Meanderings 36

1. A trip down "sneaker" memory lane: Reebok pumps, Reebox cross training pumps, Reebok "hexagon" technology, Converse "CONS," British Knights, L.A. Gear heel-light technology, L.A. Gear "interchangeable disc" sneakers, to give your sneakers a different color each day, Nike Air Flight Light (2.2 ounces--the lightest sneaker ever), Nike Air Max, Nike Air, Nike Air Pegasus, Nike Air Jordans (the original black ones, of course) Nike Air FORCE, Nike Air "Ewings" (named after Patrick Ewing), Pro Champs, Tretorns, Keds, Roos, and, of course, plaid Converse All-Stars . . .and Johnny Crockett even had the American Flag All-Stars. I think All-Stars are boycottable, because Chuck Taylor would scoff at the way his unadorned sneakers are now 5 times as expensive as they used to be. I'm really glad sneakers aren't as popular as they used to be; as a teacher, I can tell you that there definitely isnt as much emphasis placed on sneakers as when I was a kid. All sneakers used to do was divide caste systems . . .

2. Do you think people who live in Venice, Italy ever take their vacations in places like New Jersey, where, then, they can take pictures of asphalt streets crowded with people, cars, traffic lights, and big box stores? Something different, ya know?

3. When or how has it somehow become "acceptable" for smokers to just "toss" their smoken butts onto the road, the lawn, the curb, etc.? Somehow, for some reason which escapes me, there's this idea that cigarette butts somehow dont count as conventional "trash." Well, they should, and if you're going to smoke, you should at least pick up after yourself. You see people, all the time, nonchalantly tossing their butts onto roadways. Well, I did some research, and did you know that a cigarette butt takes 3-5 years to decompose? I wonder how many smokers know that?

4. "That shirt fits you to a T!" "Oh my goodness . . .you have your mother's laugh to a T!" What is this "T" we're always talking about? Is it part of another word we're too lazy to say? Does the "T" come from "total?" I'm asking because I have no idea . . . .it bothers me to a T.

5. Have you ever seen a WOMAN smoking a pipe? Kind of makes you wonder . . .

6. Corporate America pissing me off department: The other night, for dinner, I picked up a couple of shrimp baskets for Amanda and I at the little snack bar in "downtown" Fairfield. Now, for years, they, like most other businesses, have accepted credit and debit cards (I'm just setting the context). I paid in cash, and it was no problem. But then, this poor guy in back of me goes to pick up food he already ordered, gives them his Visa, and is told "the credit card machine hasnt worked all night." Forget about the fact that they should have told him that when he placed his order . . .but they started giving him attitude and saying things like "well, unfortunately sir, you can't have your food if you dont have cash." This is wrong. If a business decides to offer the service of a credit card machine, then they assume the responsibility for it; it shouldnt be the customer's problem if it breaks. In my view, credit cards, checks, and cash are all valid forms of money, and should all be accepted. Would it be the retaurant's fault if the customer's bank was closed and the customer couldnt get cash to pay for dinner? Exactly. So, in conclusion, the problem I am describing should not, in turn, be the customer's fault. The restaurant should take care of the services and technologies they provide--he should have gotten his food for free

Plus, the food sucks there anyway.

7. Its funny how we use the word "kill" to describe when we eat something to its entirety--"wow, we really killed that onion dip," or "we killed the 12 pack of Natty light pretty fast, huh?" Maybe we use this word to compensate for the fact that we no longer "kill" our food, but instead drive our chubby white asses to the grocery store to buy it (?) Maybe we somehow feel like we had something more to actively "do" with the whole eating process if we use a more aggressive action verb.

8. Joba Chamberlain, the idiot pitcher for the Yankees, is a walking example of irony: before he starts the game, he stands on the mound, in front of sixty thousand people, and prays to God. Then, when the game starts, he throws at Youk's head, deliberately trying to hit him with a 96 mph piece of foreign matter. I dont know what is more pathetic: THIS, or the fact that he sucks so hard that he still has been unable to actually hit Kevin Youkilis.

It would be funny if there was a special relief pitcher in the bullpen whose ONLY job was to hit other batters--you'd keep him in the bullpen until a dink like A-Rod came up, and then you'd have your "striker,"we'd call him, come in, for one pitch, and deliberately beam said player. Obviously, this pitcher would be ejected, but who cares--he did his job. Plus, it would give Craig Hansen something positive to offer to the sox . . .