Why I Hate the Playground

Waterville, even though they have the worst mayor in Maine, is home to one of the best playgrounds around--the North Street Playground. It is resplendent in its cleanliness, its visibility, and its equipment. It sits on the campus of the Alfond Youth Center on one side, and the beautiful Messalonskee Stream on the other. It is one of Callum's favorite places as of late.

And I detest going there.

I hate the playground, and it isnt because I hate spending time with my son and doing things that make him happy; rather, I hate the playground because it represents all the morals, values, and vocabulary that I DONT want him to embrace. Plus, it is a bastion for really, really bad parenting--particularly that of the "fatherly" variety.

All over facebook and all these other social media types of places there are countless "cut and paste" statuses, etc. that pay homage to mothers: "A mother is the most important job in in the world...what mothers go through is harder than what Navy SEALS go through, and yada yada yada." Yet, there is still this double standard "stigma" against fathers as the football watching, inept, clueless, cookless, cleanless individuals who are always looking for reasons to get out of doing stuff with their kids and wives....and leaving to go to a bar with friends, etc. If you dont believe me, watch any TV commercial or sitcom. For a man to show sensitivity/compassion/love to his son (or any other little boy, for that matter), clearly that man must be "gay" or a pedophile.

Being a father is the most amazing thing I've ever done, and I hate going to the playground at North Street because it just reinforces all the cultural stereotypes of parents (mostly fathers) who could really give two craps about their kids or what their kids are doing. It is a white trash paradise, and I see more wife-beater shirt wearing guys at North Street Playground than I do in most mafia films. I do "social experiments" each time I am there--I count how many kids have names like "Destiny" or "Tyeisha" or something else that is white trash sounding. I count how many parents are sitting on benches or not even remotely looking at their kids. And I count how many dads are texting or on cell phones while their kids are trying to get their attention from the top of the slides. Two days ago when I brought Callum there, there were seven other fathers beside myself, and EACH ONE was on his cell phones while their bratty kids ran around and terrorized other kids....or were just total tools striving to get the attention of their dads.

The other day at school, this idiot in a truck pulls up beside me at 714 in the morning and says "hey bro, my kid needs to go to the 'second grader' school....which school is dat and how does I get dere?" Seriously? Your kid has gone to Kindergarten, first grade, and one term of second grade at the same place...and you dont even know where that IS?? Why do some men fail to be fathers? It really pisses me off, and when I think of the kids being affected, it makes me want to cry (sorry Tim).

I'm proud to be a dad and just cannot possibly understand why some guys continually suck at life when it comes to being a man. Get off your damn cell phone that you're using welfare checks to pay bills on and go ask your kid about their day. Since you never made it past second grade yourself, you might actually learn something. It is time for guys to "take back" fatherhood and stop letting culture dictate how we are perceived to be. Sick of it. I love it when I talk about cleaning something around the house, and a woman says "uh oh...you must be trying to make up for something bad!" And If I get another "totally shocked" look when someone finds out that I cook dinner each night, that someone is going to get a punch in the shin. White trash style.

Oh no he di-ent!!!