It has been very disappointing not being to coach this year--but the pros of being with my kids, getting Killim off the bus, and taking Mara to dance class far outweigh the cons of not coaching.. But I DO miss it. At any rate, the team asked me to go with them and run in the Mt Blue Relays last Friday--this is always my favorite race, because I can run it #glorysports #shadesofJay. It is fun and coaches are welcome to participate in the gorgeous, but hilly 2.2 mile course. Mt Blue High School, for those not in Maine, is right by Farmington, at the onset of the western Maine mountains/foothills. It is high up on a hill itself, and the foliage, view, and ancient apple orchard make for a wonderfully aesthetic event. But it was kind of chilly. And after I ran (I had to wear the singlet and the little shortzzzzz) I got cold. And, for the first time this season, my Raynaud's set in--it attacked my hands. I dont know if the picture does it justice, but can you tell how WHITE and void of any blood whatsoever my hands are? What a pain...literally!!

 It is only gonna get worse....

Perhaps the best song I have ever heard about raising kids (and I dont even know if the song is necessarily ABOUT raising kids) is Joni's Mitchell's "Chinese Cafe/Unchained Melody." I find myself going back to this song from time to time, adjusting certain lyrics to certain stages at which I find my kids. Even though I am neither a mom nor a woman, I go back to this lyric:

Christmas is sparkling
Out on Carol's lawn
This girl of my childhood games
With kids nearly grown and gone
Grown so fast
Like the turn of a page
We look like our mothers did now
When we were those kids' age
Nothing lasts for long
Nothing lasts for long
Nothing lasts for long

Each day, it seems, I know my kids more and more, yet less and less....does that make sense? In the most loving way possible, I fully admit that I often, simply, do not understand them. Like the turn of a page.......

I just try to enjoy each and every moment. Like times in the library, above, with Maira, reading GREEN EGGS AND HAM in the children's room of the Lawrence Library--a fantastic place. She has moods more mercurial than the ocean tempests, and if I can find her in a calm moment, I'll exploit the hell out of it....

Also, last Saturday, there were cyclocross races at the Quarry Road, where we trail-run raced this summer. Cyclocross is AWESOME to watch....like road bikes with mountain bike tires...mud....trails...running....falling....and more. FAST riding. The kids brought their bikes too, and enjoyed some of the trails....

I look at this picture of my son and I ask myself: Who the heck IS this? Yesterday I washed him in a light pink plastic tub on the dining room table; I had to put A & D ointment on his belly button. Now, when we play soccer and sprint, I, for the first time, actually have to put forth some effort if I want to beat him. It will be a matter of weeks before he is stronger and faster than me....