I love winter but......

The last few weeks have been unbelievable in terms of their snowiness and coldness. I'd be hard pressed to find three days this January where the temp went about 20 degrees, and most times its been WAY lower than that....like 0 to 10 above or something. And many nights, of course, hovering around -25 or so. I seriously think the cold DOES something to the human psyche. Why, just last night, I had a dream that it was 75 degrees out; it was beautiful. But, dont get me wrong...I love the winter in Maine!!! Wouldnt trade it for anything!

Perhaps due to wishful thinking, or a tendency to live vicariously through people who live in Mexico, Florida, etc, we bought some mangoes for Callum to try. Amanda had never cut up a mango before, so I gladly stepped in to show her the "proper" way to cut up a mango--by Mexican standards anyway. It brought back beautiful memories of my two summers doing missionary work in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, when the rest of my Holy Cross youth group and I stayed at a covenant within the city; each morning, this corpulent little Mexican women named Rosario would make us REAL cheese quesadillas and have fresh mangoes readily available. Maybe I'll write more about Mexico another time..... Callum really really really loved his mangoes. As you can see, he has this little "mesh" teething ring apparatus, where we can put food within the net, and let him "extract" it through his gumming, chewing, and sucking. Its a pretty neat idea actually--very safe and pretty low on the messiness scale. Okay, not really. But look at him sitting in his big-boy high chair. The high chair didnt quite "hang" properly over our dining room chair....but Daddy, using his Papa Goldsmith "just Mickey Mouse it!" skills, was able to safely make it work. Let's just say I'll be needing another canoe strap before hitting the rivers this summer!

HEY, WHERE'S MY DINNER MUMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Callum absolutely LOVES sitting at the table with the grownups..,..and he looks ridiculously funny doing so! It is almost like he is so "proud" to be able to sit at the table or something. And, actually, just a couple of nights ago, at Governor's Restaurant, he sat in one of those restaurant high chair things for the first time....he's still a little small for it, so we had to "prop" him in there with some blankets, his snow suit, etc. At Governor's he tried mashed potatoes for the first time....AND he got to lick whipped cream off daddy's finger; he very much enjoyed this. His favorite food, as far as vegetables go, still has to be peas.....and he likes just about every fruit he can get his little hands on! And every time he eats (and perhaps its because he is mimicking us) he makes a cute "mmmmmmmm" sound as he gums his food.....

Favorite Children's Books

I've been VERY into kid's books lately. Mostly, this is because children's books are the only things written at my level of comprehension. But, also, Callum Stuart has quite the collection, and we just love reading to him. Although, I have to say, reading to him lately isnt really that fun (can I say that??) because all he wants to do is reach out, grab the book, and put it in his mouth. I guess kids books have just been on my mind lately: A student had a few in class today, as she was going to read them to the elementary students with whom she works after school, we're fresh off our visit to pajamarama story time, and I got notice of the annual young adult literature conference I usually attend in April (its my favorite conference!).

What were your favorite children's books from when YOU were little? It seems like everyone has their all time classics. I thought I would list mine. But before I begin, I think its appropriate to take note of and honor perhaps the greatest American writer of all time--John Updike--who died today. He was in my top three favorite authors, and he could do things with semicolons and sentence structure that would make your hair curl; he was a true artist.

In no particular order, here are my top ten:

1. Charlotte's Web-for some reason I remember reading this when Nana Courtney came to stay with us because my mom was getting surgery for some reason. I love this book.

2. Frankie the Fireman-I loved the pictures of the Dalmatians and the fire engines....and, as I remember, there was a record that accompanied the book. It had a catchy song

3. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing-More like YA lit, but its all good. Before we had JK Rowling, we had Judy Blume. Mrs Spagna, my second grade teacher, read this book aloud to us, and I remember laughing out loud

4. I'm a Big Boy Now-I still have my original copy, duct-taped in certain places. I love the pictures of the elephants learning to use the toilet, and I am sure it will eventually imbue me to follow suit and become potty trained as well!

5. The Apple Hat Guy-This isnt the title....the problem: is that I dont remember the title. All I remember is that my sister and I loved this book, and my dad used to keep it as his house, in a box under his bed. There was a guy wearing a suit and a bowler hat, and he had a big red apple on his head. Or something. Does anyone know what I am talking about?

6. Little Toot-I loved the pictures in this classic kid's book, and I think it was even the precursor to the Thomas the Train books. Its funny how its the small details you remember from your childhood, and I firmly believe that the reason I loved this book so much is because I liked the way the steam looked coming out of the tugboat's smokestack. Seriously. That's the reason!

7. An Axis of Apathy: An exploration into the existentialistic foreign policy ideals of our forefathers (unabridged)-I liked the pictures of the monkeys

8. Grover and the Everything-in-the-whole-wide-world museum-Is that the title? Anyway, you had Grover, and he was taking you on a tour of the museum that had...well...everything in the world! I remember being in awe of how cool a museum like that would actually BE!

9. The Indian in the Cupboard-My mom bought this book for me, because she heard such good things about it from other moms. When she gave it to me, I had never even heard of it. I dont really remember liking the book all that much, but I LOVED the cover....and, moreover, I just think its so great to get a surprise book from someone, because it really tells you they were thinking of you. Picking out a book for someone takes a lot of thought, actually.

10. Just me and my ______-Dad, grandpa, sister, neo-nazi au pair, you name it! I loved these books, and I used to eat them up at all the bookfairs we had at school. The protagonist could have been a groundhog.....or a deformed squirrel....or an obese hamster. But he was wicked cute, and he enjoyed spending time with people he loved.

So what are your favorites????

Beards and such.....

So I just couldnt stand the beard anymore. It was great while it lasted; it came in so handy on outdoor runs and hour-long snowshoes. But it just got to be too much. Also, I found myself constantly playing with it, which was annoying for both me and Amanda. So, after helping the Loftuses move yesterday, I came home and shaved it off. Its so weird not having anything on my face (thats what she said!). So George, the challenge has been made: Your 'stash is next, right? Anyway, here is the "before" picture, right before I shaved it off......And here is the "after."

I guess while I was in the shower, I also managed to get sweet potatoes all over my face AND change into a vest!

This was the first weekend in a great while where we literally had nothing really planned. Except for Friday night, when we took Callum to Barnes and Noble for "Pajamarama Story-time!" Here, local Skowhegan author Lynne Plourde (who wrote PIGS IN THE MUD, AT ONE IN MAINE, and A MOUNTAIN OF MITTENS) signed copies of her books, and read some of them aloud. So we got her to sign CS's copy of AT ONE IN MAINE.....and then Callum had her sign one for his new cousin--Baby Favry. Lynn seemed to really like Callum a lot....how can you blame her!? And, to sweeten the pot even more, it was teacher appreciation night, so they had me fill out a membership card to get discounts on special days, they offered me free books, coffee, pastries, etc, and they gave me 30% off my evening's purchase. What a great deal! Plus, since I am a Phi Bete, I got an extra 70% off. Except I didnt.

Here is Callum in his new high chair. Eventually (as you can see from the hooky-thingys in the back) it will fit right on one of the big-boy chairs. But first Daddy has to rig it up correctly. So, for now, we screwed the legs on, and it sits on the floor.

On Saturday, Amanda, Lynne, and Nacho went to Portland to Babies R Us to get some items for a certain someone. While they were there, I helped friend and colleague Lori Loftus move into their new house....about 4 miles away from their old house. I have a philosophy about helping people move: Always do it. The reason is because a) moving sucks, b) everyone moves, and c)you'll probably move someday and you'll need help. But it was actually pretty fun, and just one more excuse to use just about every "thats what she said" in my arsenal, as we tried to make stuff fit through tight places, packed stuff full, screwed and unscrewed items, slid things into other places, etc.

Today was a slow day. We went to church this morning, and then I actually took a nap this afternoon with Callum--well, not "with" him, but, rather, at the same time. Although, when he is a little older (like a year or so) I bet it will be fun to lie down with him and nap. Callum looked SO handsome in his vest his Nannie got him. He was a hit with all the ladies at church!

And tomorrow is Monday. Tomorrow is also the start of the second semester at WHS, which means I have two new assignments. First of all, my study hall will be replaced with "English Labs" where I will have kids assigned to my room who are failing English. The "labs" are designed to help these kids. Guidance ALMOST gave the English Dept a full day's notice that we were having these!!! (wah wah wah). Second, tomorrow begins my public speaking class, a class I love to teach because I created it from scratch. Its an elective, and I think there are about 15 or so kids taking it. This is also the final week for my intern, Alea. Then I'll be all on my own again....what will I do!!???

What's "really" wrong with America (Meanderings 46)

oops...cant talk now....I'm playin' Simcity.....

You can listen to all the rhetoric all you want. Here are the REAL problems in America:

1. A REAL American University (I cant remember the name...I'll have to go down and check the article in my Men's Health magazine) used REAL taxpayer money to do a REAL study on sleep. What they found: Lullabies, composed by Brahms, helped some patients fall asleep, even though they were self described insomniacs. NO WAY!!! Lullabies help people sleep!!!??? OMG!!!!!!!!!! What an awesome study! Go American University system!!!!!

2. We dont think before we write (and perhaps this applies to this blog...wah wah wah): The other day, our postman delivered everyone a notice describing the dangers posed to the postal service when your driveway and walkway arent cleared of snow and ice. I quote: "Please keep a clear path to and from your mailbox...." Think about this. How could NOT do both at the same time? If you clear a path TO your mailbox, then wouldnt it follow that the path FROM your mailbox would be cleared as well? I have this funny mental image of me, hiding behind a tree, waiting until the mailman walked TO my mailbox (which would be on a clear path), and then me, popping out from behind said tree, shovelling all kinds of snow on the walkway to block his way FROM the mailbox....Also, I wonder how much money the postal service spent on these notices, which should be basic common sense to anyone anyway....

3. We live in a country where the "last hope" for millions of people to escape despair, depression, or even suicide is to "get through to Hollywood" on American Idol. Its absolutely hilarious, yet so sad--people put all their eggs in one basket, so to speak, imploring upon Simon how "this is my last hope" and "there's nothing left for me to do if I dont become the next Idol" or "I've waited my whole entire life for this." I mean, I guess if all else fails, these people could go back and get their G.E.D.s if the whole singing thing doesnt work out.

4. We've taken something so simple, peaceful, individual, as reading a book is....and we've put it on tape. I mean, I love podcasts, NPR, This American Life, etc. But there's just something so aesthetic about holding the pages in your hand and doing the work yourself sometimes.

5. The most popular past time for teens in America is playing fake guitar with a fake band on a tv screen. Guitar Hero, although a brilliant invention, seems so tragic for me; kids could be taking the time to learn the satisfaction of playing a real instrument, making beautiful music, and creating original works. Not to mention getting tons of chicks. But, instead, teens invest HOURS on learning which colored buttons to press. Why? Well, to earn more points. America has turned MUSIC into a COMPETITION.

6. (I apologize to Amanda, Michelle, and Chris for this next one....but c'mon, it makes a great meandering!) In America, we play SIMS. When you play SIMS, you basically do what you'd be doing if you werent playing SIMS. Why is this such an attractive game? My wife is addicted.....and Wal-Crap sells about 7 or 8 versions of it. Have we really become that disenchanted with our own lives? Its a serious question. On another note, I LOVE when Amanda and Michelle play SIMS. Its so cool...they get totally into it!

7. Burger King now has the "ANGRY WHOPPER" meal. So now the Whopper is angry? Why? Did not enough people have to get bypass surgery last year? Does it have a vengeance now? Maybe the Whopper is upset about the economy? At any rate, why do we have to attach emotion to our cheeseburgers? Cant we just eat them? Arent Americans angry enough without their sandwiches following suit?

8. We've taken something so ancient, sacred, and beautiful, and completely Americanized the crap out of it: I'm talking about yoga. Amanda and I used to take yoga at the Dover Yoga Studio in Crap Hampshire. It was the best part of our week. But it was too slow for us Americans--so we had to qualify it with words like "POWER" and "HOT" to describe the yoga. HOT yoga is where they turn the heat WAY up so you sweat like crazy. I do that while I teach Hamlet, and my room is like 58 degrees. No thank you. Somewhere, a totally chilled out Maharishi Maramesh Yogi is smiling. Namaste, Americans.

9. Whereas we used to have to be genuine, thoughtful, compassionate, enduring people to "make" friends, and then put in time to "stay" friends, now we merely "request" them from facebook. No work or time commitment here, right? By the way--I am totally guilty of this. You'd better look out....or I'll superpoke your American ass!

10. Even our ketchup has to be special--while eating dinner the other night, I noticed that our Hannaford brand ketchup was "extra fancy." What the heck does this mean???? Its freakin ketchup--tomatoes, vinegar, spices...nothing all that special, right? What makes it so fancy? The irony is, also: On what types of "fancy" foods does one put ketchup? Ribeye? Lobster? I'm thinking more like burgers, onion rings, and CHITTERLINGS!!!

11. Even in the midst of the worst economic situation in decades, our government (both sides of the aisle) didnt give spending 150 million dollars on an inauguration a second thought. Its the "American way," isnt it? I mean, shouldnt they be setting a good example for the country? Dont get me wrong--this was a momentous occasion in our history, and pomp and circumstance were justified....but 150 million dollars? Do you realize how much money that is??? David Ramesey, popular financial show host and "celebrity," has a great bumper sticker that says "Grow up and act your WAGE!" Cute. Maybe people should listen.

God Bless America

Yes. We. Did.

Inauguration Day, 2009. A fantastic day at school, as Mike Thurston opened up his room for an inauguration viewing party. I feel fortunate to have witnessed today, for I feel it is a monumental day in American history--and not at all because President Obama is "black." To be honest, I feel its unfortunate that so much emphasis is placed on the fact that he is a colored individual--and the irony is that he really "isnt." And, at the very least, he isnt "African American." Not that any of this matters, because it doesnt. And people should stop making such a big deal about it. I respect Mr Obama for the way he keeps playing this off, rather focusing on the fact that we are all AMERICANS. And, I believe this is such a monumental day in American history because this is the first time in a very long time that this nation has been so moved, so inspired, so hopeful, and so loving of their leader. It is not, as they say, "business as usual."

The inauguration was actually pretty interesting and progressive for its religious references, and, if I were a non-Christian, I would probably be pretty upset. But, since I am a Christian who actually remembers that this great nation was founded by Christians with Christian ideals, I thought it was fantastic. Although very ironic. The minister who did the opening prayer is an OUTSPOKEN opponent of gay marriage (see the cartoon...hehe). And he ended his prayer with "in Jesus's name." Also, President Obama quoted scripture (from the Holy Bible). And the minister who did the closing prayer is himself homosexual, and, I found, quite racist in his comments. He'll go down in history I'm sure for his "and the browns can stick around....and the red man can get ahead man...." comedy. But, if you listen closely, the last thing he says is "and whites can do what's right," referring to the way in which whites, according to him, are perhaps the principle "wrong-doers" of our society. This, unfortunately, just continues to propagate more racism, as it creates a rift in our different ethnicity's. How is this not reverse discrimination? It was uncalled for for such a day such as this.


Some druggie they found on the street read a poem (sorry, but what the hell was that???), and Aretha Franklin left her voice at home, under her "big" hat; she made "God Bless America" sound like a cat getting raped. Oh well.

Izhtak Perlman and Yo Yo Ma were spellbinding in their John Williams piece: "Air and Simple Things." Nice to see one of my people (haha) being included in the festivities. Which reminds me.....where were all my Jewish brothers and sisters when Joe Lieberman was making such a noble run for the white house? That was historic, wasnt it? Ha ha....Mazel Tov, my friends....

Well, I'm off to watch the "Neighborhood Ball," where Jamie Fox, the MC, just remarked how "we can tell we have a black president by the way he just danced to that hot Beyonce song." Again, not to propagate more stereotypes or anything....

I look forward to us all being AMERICANS again.

Chitterlings, Broccoli, and CS Goldsmith

If you take the red-eye out of this, this becomes a really adorable picture. Maybe with the power of snapfish, it would be possible. Callum's nightly cycle (that I handle) is as follows: Bath, with plenty of time for kicking, drying off, standing up while leaning against daddy so daddy can later Callum with vaseline for his eczema, going upstairs, getting into pajamas, saying goodnight to his mobile friends on his crib, saying goodnight to his pet-net friends, hand off to mommy for some delicious dinner. Anyway, Callum is really sitting up so well now!

Somebody please tell me: What the hell is wrong with me? (by the way: Ponticelli, come on up and help me eat these!)

I have become pretty much a regular at Joseph's Market in Waterville--and for good reason, as they are the finest local market and butcher shop I've ever seen. I am taking a class there right now, and I'll write about that later! Anyway, I am on Kevin's (the owner) special email list, which advertises "unadvertised" specials he can offer. They are usually fantastic deals on meat--why, just this afternoon, I got a 3# box of bacon "ends and pieces" for 2.39. These will be perfect for my baked beans, split pea soup, etc. AND, I got a couple of whole chickens for .69 cents a pound...under five bucks for two 3# chickens! Okay. I am starting to sound like my Jewish grandfather, who spent 86% of his life looking for deals at Roxy's market in Quincy. I digress. Kevin asked me if I wanted to try the great deal he had on "chittlins." But he wouldnt tell me what they were until I bought them. At 5 bucks for a 10 pound tub, I figured what the heck. At the very least, for five dollars, I could tell a pretty good story (or play a pretty good joke on someone). Neither Kevin, nor Danny, nor Oscar, nor anyone else in the darn store knew a) what they were or b)how to cook them. But I think they knew "very well" what they were selling me. Haha....I knew it had something to do with "soul food," and I am all for that. So I looked it up on-line.

And here, my friends, is why, although I grew up with a Jewish family who ate things like tongue, ground up chicken livers, and head cheese.....and even though I married into a "Philly" family of Scrapple and Pork Roll eaters, I will not be eating Chitterlings:

Chitterlings (often pronounced /ˈtʃɪtlɪnz/ and sometimes spelled chitlins or chittlins in vernacular) are the intestines and rectum of a pig that have been prepared as food

Care must be taken when preparing chitterlings, due to the possibility of disease being spread when they have not been cleaned or cooked properly. These diseases/bacteria include E. Coli and Yersinia enterocolitica, as well as Salmonella. Chitterlings must be soaked and rinsed thoroughly in several different cycles of cool water, and repeatedly picked clean by hand, removing extra fat, undigested food, and specks of fecal matter because the part of the pig the 'chitlins' come from includes intestinal polyps and the last few inches before the pig's rectum.

So now that we have that out of the way, let's play "name that caption."

NO. MORE. BROCCOLI.

He actually loves broccoli....but he also loves to hold his spoon and "help," as it were. He doesnt have very good aim with the spoon yet.....

And here he is....wondering just where his broccoli disappeared to. If you enlarge this picture, you can see a) beautiful little eyes and eyelashes (we dont know where he gets these!) and b) what looks like dried up crap all over his face. But I promise its broccoli. And prunes.

MAINE: MAKING SOMETHING POSITIVE OUT OF SOMETHING NEGATIVE SINCE 1821.

Yeah. So the last few nights have been pretty cold. Kind of. So here is a picture I took at 6 this morning when I finished stoking the stove (it had been ten whole minutes since I last stoked it). Its like fighting a losing battle trying to keep the house warm when its 30 below zero outside. But I'm steadfast in my fight, and committed not to use any jihad oil. It is astronomical when I consider just how much wood we've gone through in the last week. This morning, neither one of the cars would start....and the Subaru actually didnt start at all. Its still sitting in the driveway. While I was bringing in wood tonight (a process which takes maybe ten minutes) I counted four (different) oil trucks crawling down our street. And we dont live on a very long side street.

And it looks like another huge snowstorm on Sunday....

Amanda's Meanderings #1

Hi. Amanda here. I thought I would do my own meanderings blog. I am not really as witty as Jared, so I'll leave the clever meanderings to him. Mine are more sentimental. And here is the first installment...

1. Christmas ornaments. I love them. Mom and Dad used to let Jonathan and I buy a new one every year and now I have them for our tree. I must say that Jared loves some of the ones I picked out. Especially the balloons - right Jared? But I just love ornaments. My favorite ones by far are the ones that used to hang on my grandparents tree. I say 'used to' because two years ago they gave some of my favorites to me to have for my tree. Those and my grandmother's cookie press have to be two of the best gifts I've ever received. The ornaments are antiques, and here are a few pictures:

Don't even ask me what this is. I just like it.

I call these the cupcakes.

2. We have had many Christmases (is this a word?) this year. The latest being at Jonathan and Mel's apartment with my parents, Grandpop, Mel's parents, Jared, Callum and I. And Lub. And clam dip. We had a great dinner of American Chop Suey provided by Dad and some desserts provided by Dotkins. We had the gift exchange for those of us who hadn't exchanged yet and Melathan still had their tree up so the Christmas spirit was alive even though it was January 10. Callum was a very good boy and even went to sleep for a while so Jared and I could stay and visit.

Mel and Jonathan gave Jared a great tie for Christmas. It has Callum's picture all over it. And I got a Callum Goldsmith puzzle! Sorry, you can't really see the tie in this picture...


3. Callum is growing too fast. I feel like time is just slipping away from me and I fear that I'm not going to remember everything that Callum is doing. I have been trying to write in his baby book a few times a week, so I think that will help.

Today, I'm excited to announce, I found his first tooth. Well, Mom actually saw that it was coming a few days ago, but today I actually saw the tooth poking through his gum. It is the cutest thing in the whole world! I'm sorry, but just when I thought this kid couldn't get any more adorable, he goes and gets a tooth. I can't even stand myself. We had a great time this evening cooking dinner for Daddy. We were making a variation on Daddy's favorite dish -- spinach, leek and cheese strudel. Here is Callum keeping track of the wooden spoons for me.

He is getting really good at sitting up by himself so he was sitting on the kitchen floor playing with some spoons and tupperware. I told Jared that we didn't have to get him anything for Christmas -- we could have just given him some kitchen utensils, boxes and wrapping paper and he would have been happy as could be!

Daddy is at his class at Joseph's Market tonight, Callum is sleeping and I'm going to go do some knitting...

Goodnight!

Tuesday Trip

On Tuesdays and Fridays Callum goes to his grammy's for the day, and Amanda picks him up after work. Thus, I have a little bit of time after school to do things like meet friends for coffee, go for longer bike rides (when its not 8 out), and take advantage of the winter to do some snowshoeing. I love getting out in the snow, blazing a trail, and being the only one outside. Its very spiritual and fulfilling to be out in the woods, walking around, taking it all in. So, this afternoon, I took a little walk out on the trails across the street from us. Its kind of neat: You walk down the power line trails in back of Billy Marcoux's house, then you skirt around the Fairfield "little league" field complex, and THEN you find yourself on an expanse of fields, meadows, and trails. I see lots of evidence of snowmobiles, snowshoes, and cross country skis....but I've only ever seen anyone out there once. And I go out there quite a bit. Here's my self portrait. The beard is moving along nicely....

I dont know if you can make this out, but, if you look in the center of the photo, and then go over to the left, you can see a bare white "smudge." This is the trail skirting around the meadow. Soon, the trail leads you into the woods, and actually along the highway of Rt 95 for a while....kids in school tell me that there's a culvert that goes underneath the interstate (a culvert, they say, big enough so you fit two snowmobiles through it). It is my goal to find this culvert. Because if I do, I can connect with the snowmobile trails in Fairfield Center, and then Norrigewock, and then all the way to Canada....if I ever wanted, that is...

Here is a nice shot of the meadow. It was actually snowing out. But it was getting dark, so you cant really see the snow. But boy-oh-boy does the wind love to rip across this field! I feel like I'm on the set of "All Creatures Great and Small" when I'm over here....
I did a little "bush-whacking" this afternoon too. I guess its easy and safe to do on snowshoes, since you cant really get lost (you can see your tracks!). So this was kind of weird: I came across this strange "shack" kind of thing. I dont know if its a hunting cabin, Phi Beta Kappa initiation room, or Satan shack. But its weird. And, apparently, some of it is held together with duct tape....which makes it, inherently, a "Maine" cabin. You can see the duct tape on the right. And for all you middle school English fans who have fond memories of TREASURE ISLAND: I think this little structure looks like the "stockade" in which young Jim Hawkins and Doctor Livesey or however you spell it took refuge from the pirates. Did any of you see the movie?

A nice little trip. And there's supposed to be some REALLY cold weather moving in tonight. So I brought some wood in and, in the words of good old Senor Andresen, we're "hunkering down" by the stove. Have a great night.

We need more English teachers

First, some demotivational posters my sister sent me....

I'm always getting these email forwards and seeing these bumper stickers that say things like "This is America....why should I press #1 for English?" and "Welcome to the USA...now learn English" and the like. I guess I can buy that...to a point. I mean, English is our national language, and if people want to live here, they should learn it--just like I'd have to learn French or Spanish or Farsi if I moved abroad. But that's a different topic for a different day....

I find this "national reverence" for English in the United States to be so ironic; I mean, the same people who are always donning these stupid bumper stickers and sending these redundant emails are the same people who lack mastery over the language themselves. If we want to mandate that foreigners learn English, I think it only fair that we learn to use it correctly in our own lives. So, in that same vein, here are some things I've come across in the newspaper, on store signs, etc in the past few weeks.....and this is ONLY in the past few weeks; just imagine if I went all year (thats what she said).

First, some unclear messages....

1. (on a sign at Thayer Hospital on the OB/GYN floor) "Maine General recommends only breastfeeding until the infant is 6 months old." I wont bore you with the "rules," but suffice to say this is very unclear. Does it mean that after six months you should stop breast feeding? Or does it mean that they recommend "exclusively" breastfeeding for the first six months...and not giving solid foods, etc. to the infant? Very unclear. People could screw up their baby's lives...haha

2. (headline in "The Morning Sentinel," our pathetically written local newspaper) "Home for retarded kids in danger." Is the home for kids who are both retarded AND in danger? Do people want to hurt these retarded kids? OR, is the home itself in some kind of danger...like there is a huge oak tree leaning precariously against the roof?

3. (also in the Sentinel, this was written underneath a photograph of two people walking down a slushy winter street) "Joe Schmo and Bob Figabob try to avoid puddles walking down Main St in Waterville." Uh oh! Look out!!!!!! There are huge puddles....and they have feet...and they're walking towards you!!!!

4. (in a local supermarket ad before Christmas) "We want to wish everyone a safe and happy Christmas. And especially all our troups oversees."

5. (on the invoice for the futon we just bought at Winslow Mattress and Futon) "Rest assured with our comfort garuntee...return with confidence for 30 days"

6. (on a NASCAR store sign in Winslow....the PERMANENT sign for the business) "NASCAR collectables for sale"

7. (at Midas Car Care in Waterville) "Free breake inspection." First of all, "breake" isnt even a real word. And second, why would I want someone working on my car if they couldnt even spell what they are working on? Would I want my doctor to say he was going to fix my hyart?

8. (at a local restaurant, on their board) "Serving old fashion baked goods." "Fashion," in this case, is used as a noun, when it should be used as an adjective. It should be "old fashionED."

9. (in the Sentinel, again, when the published an article about a local school collecting firewood and then donating it to the needy for heating assistance) "The school will be excepting donations until Friday of this week." This is a reporter who wrote this. One of this person's only jobs is to write correctly. And they didnt do it.

10. (sign in a local store, explaining their policy in the advent of a storm) "We will be open whether permitting on Wednesday."

I've changed some of the names so as not to exploit these places. Also, I am sure I'll get lots of nasty comments (because those are the only one people seem to make lately) about how this post is so elitist, etc. But its not. If you are proud of your country, and the fact that we speak English here (and not German, Japanese, or Arabic), then show some respect by learning how to write it and speak it correctly. Dont rely on computers to do it for you your whole life. That's all.

This blog

is boring me lately. I just dont really feel into it. But whatever. The winter blues I guess. I love the winter, mostly because I love the cold, I love the couch and the woodstove, and I love getting outside for a good snowshoe. But its hard with Callum.....not that I would trade Callum for the world! But I'm just not getting outside as much, and its getting me down. And I put my bike on its trainer, but that is CLEARLY not working....its incredibly boring, and, while fake riding today, I decided that the whole point of exercise is to be outside, get fresh air, and move around. How can staying in one place for 40 minutes be motivating or impassioning? Why, I'm no better than the morons who do the Wii Fit if I ride in place. So I guess I just need to get up earlier and get outside....Amanda got me some great winter exercise gear like ice grippers for the bottom of my sneakers (so I can run on icy roads) and "Under Armour" winter gear tops. I love cycling because I love being outside, I love moving up and down hills, and I love the scenery. Even though my basement has a cool beer bottle collection, what is the point of riding in place?

Anyway, this morning at church Callum did something funny: At our church, when people take communion, they all go up to the front, two rows at a time, and kneel on the kneerests around the altar. The pastor comes around and gives the communion host to each individual, one at a time. When the pastor came to Callum, he rested his hand on top of his head to bless him, and Callum took two swipes to try and grab the brass dish containing the "body of Christ." When that didnt work, Callum lunged his whole body, practically coming out of my arms, in a a final attempt to grab the wafers. I guess Callum really loves God....or just shiny brass things.....

After church, we came home to put together our new futon, which was delivered yesterday. Callum was all set to help with his tools.....

His new hammer is awesome, and we wouldnt have been able to put together the futon without it. Thanks Callum!

And Daddy did some of the "finer tuning" while Callum took his fourth lunch break.....notice Callum's swing in the top center of the photo. He's getting to be such a big boy, and we're already finding stuff that is "obsolete" with him. The swing is one of these things; actually, he never really was that much into the swing in the first place. Thats what she said.

Callum likes to take "thumb breaks," as we call them, where, while doing something like eating carrots or apple sauce, jumping in his jumparoo, or laughing with his mommy, he suddenly "drops" everything and sucks his thumb. He likes when you join him, and here Amanda is mimicking Callum. Obviously, Callum is very much amused. And here is the finished product. Its very comfortable on which both to sit and lie down--and its actually really really heavy! So for those of you who come up to visit, this is where you can sleep now. We gave the bed to charity. Its a nice futon.....too bad I'll never enjoy it, since its Amanda's crap (craft) room, and I can't bear to go in there with the mess.....

Meanderings 45: 4 rants and 1 sentimental thought

1. "Not all who wander are lost." Correct. Just lazy as hell. Get a job, hippie.....I'm tired of seeing these bumper stickers on the back of 1977 volvo wagons

2. I threw away the paper, and I'm upset about that! There was a fantastic picture of a guy from Vassalboro who was ice fishing on China Lake (last week was the beginning of the season for that up here). The guy sat in his chair, his ice trap set; yet, about 15 feet away from him, was completely open water. This guy is a moron for two reasons: First, what he was doing was exorbitantly dangerous. No question. But second, I want to know why he would drag a 50 pound ice auger out to his spot, drill the hole, and set the trap, when he could have just taken 10 steps and then taken a cast with his normal, everyday, less-than-two-pound fishing rod. Welcome to Maine.

3. I dont know about you, but I feel terribly bad for the 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9 numbers on the microwave....they're kind of the ugly, neglected stepchildren of the microwave number console, and that's really too bad. 1, 3, and 0 get most of the limelight, since, let's face it, everyone microwaves stuff for either a 1:00 or 1:30. I guess RARELY 2:00 might get hit. But what about the 6 or 7? They're often left out. To save time and production cost, why do they even have a 6, 7, 8, or 9 on the touchpad? No one hardly uses it.....if something takes 8 minutes, then hit the "1" button repeatedly 8 times. To remedy this, and to bring true equanimity to my fellow microwave numbers, I often heat something up for some eccentric amount of time, like instead of 1:00, I might do 58 seconds. Or, instead of 1:30, I might do 1:19 and then heat it again for 8 seconds. Ya know....just to spice it up a bit. I like to get out of my "1:30" rut.

4. I've realized lately that I use many ellipses in my writing; an ellipses, if you arent aware, is when you see these....three or four dots at the end or in the middle of the sentence. I'm sorry about this overuse....and, what's more, I find that ENDING a sentence with an ellipses seems to add a certain "smugness" to the "voice" of what I'm writing. For example, "Bush was a fantastic president...." or "I like to get out of my 1:30 microwave rut...." or "I really encourage you to comment on this blog...." What a jerk! Its like you can somehow "see" an arrogant little face, lips pursed, shoulders lightly swaying back and forth, and hear a short, deliberate nose exhale whenever you see one of these ellipses; and you can almost "hear" a "hmm hmm hmm " at the end of the sentence. So sorry about that....

5. If you want to get an idea just how apathetic, discompassionate, and "using" Americans are, consider the dismal yearly post-Christmas phenomenon of people throwing their "used" Christmas trees out on the street or the end of their driveways. This, in itself, is one of the saddest events of the year as far as I'm concerned. How about a little respect people? Seriously. I know its not the American flag or something, but think about it: This tree was carefully picked out, meticulously decorated, and venerated by you, your spouse, your kids, and your holiday company for a month. You entrusted it with "guarding" the special gifts you bought your wife or your son, you adorned it with family heirloom ornaments that tell stories dating back generations, you gathered around on one of the happiest mornings of the year, Christmas morning, you carefully watered it every night to keep it fresh, and you may have even sung a song about it. For that month, the tree is almost "exalted." And then, on December 26th, 27th, or 30th, you strip it of all its dignity, brashly carry it through the house, taking heed not to "pollute" your floor with any of its needles, and proceed to toss it out to the curb, where it sits alone, in dirty, mottled snow, for sometimes weeks. It is, again, so sad; there is no reverence, and once they have served our purpose, we toss them. Ours is out on the lawn right now, and I feel sort of bad about it. If we had more land---woods, field, etc--I know I would erect a Christmas Tree "resting place" where I could (and someday will) pile all our old trees. As a sign of respect for what they've done for us.

Something.

Hi. Here are some popular television shows that could also be the names of "Adult Films." Enjoy, and please add some of your own.

Make room for daddy

My three sons

Just the ten of us

Different Strokes

Private Benjamin

Let's make a deal

Double Dare (especially if you take the Physical Challenge)

3-2-1- Contact

The Facts of Life

Three's Company

Happy Days

I love Lucy

Sanford and son

All in the Family

Today's Special (Nickelodeon)

Leave it to Beaver

Are you being served

Friday Night Lights

Good Times

Mr Wizard (come on....an old guy who invites kids over his house to do "experimental" things?)

Full House

Blossom

You can't do that on television

Designing Women

Will and Grace

The Unit

Northern Exposure

Thirtysomething

Perfect Strangers

The Dick Van Dyke show.....

And here are a few candy bars/treats that work in the same way.....

Skittles

Mounds

Milky Way

Skor

Ding Dongs

Fudge Rounds.....

And for those of you who actually read this, here is your reward: Callum in his "Bumbo Seat." Wicked Cute. He sits in this while he eats since he is still a little too small for his high chair. Yes he is wearing a life jacket. Look at this seat for crying out loud! Look at his little drumstick legs! What's he storing in those cheeks?

He isnt such a fan of green beans anymore. And he didnt really like applesauce. Actually, his favorite thing seems to be peas! And tonight Daddy gave him some pears for dessert. Tomorrow, on the recommendation of Papa Goldsmith, we're going to try lobster sauce.....

Catching up.....

Ya know, its funny; when I DO post a blog, no one comments. But when I go on vacation for a few days, everyone pees their pants calling me, emailing me, and commenting on how I need to write more blogs. Oh well. I do need to play catch up a bit, since I was TOTALLY on vacation this week--with blogs, with exercise, etc. I enjoyed every minute of it, and now I am back in the mindset for school tomorrow. The truth is, with family and friends visiting, I just havent really felt like writing anything. And, even tonight, as I write this, I see that there arent really that many photos per se; rather, we took a lot of video over the last week (thats what she said!)

Kristin and Anthony came up last Tuesday night, and we had a great time. Anthony and I had a "guys day" where we went to the butcher shop, Hannaford, oil change place, breakfast, and Joseph's clothing so Anthony could buy a pair of boots. Later that afternoon, we went for a snowshoe across the street on some of the trails; Anthony borrowed Dana's snowshoes, and, even though they kept falling off of him, we had a nice walk in the woods. We ate a lot, played with Callum, played some games, and looked at some old pictures, which I've been trying to organize in boxes. Below, Kris and Amanda look enthralled checking out old Acadia National Park photos, shots of former holiday parties, etc.

I came across lots of old music photos, and I tried to "take pictures" of old pictures. When I was in college, and living outside Portsmouth NH, I had a pretty busy musical and performing "plate." I miss that a lot. I'd be playing out all the time, and I still consider performing live music my favorite thing in the world. Below, Lucia Nazarro (a girl with whom I used to play) Craig Werth (friend, mentor, and musical genius) and I play a live radio show in studio--we performed 1.5 hours of live sets. I love this stuff, and need to get back into it!

We also played Spinners, a really fun domino game. The Favrys just love Spinners, and we usually play it when they come up. I like the shapes it makes on the table

And on New Year's Eve (my least favorite night of the year) we had Jon and Mel over and we got Asian Cafe (of course!). We ended up playing a few rounds of Pop 5, a Cranium game, while enjoying some lovely adult beverages, buffalo chicken dip, and lots of snacks.

It was a very family filled week and I am glad. Tomorrow is back to school, although my intern will, at this point, be taking my classes for the month of January. So that will be pretty interesting for me--kind of like Tom Brady sitting out while Matt Cassel takes his position....haha. Not that I am in any way a Tom Brady....

Here are some things that we hope (and think) Callum will learn from his family and friends in 2009.....

MOM: Sewing, knitting, procrastinating

DAD: songwriting, public speaking, catastrophizing minute events

NANNIE: buying gifts that benefit some sort of cancer society, interior decorating, utilizing clubhouse spaces

PAPA GOLDSMITH: Asian menu fluency, pharmacy logistics, ball-busting

PB: Eddie Bauer product matching, condo by-law proficiency

BABS: used self help book analysis, liberal studies

GRAMMY: The pros and cons of "auto delivery," how to be believe everything you hear on Glenn Beck, puzzles

GRAMPY: How to watch the first or last 20 minutes of every movie ever made, how to make enchiladas, cheese selection science

Thats all for now....I'm tired. I want to go read or something....

your thoughts?