Meanderings 50!!! (Wow...50 lists of crap!!!)

(in the reflection, you can see Callum trying to grab the camera)

(a caption is needed here!)

1. Libraries are the only places in the world that require you to completely and selfishly use them for free in order to support them; think about that. The best way to help out, support, and patronize your local library is to take things, for free, from them. And, when your selfishness shines through and you forget to return your stuff on time, they merely ask for something like 31 cents or something like that. Where else does this happen in America?

2. Hockey is a funny sport in that it is the only sport I can think of that attempts to "publicly" shame its players for doing "bad things" in the game. The penalty box is so stupid, that it almost HAD to be invented by Canadians....I mean, does it really have have any effect on the players themselves? Do players "fear" that box, since they know they will be embarrassed if they are "put on display" for others to scoff at them? I mean, the idea in theory works because one team is thus left at a disadvantage because they are down one player....but for crying out loud, just have them sit out on the bench with the rest of the team, and stop this quasi-Puritanical public punishment. I mean, if you are going to do it, do it right! Like, waterboard them for two minutes....or have them be beat while they are in there.....or have the penalty box be smeared with animal and human fecal matter....or, in order to get "out" of the penalty box, have them have to eat the discarded toe-nail clippings from old veterans in area nursing homes. Or at least have the fans throw tomatoes at them or something....

3. Callum has a little dog he got from his Nannie, and when you press the dog's paw, the dog sings songs. Except (obviously) its now the dog singing, but the recorded voice of some woman who was contracted by Fisher-Price to sing 30 second kid's songs. So I guess that is my first meandering on this subject: Someone's job description reads as following--"25 second children's song singer for recording box inside kid's plastic and stuffed toys." Is that what they put on the resume?

4. One of the songs sung on this stuffed dog is the "ABC" song. Puzzlingly enough, the singer performs the piece with great gusto....and even bravado. I just dont think I could put a lot of passion, feeling, and heart into singing the ABC song. I mean, she just sounds stupid. Furthermore, I dont find myself putting the same effort into "Its a great big colorful world out there" as I do into an Elton John or John Mayer cover. Just saying. I wonder if they coached her while she performed...."come on....put some heart into this!! On the 'P' before the 'Q' you definitely sounded a little flat.....let me hear your soul, girl!!!!"

5. Why can't holidays and important events ever just exist in a linear straight-away fashion? Why do they all have to be on some kind of grid system or "switchback" sort of road? Christmas is always "just around the corner" from Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is "just around the corner" from Halloween, etc. What the hell is with all these corners? Someone is going to get hurt! Why can't Memorial day be "just ahead" or Patiots day? I mean, at least have the winter holidays be on a straight road, since it is often times snowy and slippery, and if New Years is just around the corner from Christmas, we might be looking at a potential accident if people dont pump their brakes.....

6. Here are some weird foods that seem to be synonymous with each other, and I can't figure out why....We just sort of take for granted that these things go together, but if you think about it, its kind of weird....Maybe you can add some to the list.

Lambchops with MINT JELLY

Hot dogs with BAKED BEANS

chocolate with PEANUT BUTTER

Ham with PINEAPPLES

Apple Pie with CHEDDAR CHEESE

watermelon with SALT

steak with HORSERADISH

Peanut butter and MARSHMALLOW FLUFF