Meanderings 45: 4 rants and 1 sentimental thought

1. "Not all who wander are lost." Correct. Just lazy as hell. Get a job, hippie.....I'm tired of seeing these bumper stickers on the back of 1977 volvo wagons

2. I threw away the paper, and I'm upset about that! There was a fantastic picture of a guy from Vassalboro who was ice fishing on China Lake (last week was the beginning of the season for that up here). The guy sat in his chair, his ice trap set; yet, about 15 feet away from him, was completely open water. This guy is a moron for two reasons: First, what he was doing was exorbitantly dangerous. No question. But second, I want to know why he would drag a 50 pound ice auger out to his spot, drill the hole, and set the trap, when he could have just taken 10 steps and then taken a cast with his normal, everyday, less-than-two-pound fishing rod. Welcome to Maine.

3. I dont know about you, but I feel terribly bad for the 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9 numbers on the microwave....they're kind of the ugly, neglected stepchildren of the microwave number console, and that's really too bad. 1, 3, and 0 get most of the limelight, since, let's face it, everyone microwaves stuff for either a 1:00 or 1:30. I guess RARELY 2:00 might get hit. But what about the 6 or 7? They're often left out. To save time and production cost, why do they even have a 6, 7, 8, or 9 on the touchpad? No one hardly uses it.....if something takes 8 minutes, then hit the "1" button repeatedly 8 times. To remedy this, and to bring true equanimity to my fellow microwave numbers, I often heat something up for some eccentric amount of time, like instead of 1:00, I might do 58 seconds. Or, instead of 1:30, I might do 1:19 and then heat it again for 8 seconds. Ya know....just to spice it up a bit. I like to get out of my "1:30" rut.

4. I've realized lately that I use many ellipses in my writing; an ellipses, if you arent aware, is when you see these....three or four dots at the end or in the middle of the sentence. I'm sorry about this overuse....and, what's more, I find that ENDING a sentence with an ellipses seems to add a certain "smugness" to the "voice" of what I'm writing. For example, "Bush was a fantastic president...." or "I like to get out of my 1:30 microwave rut...." or "I really encourage you to comment on this blog...." What a jerk! Its like you can somehow "see" an arrogant little face, lips pursed, shoulders lightly swaying back and forth, and hear a short, deliberate nose exhale whenever you see one of these ellipses; and you can almost "hear" a "hmm hmm hmm " at the end of the sentence. So sorry about that....

5. If you want to get an idea just how apathetic, discompassionate, and "using" Americans are, consider the dismal yearly post-Christmas phenomenon of people throwing their "used" Christmas trees out on the street or the end of their driveways. This, in itself, is one of the saddest events of the year as far as I'm concerned. How about a little respect people? Seriously. I know its not the American flag or something, but think about it: This tree was carefully picked out, meticulously decorated, and venerated by you, your spouse, your kids, and your holiday company for a month. You entrusted it with "guarding" the special gifts you bought your wife or your son, you adorned it with family heirloom ornaments that tell stories dating back generations, you gathered around on one of the happiest mornings of the year, Christmas morning, you carefully watered it every night to keep it fresh, and you may have even sung a song about it. For that month, the tree is almost "exalted." And then, on December 26th, 27th, or 30th, you strip it of all its dignity, brashly carry it through the house, taking heed not to "pollute" your floor with any of its needles, and proceed to toss it out to the curb, where it sits alone, in dirty, mottled snow, for sometimes weeks. It is, again, so sad; there is no reverence, and once they have served our purpose, we toss them. Ours is out on the lawn right now, and I feel sort of bad about it. If we had more land---woods, field, etc--I know I would erect a Christmas Tree "resting place" where I could (and someday will) pile all our old trees. As a sign of respect for what they've done for us.