Meanderings 35

Family Picture!
This is my new favorite picture of all time.
Me, Callum, and Andrea, who is visiting for a couple of days
Lounging in the garage while I cooked a great dinner of a new tortellini salad (Kristin you'd love it) and chicken marinating in my homemade BBQ sauce (Thurston, you'd like this one)

**Before I start, I will mention that Amanda is hard at work figuring out Snapfish so we can post all kinds of Callum pictures and people can see how big and handsome he is getting. Now, onto the bitching and moaning . . . .

1. When people are under pressure to fulfill a certain task, they often say they are "under the gun." This is a ridiculous thing to say; shouldnt it be "across from the gun?" When people point guns at other people, in preparation for shooting them, dont they shoot ACROSS and not DOWN? I mean, I've seen some executions where the person is made to sit on the ground, and the standing pistol holder actually shoots "down," but for the most part, when we shoot, we shoot across. Even "above the gun" would be better, since when I was with the SEALS we used to assume a lying position and shoot targets that were above us. Please dont say "I feel under the gun to get this job done." Because if you do, you sound silly.

2. I absolutely hate strawberries, and I feel really terrible about this. They're adorable; who hates strawberries? Well, I do. Can't stand the freaking things. Dont like their look, dont like their taste, dont like all the hub-bub about strawberry shortcakes. But, its so sad. I mean, they've never done nothing bad to anyone. I'm really sorry.

3. I've never seen leftover pancakes be eaten. Ever.

4. Here's a blast from the ESPN past: Who remembers the days when ESPN (before they were the empire they are today) used to show not "Sportscenter" all morning, but exercise shows? Ah Ha? Denise Austin, Body by Jake, Gilead, Tony Little, Uncle Touchy's Total Body Toning? Remember these? Were there others? Now, the exercise shows are gone, and, instead, we listen to sports pundits try to hopelessly come up with different ways to phrase "RBI" and "Bases Loaded" and "Nice Hit."

5. No one on ESPN, or any other sports channel for that matter, can ever top Craig Kilborn's "he's cooler than the other side of the pillow." So stop.

6. I'm increasingly bothered by all these new, trendy bottled water companies that advertise that you should drink their water because THEIR water is better for the environment because it comes from virtually untouched springs deep in the dirka dirka rainforest and its totally "green" water because of how it is obtained, blah blah, blah. They advertise how, if you buy THEIR water, you'll be doing something good for the environment because they are an environmentally conscious company. What these blundering capitalistic idiots dont realize, however, is that, by marketing yet ANOTHER bottled water (its only WATER and we have enough in our sink) they are only using yet MORE plastics that a) use fossil fuels to create and b) probably wont be recycled by the morons at Starbucks anyway. So, in the process of trying to look all environmental, all they are doing is adding to the depletion of the environment.

And we keep buying it . . .

7. Speaking of Starbucks: The other day I went to get an iced coffee, and I pondered sitting outside for a bit. Most of the sidewalk tables were round, but there was one rectangular table, which was obviously for customers with handicaps. Great, that is wonderful. But, written on the table, was the following sentence: Please offer this table to our customers with disabilities. What the hell is this? Now I have Starbucks giving me lessons in ethics and morals? Please understand me: this is nothing against people with disabilities; my problem is with Starbucks. It would have sufficed to write on the table "For persons with disabilities." But, now, I have Starbucks encouraging me to "come out of my comfort zone" and physically approach those who are disabled, introduce myself, and offer them a table they might for more comfortable.What if I just want to have my coffee and not participate in changing the world that afternoon? Is that okay? Again, dont get me wrong: I would do this anyway, and I DO do it for not only persons with disabilities, but also for elderly and mothers with children (on the train, subway, etc). Its just that I dont need Starbucks telling me what to do.

8. Okay. This needs to be said: Smashmouth absolutely sucks, I am so sick of that song "Walking on the Sun," its been used in 431 commercials, and we all need to band together to boycott every product that uses this song in its advertisements. This way, maybe they'll go away. Advertising executives make millions of dollars, and they cant think of a different song? You've got to be kidding.

9. Have any of you ever seen a tractor trailer be pulled over by the police? First of all, every one of them should, because they drive both too fast and too aggressively. But thats not my point. With a car or pickup truck, the cop can walk right over and sort of just slightly look down into the driver's window. But tractor trailers are huge. When a police officer pulls over a tractor trailer, is it just sort of implied that the police officer will climb up the steps to be at the truck-driver's level? If so, isnt that dangerous? Couldnt the truck driver just pull off quickly, rendering the officer hurt? Or does the truck driver get out of the truck and come down? That is dangerous too . . .he could be packing heat; you and I arent allowed to get out of our cars when we are pulled over. What is the protocol? There just doesnt seem like any non-awkward way to do it.

Just another reason tractor trailers should be illegal from 7a.m. to 10p.m every day.