101st Post!

Yesterday marked the 100th post of "The Complete Works of Goldsmith!" Time certainly does fly when you're having fun! Here's to 5 or 6 more!!!

After Ortiz left this morning, Sally and I went to church. We started going to church again at the Prince of Peace Lutheran in Augusta--the same church in which we got married. We really enjoy the service, and the grandparents go there, so we know many of the people. A little bit longer of a commute, but we think the right place for us right now.

After a nap with Thomas, we decided to go for a lovely Autumn walk on the multi-use trails (snowmobile, ATV, etc) that pick up in Fairfield Center. I snowmobiled this past winter with my friend Dave, and the trails are spectacular--almost eerie. There is no way you would ever think that you are anywhere near civilization--its beautifully serene. The trail network is Maine is pretty impressive. Essentially, clubs, by town, maintain different sections of the trails. In some places, like Millinocket (Ortiz's favorite place), Fort Kent, and Caribou, the trails are wider than the interstate highway. Priorities. What is truly amazing is how you can get on a trail anywhere (like Fairfield) and basically go all the way into Canada. Well, we didnt get to Canada, but it was so tough for us to stop trying, as we were enjoying the day, the walk, and the time together so much that we didnt want to turn around. The trail went through beautiful groves, immense clearings, and random cornfields seemingly nowhere near anyplace like a farm, a house, or a building of any kind. Does corn just grow wild?

We arrived home to see Jon and Mel hanging out in our driveway, with Jon working on my truck. This past June, Jon used my truck to move something, and he had a little incident with it, so he had been meaning to find a time to fix it. He took out the dent, primed, and painted the damaged section. A pretty good job. I lit a small fire outside that no one gave a crap about, and then we had pizza AND pizza bites. Its cold now . . .while watching NCIS dvds, Sally and Mel curled up on the couch with blankets, even . They were SEPARATE blankets on separate couches, I should note. However, one can fantasize, right?

Joking.

Kraut!

No, not the WWII Nazi kind, but sauerkraut.

I've realized lately that when people come visit, one of the ways I like to visit with them is by cooking while they are here. Tonight, Ortiz was my very special kitchen helper while I made sauerkraut using the garlic and cabbage we got at the farm today. I got a great recipe for kraut in one of Amanda's "Mother Earth" magazines a year or so back. Basically, you use cabbage and salt--and you let nature take care of the rest. After shredding the cabbage and mixing it with the salt (and garlic if you want), you crush up the slurry with your hands . . .you take some in your fist, and you just squeeze. The water in the cabbage combines with the salt to create a brine, which then ferments because of the bacteria on the cabbage. After two weeks in my special crock, which I keep down in the basement (the crock, not the weeks---grammar joke!) we are ready to enjoy some serious German fare!

As you can see, Ortiz was in charge of the garlic, while I shredded up all the cabbage. He was a very special helper indeed!

Its funny how, at our house, whenever friends or family come over, we always end up spending 90% of the time in the kitchen. I guess its just a warm place to be; you've got the wood stove, the food, bright windows, and Thomas P. is usually there. We spent most of the morning just hanging out in the kitchen, talking and drinking coffee. I love drinking coffee in the morning while talking to people. And, this weekend, I am very spoiled: since Dad gets up at the butt crack of dawn, HE starts the coffee, and I get to wake up to the smell of the fresh grog brewing. Its such a minor detail, I realize, but there's something so peaceful and comfortable about waking up to the smell of fresh coffee brewing in your home. I haven't experienced this since college, when my roommate Brian, a forestry major who left for classes before it got light out, used to get not only the coffee, but also the woodstove going. What a treat.

It all reminds me of that episode of THE OFFICE where Michael describes how he loves to wake up to the smell of bacon cooking, so he keeps a George Foreman grill plugged in beside his bed, and then burns his foot stepping on the grill by accident when he gets up . . .its a hilarious episode.

The Kraut will be ready the week after Columbus day . . .come and get it

The Apple Farm

This morning, after drinking our coffee and chatting by the kitchen island, Dad, Amanda, and I drove over to the Wintergreen Herb farm to pick up our produce for the week--cabbage (the subject of another blog), heirloom tomatoes, spices, squash, and garlic. Amanda and I went down the path a ways to say hi to the "piglets" we met earlier this summer. Well, now they aren't so much piglets anymore . . .the three of them each weigh about 140-160 pounds. When we first saw them, they were so tiny, so cute, and so playful. Now, they just kind of "root" up weeds and plants and eat as much as they possibly can. Kate raises pigs for meat, and these guys are scheduled to leave for the slaughterhouse on November 3. She is obviously attached to them, and I asked her how difficult it is for her to get so attached, and then kill them. A good question to ponder, I suppose. But, in the end, I guess its just more reason to give thanks for the food which we get to eat--these pigs pay the ultimate sacrifice for our palates, and I suppose they live far greater lives than most of the other pigs that grow up on hogfarms and such . . .

After the farm, we drove over to the Apple Farm in our very own Fairfield. It is in some beautiful country, and it was a beautiful fall day to be outside--cool, crisp, and breezy. Amanda and I saw so many people we knew--students, church people, and even teachers. For 5 extra bonus points, try to find WHS's very own Scott Wood sampling some cider . . .

We bought some delicious apples, and sampled their scrumptious cider, donuts, and mustard pickles. I got an "apple box" bushel-thingy in which to keep our kindling by the wood stove. And we took home a gallon of their fresh cider--made so freshly that it wasn't even chilled yet. They have wonderful cider that always tastes different--depending on the apples being picked that day. I've included their fully operational--and always fun to watch--cider press mill.

When we got back from the farm, Dad and I played around with the new chop saw he bought us (thanks Dad!) and mitred til our hands could mitre no more. From there it was off to The Red Barn for a late lunch--with my "Black Raider Card" that I bought to support the football team, we had a "buy one get one free" deal with chicken baskets. The Red Barn is Maine-famous for their delicious chicken and seafood baskets, as well as their seafood stew--for $4.25 one gets a cup of stew so loaded with fresh lobster meat, scallops, shrimp, and haddock, that there isnt even room for "filler" potatoes! Its unbelievable.

All in all a great day to get my mind off of school for a while. Classes are fantastic, and all the things that fit my job description are going just well. Its all the political crap--as always--that is making this year a very divided one amongst the faculty. This past two weeks saw visits from Channel 5, Channel 6, Channel 8, OSHA, The Dept. of Labor, and the ACLU--in fact I just got finished reading ANOTHER article about my school (which I love by the way . . .in all seriousness) in "The Morning Sentinel." Stay tuned for the national news, I guess . . .

Four Years . . . .

So today it was four years for Amanda and I--its hard to believe its all gone by so fast. From our time in Rochester New Hampshire to our abysmal apartment in Disgusta to our now beautiful house in Fairfield; from two jobs we both despised to moving to a new state to Amanda struggling for a year to find a new career--its safe to say we've been through a lot together. Amanda is a saint dealing with all my OCD fits and bouts of depression, and I (for the most part, I must admit) "encourage" her with her "motivation" issues. Amanda's Godfather Uncle Hugh married us four years ago today at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church. On the night before the wedding, while we ate fried calamari at the Olive Garden and he divulged his and Aunt Lois's voracious sexual appetite after almost 50 years of marriage (awkward), he gave us some precious advice:

"Everyone says marriage is a 50/50 deal . . .but that's crap. You give 99% of yourself, and you expect 1% back. And your spouse gives 99% of their self, and they expect 1% back. If this happens, its just magic . . ."

We're still pretty naive--after all, we're still technically newbies at this whole marraige thing, but I think its safe to say that we never could have imagined the amount of work that goes into a marraige--each day is a beautiful lesson and challenge in patience, understanding through love, and selflessness. And sometimes Amanda bakes, too.

We ate at the Village Inn in Belgrade Lakes, and Amanda got "Great Pond Chicken," which was delicious (she always lets me try her stuff!) A breaded chicken breast with roasted red peppers, goat cheese (hi Sarah!) and prosciutto. I got 1/2 of a roasted duck with a Thai-lemongrass glaze. Delicious--and believe it or not, for the second time in as many weeks, I TOOK SOME HOME! I must be really sick or something. We went all out . . .I got clam chowder and Sally got French Onion Soup. We got fresh baked bread. And we feasted on peach bread pudding for dessert. We love the Village Inn for our anniversary---for a brief moment of time WE get to pretend WE are retired stockbroker VP's from Florida, wearing pink Polo Shirts, seersucker shorts, and bright green Crocs with white gym socks too. Its fun. Oh yeah, and the view of Long Pond is priceless.

A busy weekend ahead--Hank the Crank is leaving bright and early tomorrow morning in the big maroon truck, destined to Fairfield for his autumn Maine adventure. Fun stories to come I am sure

Almost October??

Yes it is, believe it or not. It head 95 degrees in Fairfield today, and wouldnt you know it? Our air conditioner broke at about 3 this morning. I know I shouldnt complain, because we are lucky enough to have an AC in our room, but it was kind of funny. The knob that adjusts the coldness broke off and the machine was making this really loud throbbing noise. What made it even funnier was the fact that we have a "sleigh bed" style headboard, and the AC plugs in right in back of that . . . .so Amanda had to crawl in back of the bed Navy Seal style at about 3. Then we went back to sleep--or I should say Amanda went back to sleep. After "I" fell asleep--about 5 minutes after, to be exact--Little P started licking my forehead, which is his universal sign that he wants the hell out the closed door bedroom, probably so he can go sit downstairs and stare at nothing like he always does.

The warm weather has allowed us to keep doing some more projects (like fix the air conditioner). After making love to a hacksaw for an hour or so last week, I was able to install the new globe lantern on our light post. Maybe for Christmas, I'll put red and green lights in the globe, so all the neighborhood kids will come over and sing carols to me. Also, as you can see, we put the first coat of stain on the T-111 wood. The wood was so dry, that it sucked in the stain like Mikey and his milkshake (only Ponticekki will get this). Just the two small sides took a whole gallon of stain. But now, everything is TOO white, and we'll probably paint the door to give some contrast.

Did anyone watch the premiere of NCIS or The Unit last night? NCIS was awesome, but I would have to say that The Unit was probably the most exciting, gut-wrenching, blood pressure elevating hour of television I have ever seen. What just totally kicks my butt is how darn well the show is written. David Mamet was a playwright before he crossed over to television (and writing the program). After last night's episode I needed to go for a walk and have a ciggy-butt . . .it was that stressful.

Tomorrow it will be FOUR YEARS since Ms. Amanda Stuart Willard did me the honor of making me Mr. Jared Nicholas Willard . . . .

We have reservations at the Village Inn--our official anniversary restaurant. We'll write more about it tomorrow. They are probably slow roasting my duck at 200 as we speak . . .

Liam Anthony (and Abby too)

The Pelottes are the proud new parents of Liam Anthony, who weighed in at 8 pounds 5 ounces and was 21 inches long. We took a quick visit over to China tonight to go meet the little guy. As you can see, he is very small and cuddly. Doesnt Amanda look so good holding the baby? Maybe we'll get her one of her own someday . . .

Griffin is getting very big too--we made sure to play with him a bunch . . .it must be hard being the "new big brother" after you've had the place to yourself for a year and a half; I bet its quite an adjustment. But while Amanda held Liam, Griffin sat with me and we looked at his "truck book," and we looked at hundreds of pictures of trains, trucks, farm equipment . . .you name it. Amanda picked some pretty flowers from her garden and she arranged them in a vase for the new mom, and then we stopped at Hillmans (the best bakery in the world . . . located right here in Fairfield) to pick up some whoopie pies, Napoleons, and bismarks for Tony.

*****

On a somber note, we were so sad to hear today of the passing of Abby--one of the top three animals I have ever known. I've mentioned her before--she's Aunt June and Uncle Bob's 140 pound Newfie. Apparently, she's been off and on sick since we left New Jersey in August. I guess Uncle Bob brought her to vet's this morning, and had to literally "carry" her into the office . . .but it was too late--Abby died right in Bob's arms. Very sad. She was a terrifically loyal and loving animal, and, even though she drooled on just about everything you didn't want her to, we'll miss her a lot--who ELSE is going to go in the cold pool with me???

Meanderings 13

1. Did you ever notice how in New England, all of our radio stations start with "W," as in WZOU, WCSH, WBCN, and more? But, seemingly everywhere else, they start with "K?" Even as close as New York this happens. Every station is like "K-Rock" or "K-Star" or something like that. Why won't New Englander's keep it real with the rest of the country? Why do we hold on to our Puritan radio station heritage?

2. Okay . . .who is sick of that show "Prison Break?" I think the show is on its third season now. I've never watched it because it looks stupid. Look. You either break out of prison, or you don't. Make up your mind and stop screwing around. How do they hold people's interest? Just do it already.

3. A famous saying from some famous radio DJ--and one that shows up in all those cheesy quote books you get at Hallmark stores--is "Reach for the moon . . .even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." Wicked stupid. First of all, you won't "land" anywhere . . .there's no gravity idiot. Second, why would you want the moon anyway? If you were really serious about your goal, wouldnt you INITIALLY go for the stars anyway? They're much more prestigious, yes yes? Third, if you missed the moon, you couldnt possibly land among the stars, since the nearest star is lightyears away. Whoever said that quote is an idiot. There. I just ruined your Hallmark card.

4. Its time that pizza toppings undergo a revolution, and I am more than happy to front this cause. For too long, we Americans have been complacent in our pepperoni's and our green onions and our mushrooms. Finally, pineapple and bacon--two maverick toppings--have come into their own right in mainstream pizza culture. But let's take it a step further. I'm talkining fried macaroni and cheese balls, Chinese boneless spare ribs, peanut butter sauce, scrapple, deep fried cheese cake, and chicken wings. Don't fear the topping! Let's get creative. How about this: a pizza topped with Geno's pizza rolls? Double pizza=twice the fun.

5. Kudos to the "Airstream" Company for keeping it real after all these years. Airstream makes those classic camper trailers out of the wicked shiny metal. While just about every other company changes their designs with the times, (think car models, sneakers, kitchen appliances, etc) Air Stream has totally kept it real, not changing their 50's inspired aerodynamic design. I wish I could keep it real.

6. I was looking at my Red Ryder BB gun tonight (ha ha . . .I have it now Dad!) and I was just thinking about now those same guns are made with cheap plastic Chinese lead product, and not the rich walnut wood like I have (back when I was a kid . . . .etc). But what made me laugh was the warning on the box that read: "Warning--this is not a toy." The box has cartoon drawings of cowboys and indians on it. Of course its a toy. What is it, an M-4?

7. Anyone remember the Pippi Longstocking movies? What about Fatty Finn?

8. When April 15th rolls around, and everyone files their taxes, what happens with Al Shartpton and Jesse Jackson? I guess what I am saying is: What the heck do they DO? I mean, besides complain. For example, when they get a paycheck (and they must get paid, since they are all filthy rich) what does their check "say," and where is it "from?" What exactly "are" these guys anyway?

Farewell Jane

The faculty at WHS will lose a fantastic teacher when Jane leaves for England next week--I mentioned her before; she and her husband Milan are moving to Oxford so he can finish up his Ph.D there. This afternoon, Amanda and I hosted a little "going away suaree" for the Babiks. Most of the English department was there--Dave and Jen, Zach and Nikki, and Michelle (Chris had to work). Michelle blindfolded both Jane and Milan (she likes to do that to people . . .wah wah wah) and drove them all the way from Vassalboro to Fairfield. We had balloons, a banner, a great pasta salad, a fruit pizza (with M&Ms), and lots of burgers, chicken speedies (a Raider Society favorite), and red hot dogs. All in all, it was a nice, mellow little gathering. We set up a bunch of chairs in the garage, had a couple of beers, laughed a lot, and threw around the Frisbee and football.

We had a skunk in our garage tonight, so that was pretty neat. But it was just Frank, the neighborhood skunk, and he's a pretty good boy who doesn't spray people. Kind of funny--you can pretty much walk right past him (like I've done by accident many times) and he just looks at you for a second, and then goes back to whatever he was doing. We had the garage doors open tonight, since we were all out there. And then, after dark, we went into the garage to clean things up, and there he was, right in our garage, checking out our garbage. We're trying to set up a play date with him and Thomas--Thomas needs to be exposed to all kinds of different lifestyle demographics--especially if he's going to go to public school . . .

Spinners and Coffee Porter

I should have written this last night, but I was too tired. Consider this Saturday's entry. Amanda and spent Saturday helping Karl and Jody Andresen close their pool for the season--there sure is a lot of work that goes into having a pool (maybe what my dad said was right!). We can never seem to leave the Andresen's without a bushel full of vegetables from Karl's garden--now we have bags of red potatoes, hot chili peppers, and pungent onions. After leaving Karl's we went to Agway to pick up some stain, with the hopes of getting the first coat on the texture-111 wood that is the siding of the mudroom. It was a gamble as to if it was going to rain, but in the end we prevailed, getting the entire first coat on both sides. Boy, it is tough to stain this type of wood--with all the texture involved in the wood, the wood just "sucks" the stain right in, and its almost impossible to "spread" it around like you can regular paint. But we did it.

Later that evening, Jonathan and Mel came by to eat split pea soup I made. In addition, a man Jon works with home brews beer, and he gave Jonathan a gallon and a half of "coffee porter," which is a beer that seems twice as dark as Guinness . . .and brewed with coffee beans in it. It had a remarkably smooth, rich, almost "soy sauce" kind of taste. I know that sounds gross--who wants to drink soy sauce. But it wasnt "bad" soy sauce flavor. You had to be there I guess. The only "problem" was that once the jug was open, it had to get all drunk (dranken, drank, drunken?? I dont know actually). So we "had" to do our part in drinking it all so it wouldnt go to waste. It was job we were proud to do.

We also played a game called "Spinners." Spinners is a domino game I was introduced to by Grandmom and Grandpop when I first started dating Amanda. Its lots of fun, and Mel is hooked. Even my sister and Twon like to play when we are together. I like the game because domino's are cool to play, and I like all the different shapes that are made on the table--they remind me of crop circle designs.

Lastly, you'll see Amanda, Constance, and Thomas P. all curled up on the couch, while mumma works on her pillow for tomorrow's class. How cute!

Sally's Week

I thought I would dedicate a little blog to Sally Piles, and tell people what she has been up to. As you can see, she just finished a VERY difficult 1000 piece puzzle of her favorite painting--"The Kiss" by (Gustav??) Klimt. I think it is Gustav. Anyway, this is a painting she has loved since before I ever met her, and she worked diligently on this puzzle. I have never done a jigsaw puzzle in my life--I have not the patience, skill, desire, or time. But Amanda truly gets lost in her puzzles; I could literally pick her up, carry her downstairs to her puzzle table, and leave her there for hours--and she would work without interruption on it. I guess it is addictive to her; I cannot fathom how. Like I said, this was a 1000 piece puzzle. But look at the sides--either side of the two lovers in an embrace. How did she do this part? THAT looks difficult--there are no differentiating characteristics. Anyway, congrats babycakes--we'll get you a frame and you can hang it in our room.

Sally was also the chairwoman on the entertainment subcommittee at work for "Employee Recognition Day." You KNOW you work for a bureaucratic entity when you need a SUBCOMMITTEE to have fun--yes, yes? Each year, the state rents out the Augusta Civic Center, and all the employees from her "agency" go for a day of fun, fellowship, and recognition--awards are given out, food is eaten, and games are played. This year's theme was "country fair," and as you can see, my little farmer girl was all decked out for her day in state government. She also has a straw cowgirl hat, but if she put that on too, you would have to be over 18 to view the blog. Just kidding. She went all out, and was responsible for many of the activities that transpired during the day--she went to Mardens to buy a "jumbo bowling set," she brought a tarp from home to put into a kiddie pool to simulate a fishpond, and there were sheets hung on clotheslines for a makeshift "fortune teller" booth. Speaking of which, why dont you ever see any rich fortune tellers? Can't they predict what the powerball numbers will be? HA! Caught in your web of lies! I digress . . .

She did a great job. Besides that, Amanda has a new hobby of refinishing old furniture. We have been given a bunch of cool stuff lately--an end table from my mom, and a coatrack/shelf and a bench from the Greenlaws. We'll put these things out in Thomas's new room, but Amanda is sanding and repainting them all. She is getting much more into her crafts in general, in fact, as she is taking a couple of adult education classes at Lawrence--"applique pillow making" and "quilted table runner crafting." And just this afternoon, she woke me up from a perfectly good nap to show me the patterns she bought at Jo-Ann fabrics--she has some blazers, shirts, and dresses she is excited to sew. I hope she does all these things--as she is very talented. And maybe, just maybe she'll finish the sweater she started for me in 2001 (I had to throw that in . . sorry).

Finally, it was a busy week on QVC. I have included a picture of the television station that is on in my home for 12-14 hours per day. Amanda was glued to the screen for the "Bare Escentuals" make up special from 7-10 on Thursday. Lisa is my favorite host--she's pretty. I think Amanda has an addiction problem, and I am looking for people to join me in the "intervention" I have planned . . .ha ha

And oh yeah . . .there is Thomas taking a nap with his "baby" Constance.

Handy

No picture today . . .One thing Sally and I have been talking about is how we haven't included any "live" pictures lately--"live" meaning pictures that we take of the house, each other, our activities, etc. Its just that since school started, we have begun to move into a less "picturesque" kind of lifestyle. But that will change. We'll get some new pictures up there soon of all the projects we've got going--building coat racks, staining the exterior of the mud room, replacing the light post globe in the front yard, and putting up some moulding.

My chief weakness in life--and something that, consequently, I fear very much--is my inability to do normal "guy" things. I can lift heavy things. I can write beautiful songs. I can make people laugh and cry with my stories. I can cook delicious meals. But I am, under no circumstances, what you would call "handy" around the house. Since special education is, in fact, taking over my school (and the world, apparently), it suffices to say that, if tested, I would probably have a severe learning disability with visual-spacial relations and kinetic processes. I am totally serious--not trying to be funny. This is something that I struggle with daily.

I am exceptionally strong with my creative abilities, but ask me to make some mitre cuts in a piece of moulding, measure the perimeter of the room for sheet rock, or remove a rusty globe from a light post, and I have lots of trouble--it takes me a long time to process things. Its like I can't process "common sense" things--its weird. I've always been like this.

Having our own home has been an exceptional experience so far, both in the way we do not have to share walls with idiots, and in the way it forces me to develop the confidence I lack in learning how to be the "man" around the house. Luckily, I have a beautiful wife who is not only incredibly patient and willing to teach, but also brilliant at problem solving in her own right. She encourages me to learn the things I used to think I could not do, and now I find myself (WICKED SLOWLY) doing those things. I have fixed the "man's bathroom" toilet many times (not forgetting to laugh at how a principal working component is called a "ballcock"). I have done sheetrocking. I tried my hand at finish carpentry. I split and stack all our own wood. I "graded" many sections of perennial beds by the foundation that were collecting standing water when it rained. I have caulked and spackled and puttied and weather-proofed.I have re-insulated crawl spaces. I put up gutters and downspouts (which sucked). And today, I spent a half hour with a hacksaw cutting off a section of rusted out steel pipe so we could install a new globe on our light post.

I swear I dont say all these things to sound arrogant--far from that. I still am VERY amateur at "taking care of a house." But sometimes I think (and my dad reminds me) about how far I have come since I was a kid "holding the ladder" when my dad and I built a treehouse (about the only thing I COULD do). If you want further evidence of this, go visit my mom and ask her to show you pictures of me covering my books--it was a yearly tradition on the second or third day of school when I would sit on the kitchen floor, Shaw's bags and scissors by my side, and contemplate how IN THE WORLD I was going to cover my Spanish text book. I would usually go about 10 minutes before I started crying in frustration. Again, I am totally serious. I could not grasp the concept. But I have learned much in the two years we have lived here . . .and my confidence gets (a little bit) stronger each day. Thanks Sally Piles for putting up with me . . .

Profanity

In the book THE CATCHER IN THE RYE, Holden Caulfield, the main character, shows incredibly obsessive compulsive tendencies in the way he tries to save the world for children, and be their "catcher" in the "rye." If you have never read the novel, you should. It is one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) American novels ever written. By "saving the world" for children, he inadvertently "protects" them from experiencing the true trials and tribulations of life--one of these is the whole notion of bathroom profanity. In the story, he visits his sister Phoebe at her school. In the bathroom, he notices spacklings of profanity scratched, scribbled, and carved all over the stall doors. Quickly, he cleans it up, so as to "shield" the other students from seeing the bad words; he just can't understand why people would do this.

As the school year gets off to its start, I find myself contemplating the whole idea of bathroom profanity. Sure, I swear, tell "dirty" jokes, and say "that's what she said" whenever I can. But I have never, ever felt the need to manifest my love of bad words by engraving them in a public restroom someplace. Bathroom profanity is something so commonplace, yet so mysterious. What is the motivation for someone to write dirty words on bathroom walls? Think about it.

The profanity at Winslow High School is similarly amusing, yet concerning. In one of the stalls the other day, someone wrote BOOBS! and then drew two big orbs with little dots in the middle. In a different bathroom today (a brand new bathroom in the new wing of the school) I noticed a big "phallic symbol" scribbled in pencil right next to the soap dispenser. Finally, in yet another stall, some latent poet exclaimed, in red pen, "SEX IS FREAKIN' RAD!" This one is my favorite. So simple, yet so rich; I imagine so much time went into this one.

I know its a taboo sort of subject, but I just find it interesting that people do this. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about it . . .what do you think??

Meanderings 12

Just a few thoughts for today . . .more to come tomorrow . . . I have to WORK now, so I can't stay up and blog all night . . . ha ha

1. Do pharmacy students, at some point in their college career, take "Separating things with butterknives 101?"Seemingly, this is all that it takes to be a pharmacist. If you can count and move pills across a small table with a butter knife, then being a pharmacist might be for you. And you make 100k a year for doing it. Sure, some meds interact with others in a bad way, but this is your doctors job to tell you . . .or you can just get that desk reference book and read it yourself. Am I missing something, or are pharmacists just the medicinal equivalent of the parts guy at the Chevy dealership--who makes 8.50 per hour . . . .

2. A student brought this to my attention today: We use the phrase "careless mistakes" or "careless errors" all the time. "Don't make any careless mistakes on your paper!" Or, "Jeez, Manny's careless error in left field cost the Sox a run." Aren't all errors and mistakes "careless?" Isnt that what makes them a mistake or an error in the first place?

3. That "Extreme Makeover" show with the guy with the dumb hair is a pretty good concept--in theory. I mean, its really nice that they put a needy family in a new home. But the show is severely flawed, and it has been "frenched" by the nasty tongue of Hollywood. They only help ONE family. If they REALLY cared about helping . . .and not about RATINGS . . .then they would put SEVERAL needy families in more modest houses. The homes they build for one family are terribly ostentatious, and I question the producer's true motivations. What type of family of four needs an air conditioned in-ground pool on their roof? Or a microfiber go-kart track that squirrels through the immense underground tunnel system of the back yard? Or siding made of cedar shakes that change color depending on the mood of the mother? Just ridiculous. They should have a special episode . . .where a bunch of people tie the host down, beat him, and then cut his hair. Now THAT's a makeover.

4. "I don't see the Red Sox winning the world series in the foreseeable future." What's with that phrase--"foreseeable future?" What future IS foreseeable? Isnt that the whole point of the future--that no one can see it? Who decides what future is "foreseeable" and what future is not? Is there a "cutoff" after two months or so? If the future is foreseeable, then it must be either the present or the past, right? Am I confusing you? Do you like me still?

5. I wish Keebler would bring back "Tato Skins." Those things were great. Do you remember those? Keebler was the first snack food company devoted to eco-sustainability--use the WHOLE potato, and throw nothing away. Genius. A chip made with the otherwise-seen-as "by product" of the potato. They were wicked good too (better than any chip) and at the end of the day, I really felt like I was making a difference in the life of an elf.

6. Speaking of chips--If you havent tried them yet, go out and buy some "Pringles Selects" right now. They are scrumptious--as my Nana Courtney used to say. Truly, they are divine chips. They come in sweeet potato flavor, "Szuchaun BBQ," and "Sundried Tomato." They are so good that you dont even feel like you are eating chips. Go try 'em

6. Amanda watches QVC on a daily basis; I have to admit I am addicted as well. QVC has commercials in between their "shows," which is kind of funny when you realize that QVC is, itself, one big commercial. So, its a commercial that has commercials. That's cute.

What We Did This Weekend

So this is a quick, random blog about our weekend. Sorry its so short, but I am missing the Pats CRUSH the overly arrogant Shaun Merriman and his little cute band of Chargers.

The pictures are of Dennis Basso, my favorite faux fur jacket designer. He features his products on QVC, which I have become addicted to. He is perhaps the most flamboyant character I have seen on television--but is mysteriously addictive to watch; I truly love seeing his shows even though I have no interest in faux fur, faux suede, or leopard print coats. I do a pretty good imitation of his voice, for those interested in seeing it done live. Is it wrong that I like him?

I am totally addicted to the "iPod song" featured in the new "Nano" commercials. The name of the song is called "1 2 3 4" by an artist named "Feist." I kind of feel like a tenth grade girl on the swim team, but I really love the song. Just another thing to make me feminine, I guess

Amanda baked some delicious cookies yesterday, and I have been snacking on them all night. We cooked a delicious ham, which we will use for soup later in the week. Yesterday I watched the sox crush the Yankees, and then we went to the Asian Cafe for dinner--for my money the best restaurant around. Other than that, we just sort of enjoyed the prospect of having nothing really "to do." Amanda painted a table Mom gave us a while ago--she also painted and refinished a coat rack Cindy and Dana gave us for our new room. Thomas has been super affectionate, like he always does when the weather gets cooler (its so strange how this happens) so we have been snuggling with him. And oh yeah . . .we ordered one of those "Food Savers" from QVC (I told you . . .I probably am going to start menopause soon) and we had some fun vacuum sealing the crap out of leftover ham and some cookies. Food, when vacuum sealed with the Food Saver, can last in the freezer for almost two years!! That is wonderful.

Off to get showered and catch the last quarter of the game . . .

Look At This

Look at this picture of Darth Vader at the beach. Just look at it. This is perhaps the most random thing I have seen in a long time--and I am pretty random and eccentric. This is even weird to ME. When I saw this (along with a bunch of other pictures like this on ebaumsworld.com) I laughed for probably three whole minutes straight. Then, after I shut the computer off, I went on with my daily life, but the image of Darth Vader at the beach, pouring water from a Brita filter into a non-filtered bottle just kept popping into my head, and I had to stop and laugh. Amanda stated to me that she had not heard or seen me laugh like that for a long time.

I know you probably see it and say "what's the big deal," but I just think random things are so humorous. When I was in high school, I took this completely useless class called "computer applications." I got a C- in it. My good friend Johnny Crockett was in it with me. We used those old Mac computers--the ones with the wicked little grey screens that seemed to be "set back" like two feet from the glass. I remember liking the way the keys sounded and felt when you tapped on them to type. At this time (circa 1994) I dont think "Windows" was even out. Was it? Anyway, as I said, the class was useless, and I dont remember anything about it. Mr Gove, our teacher, yakked and yakked about "templates" and "letters" and ""spreadsheets." But all I did was search throughout the little computer's small memory for clip art, which I then copied and pasted to "word documents." For little 1 gig computers, they had an impressive (and random) library of "images." There were lots of pumpkins--I copied those. There were baby chicks. I got those too. There was an American Indian. There were cowboys. I found a tractor. I copied a sedan. I cut and paste all these images into something that would later be known as "The Funbook."

Some things were so funny as a kid, and then, when you grow up, you reflect on them, and they become funny not for their "content," but for the sophmoricism and immaturity you showed off when you were that age. But the "Funbook," today, is still as funny for its content, and I look through it sometimes. I put a pumpkin man in a hot air balloon, and then used "Macdraw" to modify it. I had a baby chick driving a police car, hustling to a scene where there was a burning building with little pumpkin men running out for their lives. There was an Indian having a conversation with a turkey about what kinds of cookies he liked. One that Johnny still remembers is a picture of a burning earth with a solitary baby chick looking on. The caption said "Why." No reason. Just funny.

As a schoolteacher, I am privy to the concept that kids just want attention, and, moreover, they want attention for being "creative," "fresh," or "unique"--I love the bumper sticker that reads "you're unique . . .just like everyone else." How true this statement is. Honestly, it is kind of pathetic to watch kids try to be so "ultra original" that they just end up looking foolish. As a testament to this, I dont know how many times, per week, year after year, Jane (our office secretary) announces for the girls field hockey team to be dismissed or the freshmen football team to be let out early, or whatever team is travelling away. And always, like clockwork, you get some shamoke--always a boy, I'm afraid--"half stand" up like he is getting dismissed for girls soccer or girls cross country or girl's field hockey. Sometimes, they even gesture that they are going to walk towards the door. I have learned to completely negate these sorts of actions--I dont even dignify shameless attempts at self promotion.

Wait a minute . . .that's this entire blog (wah wah wah trumpet noise)

I guess to each their own, and if its funny to you, then that is all that matters. My friends and I still base 91 percent of our conversations around the Jerky Boys (albums 1 through 5) and MTV's (genius) cancelled sketch comedy show "The State." My wife is both bedazzled and concerned about how in-sync John, Jay, and I are with our language utterances. Sometimes, all she will hear me say on my end of the phone (instead of normal things like 'how is work' or 'how is your one year old son doing?) are things like "I'm up in the chair now," or "I . .. want . . .Wanda!" or "TOR . . . S." These things must make NO sense to you . . .I understand that. But isnt it so wonderful to have people with which to share things are that are so "inside" and arcane to everyone but you?

Camp Greenlaw

Amanda and I are so fortunate in that we have such great neighbors where we live. We have become particularly close with the people who live behind us--Cindy, Dana, Toby, and Stink-a-Moe Greenlaw (Toby is their Yorkie, and Moe is their puppa cat). From about Memorial Day to Labor Day, the Greenlaws live out at their camp on China Lake. At first, when I lived in Maine, I though it was so funny and strange how we have a town near us called "China." But now I think nothing of it. Anyway . . .

Their camp is pristine, and they put an endless amount of time and money into their beautiful spot. They are both the kind of people who love being busy, so a camp like this is perfect for them. I dont think they are ever NOT modifying the home somehow--they just gutted and re-did the bathroom, they installed new windows, they build new docks, and they put copious amounts of time and energy into their landscaping. I've included some pictures, since we are always talking about it to my mom and dad, and I wanted them to see it.

As I've mentioned, we've become pretty good friends with them (Cindy calls Amanda her surrogate daughter), and we go out there to visit often in the summer--although last summer, we seemed to be out there every weekend, and this summer we were so busy. There's a "no no drinking" policy out at camp, so that is always fun. Cindy, the perpetual hostess, is always concocting some fruity blend of the hard stuff, and beer is never difficult to find. Its so relaxing out there; we cruise around on their "party barge," jump in the warm lake to swim, sit on the deck and have snacks and cocktails, and burn the biggest bonfires I've ever seen--they char everything from pallets to sections of old fences to Maine Correctional prisoners. Amanda and I have had many great times out there, so I wanted to share the place with you all.

In other news, we had a good time with the Babiks this evening at Grand Central Cafe in Waterville--they cook up brick oven pizza. Jane has left teaching at WHS for the year, as she is travelling back to Oxford University with Milan, who is finishing his Ph.D this semester. He is smart--he got a FULL scholarship to Oxford to pursue a doctorate in international economics

Perhaps if you're good, there will be more Meanderings coming your way soon . . .