Who needs cell phones???

When I was a high school student, we used our MINDS and our intellectual prowess to sustain us through the dismal days of cantankerous teachers dishing out work and chronically boring lectures that rambled on and on and on. We didnt need technology, and we certainly didnt "text" each other, like today's high school kids do all class. Here are some of the ways we used to waste time/entertain ourselves through those "dark days."

1. Tic Tac Toe: Of Course!! This is a lost art. There are actually strategies to win. Did you know that?

2. M.A.S.H.: Do you remember? "Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House." There were some other rules about counting that ultimately determined if you'd be a doctor or an assistant crack whore. But I cant remember how to play it. Can any of you? I just remember it being REALLY popular!

3. Chinese Football: Take out your trapper keeper, tear out a piece of MEAD notebook paper, and fold it up until its a "structurally sound" triangle of folded beauty. Then, connect your thumb tips together to make a human goal post, and practice flicking field goals on the field (which was usually Mr. Varella's lab table).

4. Pencil Battleship: Fold a piece of paper in half. On the top half, you make a bunch of random dots in random locations. Now, your partner needs to fold the paper in half (so he is actually writing on the back side of the paper). Then, HE makes a bunch of dots (and he has to bear down really hard). Done? Unfold the paper. Did he make any of his dots within an inch of yours? If so, he "hit" you, and he gets a point. Kind of like a "Battleship" for kids without the monetary resources.

5. Paper Flower: I could never fold this like Kiesha Wright could--she was a genius at this. Another paper game, where a piece of notebook paper is folded into a three dimensional "flower," and on each "petal" is a word or number or something. Do you remember? This brilliant and clairvoyant paper flower had the ability to predict how many children you would have, and what type financial status you'd achieve!

6. Three dimensional letters: Write your name. Or your friends. I remember the letter "S" was really cool to make (you could do it all with interconnected straight lines).

7. "Ummm" counting: Particularly witih Mrs. Margarite. She had the dubious "talent" of hedging everything she said with about a half a dozen "ums." We'd not listen to an actual thing she said (usually, it was talking about moles or Avagadro's number or something). Rather, we'd just count the number of times she said "umm" in a given class. Remarkable.

8. "Single day is silent day" Everyone knows that science teachers only really teach four classes--not five like "full time" teachers. But they "hide" their fifth class as a "lab," and every other day, they have a "double" class where the kids stay longer so they can measure water, light matches, and set up metal stands. But on the "single" days--they days without a lab--we'd play a game where we absolutely COMMITTED to staying quiet NO MATTER WHAT. No talking whatsoever. The teacher liked this--sometimes. But that meant that when she asked a question, no one would answer. And when she called on us, we wouldnt answer her. Damien Sadberry once paid the ultimate price, and was the inevitable silent day champion: Margarite told him that if he didnt answer the question, he would be sent to the office. He chose the latter. Damien Sadberry: a true high school casualty who "took one of the boys."

9. Secret Word: The class picks a "secret word" (aka Pee Wees playhouse) and when the teacher SAYS that word, we all give that teacher a standing ovation. Every time they say it.

10. Quarter Hockey: Using a quarter and a lab table, we fashioned a mock "air hockey" table and used our fingers to try and flick a quarter into the "goal" we fashioned out of pencils.

11. The Penis Game: Ah yes. Who could forget? This is a game not for the faint of heart. One kid says the word "penis" very softly. The next kid (this is a voluntary game) is charged with saying it louder. The next kid, should he choose to continue playing, says it even LOUDER....and so on. The GOAL, of course, is to be the one to say it the loudest--and NOT get caught by the teacher.

12. Notes: The art of note folding--long before cell phones, we relied on old fashioned WRITTEN notes. With PENS.

13. "If your hand is bigger than your face, then you have cancer": No real explanation needed. But how many people could you get to do it?

14: Are you PT??: A Sophie's choice kind of question: If you say NO, then "you're not potty trained." If you say YES, then "you're a pregnant teenager."

15. Humming: Strength in numbers: In unison, the class would all (keeping their mouths closed of course) hum one continuous long and sustained low note. This drove the teacher CRAZY since a) you couldnt tell who was doing it because everyone's mouth was closed b) they couldnt single out one kid because everyone was involved c) they couldnt "prove" any one student was doing it because mouths were closed and everyone was humming and d) the sound is incredibly annoying

We ruled in high school!!