School Lunch

click on this above for a stroll down memory lane.....


 I'm actually pretty surprised there isnt a book about there about "school lunch culture." It just seems to me that school lunch has taken on sort of a mythical-iconographic-polarizing-cultish sort of feeling over the last 50 years or so, and someone should definitely pay homage to it through a brightly photographed coffee-table sort of book. Dont you think? As a teacher in a public school now for 12 years, I can tell you that there IS a culture of 'school lunch.' And, as someone who WENT to public schools, I can tell you that it has indeed changed. A LOT.

School lunch is an absolute joke now--overpriced, low grade, SUPER low portions. It is amazing to think of why adolescents today are so overweight when you simply look at what they give you for school lunch. And now, due to some new federal initiative, kids are completely COMPELLED to take two servings of fruit/vegetables. They are forced to do this--even if they dont eat it. They can literally look the lunch lady (has there ever been a lunch 'man??' Ever??) in the eye and say "I dont want this and I am not eating it" and it doesnt even matter. Even if they take five steps towards the trashcan  and throw the vegetables away, at least they 'took' them. And the feds are fine with that.

 

But I digress. What are some ICONIC lunch foods that would make it into my book? Ravioli, definitely. This is perhaps the most quintessential lunch food I can think of. Tater tots perhaps. Macaroni and cheese. FOOT LONG hotdogs (literally the only place I ever saw these when I was a kid was at the Center School Cafe). Sloppy Joes. 'Breakfast for lunch.' I think I have to give public schools mad props for, if not inventing this concept, truly capitalizing on it. What better way to create ethos with the kids to whom you serve by showing that you are indeed a 'wild and mixed up cool adult' who defies conformity and says TO HECK WITH LUNCH! LET'S EAT PANCAKES AND BACON!! Kids love this stuff. Right? I welcome you to list some other foods you think to be CLASSIC school cafeteria style stuff.

On certain AMAZING days, when truly the planetary constellations aligned, my mom would see fit in her infinite kindness to give me an extra 75 cents for DOUBLE LUNCH. Kids today dont have an appreciation for how amazing the idea of double lunch was. When you got double lunch, you were king of the cafeteria. For a 20 minute block of time, you were akin to the kid on the street who first got Nintendo or something. It was that awesome. And if you were blessed enough to get not only double lunch, but also ICE CREAM, then you had your pick of any girl in your grade. And she would marry you. Double lunch was so awesome--you got 12 chicken nuggets, man!!! Good. Old. Days.

I love all the cute little "colloquialisms" they gave some of their meal items--and they worked because we kids were too stupid to see through their true intentions. First, we had "chef's choice." First of all, nothing even resembling 1/8th of a 'chef' has ever set foot in a school cafeteria. But that is besides the point. They created the element of 'surprise' by keeping kids guessing what type of surprise this could be. When, in reality, "chef's choice" was just double speak for "we've got tons of unused hamburger from taco day...let's crush it all up with the shells and give a taco pie" or something. Same with the word "assorted," as in "assorted desserts." As any person with half a brain will tell you, 'assorted' means 'leftovers.'

My mom could shed light on some of this stuff. For a while back in the day, she worked in the Center School Cafeteria. Perfect mother's hours. I'd be interested to hear her take. But, alas, she doesnt read this blog cuz it isnt facebook.....