Meanderings 4/Connecticut Pictures

Some fun pictures from this weekend. Our flaming wheelbarrow, the little baby pet kids and Aunt Kristie, Johnny Rockets (for Jay and the Reverend), and the largest blown glass sculpture in the world--taken at Mohegan

1. Why are there all kinds of fancy, medical words for perfectly fine words like "poop," "pee," and spit. Respectively, in the medical community, they are called defecate, urinate, and expectorate. Is this so the doctors can throw their degrees around and belittle the common folk who say poop? Its funny too when they ask a question about a bowel movement or something and they know its wicked funny, but they have to be all professional and use a big word--"Now . . .do you notice any runniness when Thomas defecates into his litter box?" "Expectorate" is one that kills me. It just means spit. Just say spit. When I was younger and had braces, I had a special cinnamon flavored rinse I was supposed to use to prevent cavities. On the prescription label it said "swish around mouth for 30 seconds and then expectorate." I had no idea what that meant, and for the first two weeks I thought I was doing it wrong. Yes, I was too lazy to go look it up.

2. Remember Minnie Driver from GOOD WILL HUNTING? I almost forgot her. She has a new album out. Or, should I say, she has an album out. She is one of those rare people who walk a very fine line between being very ugly and very good beautiful. And I can't figure out which. Do you know what I mean?

3. We were all in Yankee Candle at Mohegan Sun this past weekend. Aren't they eventually going to run out of scents? I don't think so, since what is hot lately is combining east/west smells together to make "fusion smells." "Green Tea Cactus" and "Lotus Cranberry" and crap like that. They can go on forever . . .darn!!

4. They have tried to replicate the best smell in the world---wood fire. It doesnt smell anything like it. Why? Its called "Fireside." I want to know when they are going to make an "Unleaded Gas Fume" candle that smells like it does when you get gas pumped at Mobil or Irving. You all know what I mean . . .don't deny it. Funny thing about gas--it smells so much different when you get it pumped than it does when you pour it over your hands and smell it

5. I walked into a Shell station to pay for gas the other day, and on the door, taking up WELL over half of the glass space, was a huge sign that read "No shirts, no shoes, no service." Why do gas stations get so bent out of shape about this when no one else seems to mind? You don't see these signs anywhere else than on gas station doors and windows. I've never seen one on a restaurant. And I've never even seen one in the mall. Are there really that many people walking around in the world without shirts on that need mentos? And who the heck walks around barefoot anyway?

And furthermore, when did gas stations become these "pillars of ethics, cleanliness, and manners"--attributes their sign suggests? Inside these places, one can purchase "Hustler," "Colt 45," rolling papers, and tiny women's thongs rolled up and put on top of a plastic green stem so that the whole thing looks like a "rose" (ask Johnny Crockett). Not to mention, the employees of these establishments rape hundreds upon hundreds people per day when they take money from customers paying for gas . . . .

6. I am surprised their aren't any Canadian terrorists---or just really pissed off Canadians. Everything costs more there, and publishers, shopowners, and manufacturers really rub it in their faces. On just about every book you buy, it gives a price of, lets say $5.95, and then, right under it, it says $6.95 in Canada. If I was a rebellious teen who thought they knew about politics, and I lived in Canada, this would really start to get me down, and I'd protest. Its like they have to rub in just-how-much-little-better it is in the USA. I bet it gets really depressing for the Canadians to see how they're always paying "just a little" more.

7. Sometimes during the course of sports seasons, teams have "throwback days" where they wear these archaic team colors and jerseys from an era gone buy. The same is true for things like Irish festivals and the Scottish Highland Games--they preserve their heritage.

I think countries fighting in wars should have "throwback week" where we stop with the "smart bombs" and the C-130s, and the "RPGs," and just have good old fashioned war fighting. Ya know . . .just to spice it up a bit and get some positive publicity and such and such. Middle Eastern countries could use chariots, hot tar, catapults, and spears, and we Americans could use bow and arrows, tomahawks, and single shot black powder muzzle loaded muskets. Heck, even give some of the younger recruits a slingshot. I think this would be good for morale for everyone.