Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Meanderings 47

First, some pictures of Callum, me, and mumma out after our last big snowstorm (this past Monday, when we once again got pummeled!) Check out his snow suit from Nannie...it is still a little big on him









Okay. I really need to be more consistent with posting on this blog. I apologize for all you regular readers....and I hope to have something (almost) every single day. It'll be my goal.








1. I was thinking the other day about how Russia shares a border with China, and how its so funny that literally you can be in Russia one minute, and China the next....yet the people who live in Russia don't look "Chinese." Isnt that weird? I mean, you'd think that at least the people who live in FAR eastern Russia, right on the border with China, would have "Chinese" looking features. But they dont. Russians are Caucasian, and Chinese are Asian looking. Funny, isnt it? What absolutely dynamic thing occurs in the 5 feet of border separating the two countries that causes one nationality to look COMPLETELY different?








2. By law, all Federal buildings in the United States are smoke free. Yet, we have a president who smokes cigarettes and lives in the White House....which is a Federal building, right? How does that one work? Does our own president break the law every time he lights up? Is there a separate designated smoking room for Barack? Also, does he take 90% more breaks than other presidents have throughout history....just so he can go out for a smoke? Ya know...like all the people we work with in our offices, etc. that get so many more breaks than we do, just because they smoke and we don't.








3. Adults LOVE to talk about how we are "entitling" and "enabling" our children of today by constantly giving into them, giving them breaks, giving them freebies, etc. To those whiners, I have THREE letters for you....D.T.V. Okay? Enough with all the freakin' soap opera over how we are making a transition from analog to digital. HOW MUCH EASIER CAN WE MAKE IT??? I mean, the government is offering (essentially) free converter boxes, and the FCC is spending millions on their "tour" to give information to idiots all over the United States. And STILL....we have advocates for Spanish speaking communities saying how its hard on their people because they arent in "the know." And then we have our own politicians in the house and senate proposing that we delay the transition, in order to give people more time to get ready. Its not that hard. And all the adolescents of the country are laughing at you, hypocrites.








4. You know how when you're watching the news and then the news goes to a commercial and all of the sudden the newscasters start writing furiously on some random piece of paper in front of them? What are they doing? I'd love to see the paper....I get so curious. Is there anything substantial there, or are they just preoccupying themselves because they are too nervous to look at the camera when they have no teleprompter telling them what to do? I wonder if any of the newscasters have ever written "Suck it Trebek" as they go to commercials. I would like that.








5. Did you ever notice how only rich and important people get "indicted" on something. The rest of us just get arrested and thrown in court. I guess you know you've really made it in the world if you get "indicted."








6. "I wouldnt be caught dead wearing white after labor day!" Think about that, and how silly it sounds. Dead people arent "caught." The word "caught" connotes that there was some kind of challenge involved....some type of pursuit of some kind. And with dead people, that just isnt the case. You dont have to "catch" dead people; they arent running away from you. Just merely walk up and do your business. And why do we want to catch dead people anyway? Just leave them alone, dammit.








7. You can always tell if you're in a really expensive and exclusive restaurant if the prices of the food items have neither a dollar sign in front of them, nor any "change" denominations after them. Expensive and snobby food is always just a flat rate...there is never a ".99" or ".50" after the price. Here's what I mean:








(Governor's Restaurant)








FISH AND CHIPS----$8.95








(Domenic's on the Kennebec)








GOAT CHEESE RUBBED FLANK STEAK 21








And the price of the expensive and snobby restaurant is always so far removed from the words describing on the entree....like the price will somehow "pollute" your fancy little ribeye....




And another thing that just came to mind--all of these expensive restaurants can never just be satisfied just being a noun....they have to have some type of preposition to modify their name; they always have to be ON or ABOVE or BY something. Its like they have to show how cool they are in relation to something else....probably an insecurity thing that most rich and snobby people have. Pay attention to that sometime....








8. "I need to drive faster...we're really late, and I need to make up some time!" Now I'm no Stephen Hawking, but it would seem to me that you simply just CANNOT "make up time." Time passes by us each second of every day....and then its gone. You cant get it back. So why do we kid ourselves and think that if we walk harder, drive faster, or write more furiously that we can somehow "make up" this time that has long since passed? Just live in the moment. Namaste, you silly little freaks








9. Lastly this evening, I just want to throw out there how sick I am of hearing about all these 9 year olds going for their black belts in Karate. PA-LEEZE! Come on. Karate was the last hope we had in America at teaching discipline, honor, respect, and EARNING things....and now we're giving black belts to 11 year old kids? Just because you've taken Karate since you were five, and put the time in, doesnt mean you should get a black belt. When I was growing up, you NEVER heard of anyone being a black belt...and when you did come across a black belt, you stayed the heck away from them! They were few and far between; I remember my dad's good friend John was (and still is) a black belt, and this guy was as tough as nails (except now he has breakfast man-dates with my also retired dad...but we wont hold that against him). It seemed like it used to be an elite honor to earn a black belt....now they seemingly dole them out to anyone. I shouldnt be able to kick anyone's butt who holds a black belt. Not that I would ever fight a 9 year old. Well....maybe....ya know....to prove my point.....

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just want to say that I love it when you have pictures of Callum. I love seeing pictures of him. Kiss kiss Callum!

Anonymous said...

I love his suit! he looks so cute in it, especially the one where he's sitting in the snow, wondering what the hell is going on, haha that's what his face says, anyway =)

Anonymous said...

Callum is getting so big! He's so cute, I love the picture of him sitting in the snow. Hugs and kisses to you Callumxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Nannie loves the photos too, I like the blogs wtih Callum in them the best. I like to see him how he is changing everyday.

He looks so cute in blue!!!

Anonymous said...

hopefully callum can make his way south soon to see his Nannie, Papa, etc. . he is trying his best to make it down....now they are saying a 2 foot noreaster on sunday into monday.....its been quite a winter for him

Anonymous said...

We cannot get enough picture of the little moose, he is so handsome!Good blog Jared , you are right about little kids getting their black belts, like everything else its all about the money.Hey , how come people have to go to the back of the store at the pharmacy to get their medicine, when they sell cigaretts at the front of the store to make you sick?

Michelle Garner said...

Loved this post, Jared...especially the pictures of the little guy. He's sooo cute!

Michelle Garner said...

A 2 foot noreaster on Sunday?!?! When the heck did they say THAT?!?

Unknown said...

Meanderings RUUUUUUUUULE!

Anonymous said...

Does Andy Rooney write these blogs?