I'm always getting these email forwards and seeing these bumper stickers that say things like "This is America....why should I press #1 for English?" and "Welcome to the USA...now learn English" and the like. I guess I can buy that...to a point. I mean, English is our national language, and if people want to live here, they should learn it--just like I'd have to learn French or Spanish or Farsi if I moved abroad. But that's a different topic for a different day....
I find this "national reverence" for English in the United States to be so ironic; I mean, the same people who are always donning these stupid bumper stickers and sending these redundant emails are the same people who lack mastery over the language themselves. If we want to mandate that foreigners learn English, I think it only fair that we learn to use it correctly in our own lives. So, in that same vein, here are some things I've come across in the newspaper, on store signs, etc in the past few weeks.....and this is ONLY in the past few weeks; just imagine if I went all year (thats what she said).
First, some unclear messages....
1. (on a sign at Thayer Hospital on the OB/GYN floor) "Maine General recommends only breastfeeding until the infant is 6 months old." I wont bore you with the "rules," but suffice to say this is very unclear. Does it mean that after six months you should stop breast feeding? Or does it mean that they recommend "exclusively" breastfeeding for the first six months...and not giving solid foods, etc. to the infant? Very unclear. People could screw up their baby's lives...haha
2. (headline in "The Morning Sentinel," our pathetically written local newspaper) "Home for retarded kids in danger." Is the home for kids who are both retarded AND in danger? Do people want to hurt these retarded kids? OR, is the home itself in some kind of danger...like there is a huge oak tree leaning precariously against the roof?
3. (also in the Sentinel, this was written underneath a photograph of two people walking down a slushy winter street) "Joe Schmo and Bob Figabob try to avoid puddles walking down Main St in Waterville." Uh oh! Look out!!!!!! There are huge puddles....and they have feet...and they're walking towards you!!!!
4. (in a local supermarket ad before Christmas) "We want to wish everyone a safe and happy Christmas. And especially all our troups oversees."
5. (on the invoice for the futon we just bought at Winslow Mattress and Futon) "Rest assured with our comfort garuntee...return with confidence for 30 days"
6. (on a NASCAR store sign in Winslow....the PERMANENT sign for the business) "NASCAR collectables for sale"
7. (at Midas Car Care in Waterville) "Free breake inspection." First of all, "breake" isnt even a real word. And second, why would I want someone working on my car if they couldnt even spell what they are working on? Would I want my doctor to say he was going to fix my hyart?
8. (at a local restaurant, on their board) "Serving old fashion baked goods." "Fashion," in this case, is used as a noun, when it should be used as an adjective. It should be "old fashionED."
9. (in the Sentinel, again, when the published an article about a local school collecting firewood and then donating it to the needy for heating assistance) "The school will be excepting donations until Friday of this week." This is a reporter who wrote this. One of this person's only jobs is to write correctly. And they didnt do it.
10. (sign in a local store, explaining their policy in the advent of a storm) "We will be open whether permitting on Wednesday."
I've changed some of the names so as not to exploit these places. Also, I am sure I'll get lots of nasty comments (because those are the only one people seem to make lately) about how this post is so elitist, etc. But its not. If you are proud of your country, and the fact that we speak English here (and not German, Japanese, or Arabic), then show some respect by learning how to write it and speak it correctly. Dont rely on computers to do it for you your whole life. That's all.
9 comments:
Great post! I love reading these errors. I completely agree with everyone (not just foreigners) in this country learning English, but I'm going to call you out on one point (because I can). Your puddle example from the Sentinel is not from the past few weeks. One of your colleagues pointed that out to me about a year ago. It was a horrendous and hilarious error though so it's understandable if it still sticks out that clearly in your mind.
hey, ja. axtually, the u.s. doesn't have a national language although 82% of the population speaks English (Wikipedia). the rest speak text.
ttyl
and yes there's an unintentional grammatical error in there. i suck.
woops. you are right WHS alum....I did stick that puddle example in there, even though it was from last year....but the rest are as fresh as the new fallen snow. But the puddle example, as you say, has been "recycled." So you should be happy about that....haha
ps. John, I didnt know you were "textually active." Hilarious. That should be another post....actual "texty" responses I've gotten on papers and tests in my class. You make me LMAO John Francic!
I donn't sea the problum. I think your making a bid deel outa nuthing.
fo' sho'
I'd like to see the pictures from your other "Christmas" at Melathan's house. More on that please!
Why do kids need to learn how to spell today, all their computers have spell check!!!!!
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