1. They are building a new prison in Maine, and, since there isnt much to report in Maine, the prison gets a good deal of press. What's funny about this is how I got to thinking that, with each major municipal or statewide piece of construction, there is a good deal of fanfare when its done. For example, the town of Winslow had an open house night for residents to come check out the "new school," people flocked to this state of the art bridge going over the Penobscot River in Bucksport Maine, and citizens get excited about new libraries, enriched with the latest in technology. But there's never any fanfare or excitement about the completion of a prison . . .possibly for the reason that if its "cool," then they did it wrong . . .because prisons arent supposed to be "cool." I'd hate to be the architect in charge of designing a "state of the art" prison, because, as one might ask, ARE prisons supposed to "be" state of the art? Arent they supposed to be miserable places? The designers must walk a very fine line. And, when this new prison is done, will there be a ceremony or a celebration? Will people walk through and say "oh wow . . .this looks fantastic . . .I love the color of the walls . . .ooh . . .the mess hall is lovely?" Because, if they say any of those things, then as a taxpayer I'd be pissed. Because nothing should look good.
2. I love jazz lately--in fact, in the past few months, I've been pretty much listening to exclusively jazz. I find it so ironic that jazz is credited with being the one "true American" music genre (rock, classical, celtic, and others can be traced back to different countries) "invented and created" in America. National Geographic did a terrific story about it last year, about how "jazz" is so "innately American." The reason I find this ironic is because the culture of jazz was born because people, from other countries, were being oppressed and enslaved. In America.
As Americans, we are so pompous and stupid (we're the same idiots who made Bush president, dont forget) that we fail to realize that the only true "American" music exists only because we were so mean to black people from Africa, that they dealt with their angst, sadness, and frustration through song--African folk . . .gospel . . .early blues . . .and all the ingredients we now call JAZZ. The ultimate, true, organic American music. Idiots.
3. To further substantiate the notion that we, as Americans, are not the smartest bunch, consider the fact that the most popular sport (statistically) in the U.S. is Nascar. We watch cars drive around in circles. Again. And again. But I wont get into that, since someone like Randy (Hi Randy!) will write about all the skill and technique and strategy involved in the racing. Okay. I can buy that. But what about "drag racing?" In this "sport," two guys in cars shaped like penises (coincidence??) line up side by side on a completely straight quarter mile track; there is no steering involved. The green light flashes, and the guys basically "floor it" for the 10 seconds it takes them to drive down the strip. Then these parachute things come out and they slow down. What kind of skill does it take to be a drag racing "driver?" I mean, I'm probably being ignorant (as always), but it seems like anyone could do it. I was watching it the other day for a minute, and the announcer was saying things like "Johnson is one terrific young talent, and probably the best drag driver around today." How can you "not" be good? Unless you have a disease that keeps you from pressing your foot on a gas pedal for 10 seconds, you'd think that everyone would be fine . . . .
4. Did you ever notice how everything is either "more than you think," or "less than you think?" Similarly, most things, too, are also "closer than you think" or "farther than you think." Humans, obviously, are bad estimators.
5. On our way to Bar Harbor the other day, we were driving in back of a helmetless guy driving a motorcycle. His turn signal went on, and he turned into a chiropractor's office. What's the point, ya know? He obviously can't be that concerned about his neck. There's stupidness all around us. Everyone always asks how I come up with these "meanderings." Just look around.
6. On a placemat at a restaurant, I saw an advertisement for a plumbing company that also rents out portable toilets for "long term job sites and special occasions." Its just funny for me to think about needing a toilet for a "special occasion." I know they mean graduation parties, family reunions, etc, but isnt it just funny to picture someone having the conversation that goes like this: "This is SUCH a SPECIAL occasion . . .I think we need to rent a toilet." Fun.
7. The only American politician who "might" be even worse (or at least just as bad) as Bush would be Dick Cheney. He sucks, and I cant believe he isnt in jail, if I may be frank. In Shakespeare's "Richard III," everyone knows . . .it is a blatant fact actually . . .that Richard usurped the kingdom in an illegal and immoral way--but no one neither says nor does anything about it, since Richard is the "king." From this point on, I shall refer to Cheney as "Richard III," since, apparently, the same rules apply to him. What the hell does he even DO? Where is he? Besides securing no bid contracts for Haliburton, has he DONE anything as vice president? You never see him on the news. You never see him welcoming guests to the White House (dignitaries, the pope, the Red Sox, etc). Seriously. What is his point?
8. All politicians are dishonest, corrupt, and hypocritical for the reason that they are human. And that's not their fault. Its just the way it is. Ron Paul, a candidate running for president, has a pretty strong environmental stance. Ralph Nader, running on the "Green" party (an inherently environmental organization) is also planning on an 08 run for president. Yes, its true we live in a "democracy," and its great that anyone can run for president. But come on! Neither Paul, nor Nader have a snowball's chance in hell at even getting close to the nomination. They are SO concerned about the environment, yet they'll spend millions of dollars using paper, cardboard, and plastics (all things that are TERRIFIC for the environment) to advertise a useless campaign. They have NO SHOT, and they are wasting money and materials-- they are generating tons of trash and carbon emissions through their hypocrisy. So dont say you have a strong environmental stance.
9.We ate at a restaurant this past weekend, and when we got the check it had the amount (25.00) and then it said "THANKS, BILL," and I got confused, because I couldnt tell if our waiter's name was Bill, and he was thanking us, or if the check itself was being personified and thus thanking us itself. I still dont know, but I like it that way. There are so few mysteries in life.
4 comments:
Shouldn't prisons be state of the art with respect to keeping prisoners behind bars with the smallest possible overhead cost throughout their lifecycle? Perhaps have the lowest cost per man days-encarcerated? Now that's art!
Cheney is Bush's insurance policy. He's the lone reason Bush hasn't been assassinated.
In Ron Paul's defense (even though I know very little about him) his campaign started as a strictly 'on-line' campaign. However, he quickly progressed to business cards being handed out on the street to now having those huge lawn signs.... But at least he tried in the beginning.
Good blog Jared. I worked in a new prison in Bridgewater, you would believe what it takes to design one, we will talk.
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