these two goofballs (and their gorgeous and nurturing mother too!) in my life.....