Meanderings 41 (but no pictures)

1. Here are more people who piss me off: Those folks who say "Absofruitly!" when you ask them if they want something.

2. People call The Korean War "The Forgotten War." Well, I call Halloween "the forgotten holiday." Its precariously wedged right in between your "summer" decor, and then your winter/Christmas decor; the Halloween and Autumn decorations have such a short "window" of time that they often get neglected. What usually happens, and I find this to be so funny, is that people "force" fall onto their households--going applepicking, making scarecrows out of still green leaves, and baking pies and breads....all while it is still late September and 85 degrees outside. We like to don our sweaters, barn coats, etc, as if that will make a difference. And, to add to that, the transition from the often transient Autumn to the doldrums of winter is so sudden and abrupt, that the Halloween decorations remain until the following spring--the snow melts and one can see rotted pumpkin carcasses, decaying leave piles, and soggy orange trashbags, with black jack-o-lantern faces on them, haphazardly lying on the wet ground. Its very sad. People often stop caring about fall pretty fast....its "bring on Christmas!!"

3. Every other week, it seems, the medical or science community is looking for free press, so they fudge some study that says water/plastic/showering/eating protein/breathing air causes cancer, leads to macular degeneration, and puts people at risk for a case of "hot dog fingers." What's so annoying, however, is this arcane and ambiguous language these "professionals" use to admonish the public: "Well, I wouldnt say RUN OUT and replace your plastic water bottles...but I would definitely caution you to walk fast to the nearest store." " People dont need to use PANIC, but they 'do' need to use severe caution when considering driving a hybrid car." "We dont need to 'drastically change' the way we brush our teeth, but we should 'severely alter' our techniques." What the hell are they talking about?? Save me the doublespeak, and if you think sleeping on a mattress is going to cause cancer, then TELL ME. How are we supposed to interpret these metamessages? JEEZ!!!

4. Outside a restroom VERY CLOSE to where I work, there is a sign that shows the "man" icon (the little white guy), the "woman" icon (the little white girl in a dress), and the "handicap" icon (the little white stick figure perfectly molded to its wheelchair). If I was a severely left civil rights activist, which I am not, I would take umbrage at this sign--it implies that this restroom is for "men," "women," and "handicaps." Does this, then, mean that handicap people are hermaphroditic? Do they possess a "sex?" Or are they just sort of "all thrown in together?" Let's show some respect.

5. Every morning on my drive to school I see a car parked outside a well-known insurance agency. Every morning. There is a bumper sticker on the car that reads: Those who REALLY care about the environment commute by bike: Join the revolution." I'll let you guys figure out this irony for yourselves....I've got crap to do....

6. India just sent its first mission to the moon. Hey, congratulations with that!! Look out world--India is about to be our next HUGE competitor! So what if they're 40 years behind us in terms of technology--we should FEAR them. This leads me to my next point: Why the hell are people still going to the moon? The moon is the scientific equivalent of hiking Cadillac Mountain instead of the Knife Edge Trail. What is left to learn about the moon that everyone else hasnt learned in the last 40 years? Does NASA still go to the moon? The moon is SO 1969.....

7. This next one gave me the inspiration for number 3 above. This morning on the news, there was some Ph.D yahoo getting his 15 minutes of fame by proclaiming that most kids Halloween costumes are made with "fire retardant" fabric, and how, according to his studies, this "fire retardant" fabric has chemicals which can seep into skin cells, then going into bloodstreams, and then causing cancer. Way to buzzkill Halloween, you SOFT SERVE!!! But, moreover, this problem seems to have an easy solution.....because as far as I can see, there arent that many trick or treaters catching on fire. Am I wrong? Just saying. USE COTTON you stupid Eugenes.

8. AManda brought this to my attention this morning: If (vice) President Bush REALLY wanted John McSame to win the presidential election, then all he would have to do is endorse Obama? Right?