Meanderings 25-In the recent media

1. Recently, an Afghan tribal chief was assassinated, and the Taliban is to blame. This isnt suprising, but what is interesting is the usage of the word "assassinate." How important do you have to be to be considered "assassinated" vs just regular "murdered?" There is a whole set of different words for rich people, did you ever notice that? Rich people become "bankrupt" while regular people just become "poor." Regular people "steal" stuff, and rich people are guilty of "extortion." Regular people just make fun of other regular people, but when rich people do it, it is considered "slander." What's with the doublespeak? I taught a whole unit on doublespeak this past fall for my public speaking class, and maybe I will write a whole blog on the subject. Its pretty funny. Anyway, I hope someday I am important enough to be assassinated . . .not just murdered.

2. Yesterday George Bush (the one who LEGALLY got elected) gave his endorsement to John McCain. If I were McCaine, I'd very kindly . . .no wait, I'd IMPLORE . . .that the Bush's stay as far the hell away from me as posssible. I dont think I'd want to be connected in any possible way to the Bush monarchy. That's just me.

3. The Post Office is raising the price of the stamp again. The Post Office really pisses me off, and here is why: First of all, the post office has, for decades and decades, enjoyed a very cushy place within the sphere of American capitalism. They are seemingly free from any anti-trust suits (who else could deliver your regular daily mail?), and they can regulate whatever the heck they want--they raise the price of stamps at will, and even your mailbox has to be "approved" by the "postmaster general" (like he is some ranking military officer or something). Finally, after over a hundred years of sitting in the "catbird seat," someone is giving the post office a little competition, with the onset of things like email, electronic bill paying, etc. And how does the post office react? They just raise their prices. And that is wrong. Our country is built on capitalism, and other businesses seem to thrive, adjust, and adapt to competition . . .and usually it is in the best interest of the customer. For example, consider Blockbuster Video. With the popularity of "Netflix," Blockbuster was losing business big time, since it was obviously more convenient to order movies at home on the computer than drive all the way to the store to get some arrogant pimply teen to give you attitude. Did Blockbuster respond by "punishing" their customers with higher prices? No. Instead, they used a little business savvy to try to compete with Netflix--they, too, offered movies through the mail, on a special monthly plan. PLUS, they offered the customer the opportunity to come in and get the movie themselves . . .so they didnt have to wait for the mail (which is often unreliable)to deliver it. Competition drives business. The Post Office should be "kissing our butts" (pardon the colloquialism) trying to get and keep our business. But they dont. They maintain their arrogant, precocious attitudes . . . .and instead penalize the consumers for utilizing what I THOUGHT was a free market.

4. Kosovo declares their independence from Bosnia. Congrats! Now we have another sovereign terrorist nation. But good for them. Seriously. Its so funny to listen to the news and hear about countries like the US, England, and France congratulate them. But its even funnier to listen to how countries like Spain, Greece (Timmy, y u be buggin'?), and Russia refuse to "recognize" Kosovo as an independent entity. Their reasoning is because they feel if they recognize Kosovo's independence, then it will "set a precedent" for other separatist groups (Spain's Basques for example) to declare their own independence. Isnt that the WHOLE POINT of declaring independence? The idea that "separatists" (doublespeak for colonists, pilgrims, tribes, races, communities, etc) made the conscious decision to NOT want to be oppressed by their current government? Furthermore, Russia called Kosovo's move "illegal and an egrigious crime." Umm . . .yeah . . .isnt that the point? Are revolutions usually amicable for both sides? I dont think so. Of course its "illegal." That's the whole point, and that's why we have things like the Revolutionary War, etc. But that's just me.

5. Finally: 2 stupid liberal politicians. One, a legislator in the Allagash (way north for all you non- Mainers) wants to make it illegal for minors to buy "highly caffeinated drinks" like Jolt, Red Bull, Monster Energy drink, etc. He admits there is no scientific evidence for this ban, but he just thinks caffeine is detremental to kids. Yeah, lets regulate everything. Let's also ban Cheetos and Doritos because kids can get fat. And lets only let them buy one can of coke at a time, since two cans contains MORE caffeine than one of these red bulls (Allagash politician doesnt know that). Oh, and Eliot Spitzer, the Democratic governor of New York, has proposed the idea of taxing drug dealers on their "bulk stashes" of illegal narcotics before they are sold on the street. This so-called "crack tax" is totally serious. I wont even write about the stupidness of this . . .you can ponder this one on your own