second post of the day

Callum's laughter!

Callum's Meet and Greet

Before I write anything, let me say this: I didnt end up taking that many pictures this weekend. I meant to, but it got so busy with everyone at my mom's, that I basically just forgot to take photos. In fact, these five are the only ones I took--and they're pretty random. Perhaps the Favry's took some pictures and will post them (?)

So we went to Mass this weekend where, at the "condo clubhouse," there was an open house type of thing so Callum's "extended family" could meet him. Its hard to believe that, aside from his grandparents and Aunt and Uncle, no one on my mom or dad's side had met the little guy yet. Saturday was actually a pretty rough day for Callum--first of all, he spent about 4.5 hours in his car seat, only to arrive at Nannie's house to have everyone want to hold him, love him, and kiss him. On one hand, its good for Callum to get used to seeing other people and have other people handle him, etc. But on the other hand, I think it was a little overwhelming for him! I mean, its a lot for him to travel like that. The ride back, last night, was nothing short of miserable, since we STILL hit traffic in Boston (at freakin 6:00 on a Sunday night!!!!) and Callum did nothing but scream for two hours. A busy weekend for him. But a great chance for him to meet his family. It didnt help him, of course, that I think he has caught whatever "bug" his Daddy has--both of us have felt miserable all weekend. But at least today he is napping a lot.

Here's one of the rare moments from Saturday when Callum wasnt crying. Uncle Anthony helps Callum chew on his frozen penguin.....


A few of my buddies came by to visit for a while--Jay and Jenn, Timmy, and Tore and Mi Hyun. Here is a picture of Amanda with Stephanie and Mi Hyun. An interesting sidenote: Mi Hyun had NEVER held a baby in her life--she explained how she has NO experience with them. Obviously, she was asking Amanda lots of questions (perhaps she and Tore are thinking kids?????). But she was consistently afraid to take Callum, since she didnt want to make him cry. However, she ended up being the only person all day to hold Callum--and not make him cry. Interesting.
And here he is with his "other twin," Papa Goldsmith. We also got to see Papa again yesterday, and a great lunch at George's Restaurant in Brockton--the "City of Champions."
My cousin Leah holding Callum. Leah used to babysit me when I was little, so it was so weird for her to be holding "my" baby. I think it made her feel old. But she shouldnt! Leah used to come over my mom's a lot when she was a kid, usually making my mom nauseous with the grape chewing gum she always had. As a result, I was never allowed to chew "grape" gum as a kid. So now I am ALL about rebellion.
And Callum and his Nannie. Yesterday morning, before we went to Papa's, Nannie, Callum, and PB played "foot rattles" on the living room floor. Callum loves his foot rattles! I'm glad he was happy yesterday, so at least Papa and Nannie got to see some of his great smiles before he left to go home to Maine. And now we are exhausted......

The Best Post Season EVER

I love the postseason in baseball more than any other sport that exists, and I'll tell you why. First of all, as a former pitcher (and current hurling fan), the pitching performances that manifest themselves during the postseason are nothing short of unbelievable; we see the best throwing that baseball has to offer. Period. Second of all, EVERY win is a dramatic win. Nothing is "given" away in playoff baseball; everything is fought for--until the bitter end. Finally, baseball has a longer season than most other sports (well, hockey has a pretty long season, but hockey who cares about the NHL?). Baseball players might just be the only professional sports players out there who actually come close to earning the money they make (not that ANYONE deserves more than 50K for playing a GAME....but that's a different story). The battle it out from, essentially, the end of winter in April, to the onset of winter in late October. Unlike football players, who show up once a week only, baseball players are out there sometimes five days a week. Its ALMOST like they have real jobs!!!!

This postseason, in my opinion, showcases the best teams anyone could ask for. Obviously, the Red Sox will win the World Series....but I'd really be happy with ANY of the four teams winning; its an ideal postseason schedule. For the first time I can remember, there are no "hateable" teams competing--and there are hardly any "attitudes" (except for Manny of course). I'm a life long Sox fan, and that pretty much goes without saying. And even though I hope they crush the Rays, you've got to love the Cinderella story that exists with Tampa Bay--they have gone from the "armpit" of the MLB to the best team in baseball. And they've done it in classy fashion...they havent gone out and bought their team--they've meticulously rebuilt it over the past several years. And its finally come to fruition. And I like the manager's glasses. As far as the Phillies, they are my National league team, and have been ever since I married into a Philadelphia family--all of Amanda's family adores the Phillies, and Amanda has very fond memories of getting Mike Schmidt autographs when she was a girl. They're a classic American team who havent been to the big show since 1994, when they lost to UNAMERICANS (Bluejays)!!! What an insult! They are due. And as far as LA is concerned, I love them because that's where all "shafted" Red Sox go to play--they're like a "Red Sox Retirement" team. I love the Sox, and I always will, but, in my opinion, the front office hasnt always treated the players with respect (a one Bronson Arroyo comes to mind). Grady Little, the scapegoat of 03, coached there, only to be replaced by one of the classiest men in the game--Joe Torre. I can't stand Manny, but they've got Nomar (another scapegoat) and Derek Lowe, who basically WON the world series for the Sox in 04, and then got the boot. He is undoubtedly my favorite former Red Sox player, and I wish him the best. He's one of the few ballplayers who plays with 100% heart, and I love watching his sinker work.

Okay Jay, Tim, John, and Mike.....let me have it

Hump Day Evening Post

I can only post five pictures with any given blogger post, so it obviously makes it difficult to choose! We take SO MANY photos of our little guy, our home, our life, etc, and its a real "editor-like" process to choose what goes on the hallowed "Goldsmith5" post. However, we do post ALL our pictures on Snapfish, and if you'd like to see those, email me at jngoldsmith@hotmail.com and I can then tell Amanda to make it happen for you, since, just like everything else around here, she runs the show with that.

Callum is getting all geared up for his big trip to Mass this weekend for his "meet and greet." Surprisingly enough, most of Callum's extended family has yet to meet him, since they all live down in Mass. So, his Nannie is hosting a little party on Saturday afternoon, where Callum will most likely be passed around like a bong at a Phish concert (did you just compare your son to a BONG?? You should be ashamed of yourself!!) Also, Amanda and I are looking forward to seeing people we havent seen in a good while. And Callum is REALLY excited to feel Auntie's stomach, and hopefully feel the little baby Favry peanut kicking around. More on that this weekend.

Susan, Eric, Jackson, and Lexi stopped by for a visit last Sunday; Lexi has changed so much already! I thought I'd post of picture of the two "Yummy Mummys." Sarah Palin was unavailable for the photo shoot. HA HA. Besides being beautiful women, both Sue and Amanda have that certain "glow" about them....dont you think? Oh, and since Amanda was out at Michelle's bridal shower on Sunday morning, "I" got him dressed in his new Osh Gosh overalls! Too cute.....Notice how Callum is checking out his new girlfriend? "What's up, girly girl??"

Callum's first fire. As we expected, he really is mesmerized by the flames and the colors and the brightness. He sat in his chair just STARING at it. Its going to be a great winter for him. Sadly, however, we were without Thomas lying on his carpet in front of the fire--that has always been a mainstay in the Goldsmith household. Its still so painful not having him. Something is definitely missing here.
Papa Goldsmith sent Callum a cute Halloween card, and, after reading it to Callum, I gave it to him to hold. Naturally, he tried eating it. Immediately. Like father, like son.
Amanda was off today, and she got a picture of Callum just as he was waking up. Our favorite time with him is undoubtedly the morning, since, after a long fruitful sleep, he is SO happy, so alert, and so full of personality. I love his little fleece sleepers. This one says "Forest Friends" on it. Callum has lots of friends. I have to say: he really looks like me in this picture. A lot.
And, lastly, Callum on his "Rainforest Mat." He LOVES this thing, as it plays music, blinks lights, and makes "rainforest sounds" like bugs, birds, etc. We try to stay away from the "ADD inducer" toys that they sell---where there are literally 45 things to do at once. But this is pretty neat. It has monkeys, birds, etc. dangling from a "canopy," and he loves to lay and talk to them. Off to the left, you'll see there is even his MOOSE in this rainforest. Thank Global Warming for that mix up. Look at the curiosity and intrigue in his eyes....I hope he has the love of learning that I had...but I also hope he has more patience to try and figure things out.

Meanderings 40

1. Legos--the company that makes rectangular, hard plastic blocks for children--now has a fruit snack out....that looks exactly like the hard plastic blocks for children. How stupid can Lego be? Kids arent going to know the difference; they're going to start trying to eat the real blocks. Did any of the R&D people at Legos graduate from high school? What a stupid idea.

2. Pringles has a new slogan: "Everything pops with Pringles." Absolutely. Starting with the button of your pants.

3. "Advocate" is just a fancy, educational word for "complain," "piss," and "moan." I love it when people say they "advocate" for themselves. Anyone who "advocates" is usually a pain in the ass.

4. Sometimes, late at night, I smell a skunk who has sprayed in our neighborhood, and I can't help thinking, even if only a "little bit," how skunk smells like coffee. Has anyone else ever thought this?

5. Does it follow that anti-abortion activists inherently do not eat eggs for breakfast? If they did, it would be kind of hypocritical, wouldnt it? So there. If you are against abortion and you eat eggs, then you're a phony. So there.

6. My dad brought this to my attention recently: We hear a lot about "3rd world countries" and how they are plagued with disease, poverty, famine, and underdevelopment. Assumedly, the U.S., China, and Japan are "1st world countries." Right? If so, are there any "2nd world countries?" Are they countries that are just "a little" poor? What is the criteria? Is it like area high schools moving from Class A to Class B and such?

7. A lot of food manufacturers have recently started marketing a "premium" line of their food product--I've seen Pringles "premium," "premium" M&Ms, and "premium" Budweiser Select, just to name a few. Assumedly (the second time I have used this word), the premium line offers the "higher quality" version of the product that many people have been buying for years. How disrespectful is that??!!?? "Thanks for your support over the last 10 years, dear customer....but, to be quite honest with you, we havent been giving you our best. If you want that, you now have to pay more." As a consumer of these products, do you mind this? Do you somehow feel ripped off? I do. I feel cheated.

8. Lately, I've been listening to the Michael Jackson "Thriller" album (Stevee Cee let me burn it), and one song that's caught my ear is "The Girl Is Mine," where Michael sings with Paul McCartney about a girl with whom there is a conflict as to where her fidelity might be. I can't help thinking how, if Michael and Paul were real men worthy of the girl, then they'd fight it out old school style instead of gently crooning to each other under the backdrop of a jazz guitar and some synthesizer drums. Furthermore--and this is for the ladies--would you even WANT a guy who manifests his craving for you by joining the other would be suitor by pairing up for a gentle, adult contemporary "sing off?" Michael and Paul....two words: Boxing Match.

9. Consider this word: "Toast." What a strange word, with such variegated meanings and connotations. There is "toast" as in "crisped bread." Then, if you feel warm, you might say you feel "toasty." Does this mean you feel like bread? Also, you can "give" a toast at a wedding, where you say some kind words, make some stupid jokes, and try not to appear as drunk as you really are (and this version of "toast" is completely different than the other two). Finally, "toast" is what you might call someone whom you plan on beating at something. "Wanna race? OK....but you are TOAST!" Or, "The Patriots TOASTED the 49ers yesterday." Think about that: 4 different meanings for the word toast....have you have thought about that? Not to fear. I do. Because I'm lonely.

On A Brighter Note.....

Thank you so much to EVERYONE who has been so kind and compassionate toward us for our recent loss of Thomas P. Cat. It is especially hard when, every so often, we sort of just "forget" that he's no longer here....as we look for him in his usual places, leave lights on for him when we go out at night, and expect him to be at the door, as usual, when we arrive home. Its hard. It really is.

But, on a brighter note, here are some pictures of the little handsome man known as Callum Stuart Goldsmith. He just brightens our day with all the new "stuff" he is doing, most notably, of course, being the fact that he's "giggling" out loud when his mommy gets silly with him. And he's starting to really react (in a positive way!) to my voice when I sing any one of the "Callum songs" I've written for him--most are just silly, jingly kinds of things--but he loves them!

Does he still look just like me? I see a little Amanda here, no?
"Hey! Who took the last spare rib???"
Last night Chris and Michelle came over for supper, and we decided two things. First of all, it would be PJ night (I thought I heard something else, and I got really excited, but PJs are good too). Second, the menu would consist of "stick to your ribs stuff." With that in mind, Chrishelle brought over a perfect ham, and I concocted some homemade macaroni and cheese. Chris and Michelle were incredibly thoughtful in bringing us THREE framed photographs of Thomas--one of a closeup of his face, one of him in front of the wood stove, and one of them being a huge "collage like" type of frame, with lots of great memories of our cat. We'll each bring one picture to work, and we'll hang the "collage" in Thomas's "room" which is the guest room where he always slept in the sun. Amanda made her signature Swedish Apple Pie, which is a regular during this time of year. It was delicious...especially served with cider from the Apple Farm, and some great vanilla ice cream.
This morning I worked on some firewood, and Amanda and Callum went into Augusta to do some errands. I put Callum in his new plaid flannel shirt, since it was a nice crisp fall day in Maine. This afternoon, we planned on going to Lynne and George's to paddle our canoe in Belgrade Stream, but it was so nice out that we decided to head into the woods instead. As I've written before, Lynne and George have AMAZING trails in back of their house, connecting to beautiful logging roads, and clearly marked snowmobile trails. Amanda and Callum took a walk, and I opted for a trail-running workout--which sure as hell beats running on pavement for a change. I've been doing more running lately since I know my biking days are numbered for the season, and soon I'll have to make the transition to ALL running (and, in the deep winter, swimming too). So I might as well get used to it. It was beautiful back in the woods, and the fall colors are blazing. For dinner, grammy and gramps put out some snacks (as always) and made a cozy sausage, kale, and bean soup. An A+ meal. Tomorrow, Amanda heads off to Michelle's wedding shower, and Callum and I will probably hit a bar someplace. Then, next weekend, Callum sees his Nannie and Papa again! How fun!


"Hey mom, put me down....I'm gonna be late for the Pearl Jam concert!"

Pets will break your heart....

In front of the stove....
He loved to be outside.....
with Auntie Kristie and Chelsea.....
napping with Mommy......
sitting in his widow, keeping watch....

I have the dubious task of letting you all know that this afternoon at about 2:30, we put our beloved cat Thomas P. Goldsmith to sleep. To say that we'll miss him would be the understatement of the year for us; for us he was more than a cat....he was an absolute part of the family. Its funny when you think about it--this relationship we have with our animals. So many people question how anyone can ever get attached to a cat; pop culture tells us dogs are the affectionate beings, and cats just basically use you for food....and thats it. But Thomas was different. Anyone who spent any time with him knows he was more like an actual person than an animal--incessantly purring, always jumping up to sit on your lap, demanding whatever "people food" you are eating, although his wet cat food is mere feet away. From a personal standpoint, Thomas was my "roommate" for a couple of years after I graduated college, and before Amanda and I got married. Those were some difficult times: I hated my job, I hated my apartment, and I hated my life. Yet, every day, Thomas was there to jump up on my lap after a crappy day at a crappy New Hampshire school.

I am not one to outwardly express my less than happy emotions; to see me crying is somewhat of an anomaly. But boy did that change today. What is it about these pets that makes them so gut wrenching to lose? First of all, I think it is the fact that I had to actively and deliberately bring him to the vet's, sign a consent form, and physically walk away from him, leaving him in the vets hands to soon be euthanized. I feel solely responsible for ending his life because, after all, it was my decision. But I think what it is about animals that makes them so apt to break your heart is the fact that they cannot speak; they can't communicate with you on an interpersonal level. Thus, we "invent" moods for them to "be," and we imagine them thinking thoughts and playing roles that suit our purposes. This language barrier allows us to think the animals are "saying" whatever we want to them to say--and they never disagree with us, and they almost never talk back. Its crazy but its true.

Losing a pet is like stopping a fantasy....or ending a dream. I've found myself, already, no less than 4 times, "looking" for Thomas around the house this afternoon, wondering where he's sleeping, hoping he's not getting into any mischief. I feel stupid every time I realize he's not actually there--and never will be again. How is it that this 7 pound animal (he had lost a lot of weight from his illness) can make a 240 pound one cry like a baby?

We'll probably get another cat, but not right now. Its too soon. We need to try to "mourn" Thomas, if you will, for a while. The final straw, says the vet, was in fact a type of lymphoma--metastasizing around his kidneys. He just wasnt himself--he hadnt eaten in four days, he peed anywhere he needed to (his bladder was HUGE), he drooled a stinky liquid, he couldnt jump up on the bed, couch, or chair, and he couldnt even support his own head upright as he sat. Even standing, which he did not very often, was difficult for him--he was always shaky, and even fell down a couple of times. Dr. Walsh, the vet, told us we had the opportunity to hold him while he administered a tranquilizing drug, and then injected him with the overdose that would kill him. But we declined (I say "we" because Amanda was insistent on coming with me to the vet). Instead, we gave him a simple kiss on his small little head, and walked out of the room--not even looking back. It was heartbreaking.

No longer will anyone sit right beside me as I eat, getting on both hind legs to try and steal my food. No longer will a small orange cat sit by the breezeway door, meowing ad nauseum to be let outside--only so he can bask in the sunshine, and eat grass that will eventually make him sick. And no longer will Thomas lay apathetically in front of the cranking wood stove, on a cold winter night, dreaming of whatever it is that these pets we have dream of.....

But he'll live in our memories forever. Thank you Thomas.