A Pleasant "Surprise"

So this weekend Amanda's mom threw her a little "surprise" shower--her family from New Jersey made the trip up to "surprise" Amanda. Also, his Nannie, Papa Goldsmith, Auntie KK, and Babs-Babs drove up on Saturday morning. It was nice to see everyone, albeit for a short visit. The Zoo (what we call the New Jerseyians) actually came up on Wednesday night, and they are leaving tomorrow, so we got to spend a few good times with them (also, they gave the bean his first piece of "Phillies" apparel--as you can see from the above photo!). I brought our camera, but I didnt get to take any photos . . .so all these pictures are credited to George (thanks George).

It is pretty overwhelming getting so much stuff, and for now we have just made a huge pile in Thomas's room. And, in a month when my mom throws her a shower for the "Mass. Crowd," I know we will get another huge load.

Okay . . .sorry this is so short . . .my computer is driving me crazy . . .for some reason, I have a WICKED slow Internet connection tonight, and its making me angry. Its like typing underwater or something. See you tomorrow!

Cpl. Wallace LaFountain, 28th Infantry U.S. Army

I had a very special guest in my Block 4 class today--a man who, in addition to being somewhat of a teaching and coaching legend at Winslow High School, is also an award winning soldier from the Battle of the Bulge during WWII. I have mentioned before how, in one of my English classes, we are reading THE LONGEST WINTER by Alex Kershaw. This book examines a platoon of the 99th Division Intelligence and Reconnaissance. The men who made up this platoon held off the major thrust of the German advance on the morning of the Battle of the Bulge . . .and they only surrendered after they ran out of ammo. They spent a terrible winter in Nazi prison camps, and emerged, alive (all of them) to become WWII's most decorated platoon.

As an English teacher, I stress to my students that, although we are reading a book about "history," per se, this is still an English writing class. Therefore, my goal is not "solely" to teach about World War II . . .but rather the "human condition," and the wars we all face in our lives. How do people react to adversity? To death? How can we, as humans, conceptualize what is truly important in life? How can we hold out for hope? This book--and Wally's talk--really spoke to these precepts.

Wally spoke about his experience with the 28th Infantry, and how he found himself as a "replacement soldier," due to the high death tolls which the Americans were facing at "the bulge."It was not a talk about blood and guts and guns . . .but rather a talk about dealing with challenge . . .and trying to find joy and peace in everyday situations. Humorously, for example, he told the story of how he "stripped" an SS Officer of his "Luftwaffe" (German for air force) pin, after a brigade of Nazi's formally surrendered to his company. "I was a brash 18 year old punk," he recalls. "I feel really bad now, actually." Wally defined "combat" as "hours and hours of complete boredom--followed by all hell in the world breaking loose." So, as he recalled with a smile, he and his comrades used to "go fishing" in brooks and streams in the Bastogne region. Only, since a fishing pole was not to be had, they used grenades instead. He spoke for over an hour, and he really had the kids interested, as we mixed both serious and humorous stories together.

Here he is, standing next to some of his "show and tell" items, including a small Nazi flag which he "captured and framed." Also inside the frame are bullet casings from the machine gun he was "on" during the war, a 28th Infantry patch, and the famed "Luftwaffe" SS pin. Also, he is wearing the standard issue military Hawaiian shirt . . . A glimpse at my new classroom . . .and Wally addressing one of my English classes. The kids were responsible for crafting some questions to ask him, and I have to say I was impressed with their respect and decorum--refraining from the cliche "how many krauts did you kill?" question.

With the utmost humility, Wally explained how he won a bronze star--for just doing what everyone else was doing. Well, as someone who considers himself a big military history fan, I know they just dont "hand out" bronze stars to common soldiers. The bronze star is, in fact, the 4th highest military honor a soldier can win for bravery and valor in combat: Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, and Silver star precede the bronze. Above the bronze star, you will see the "combat infantry badge," which Wally says he is most proud of. As a personal note, I have to say it was truly amazing to see an actual bronze star, since its such a prestigious award. A closer shot of his Nazi stuff.
This is another cool thing he scrounged while marching through Bastogne: A German artillery shell box. The Germans kept about a dozen mortar rounds in the box . . .and today Wally keeps his military regalia inside it.

My wife has a Master's degree . . .

Yet I went to the library today to pick up the latest book in her series of "mysteries" she is reading by an author named Joanne Fluke. This particular volume was called "Peach Cobbler Murder," and it is loaded with intellectual "meat." The last three books were, respectively, "Lemon Meringue Pie Murder," "Sugar Cookie Murders," and "Fudge Cupcake Murders!" Obviously, they are both riveting and enriched with the finer nuances of American Literature. Just kidding. She calls them her "junky mysteries," and I think its great that she relaxes with some good books . . .even if they are pretty easy reading . . . .the whole point is to be entertained, right?

Tonight was spent in Readfield at the grandparent's house, where we joined the New Jerseyites (who arrived last night) for some spaghetti and meatballs. After dinner, while all the adults talked, all the kids (Emma and I) went into the living room to play some "Zingo," which is her favorite game. I love how she fixes it so she wins. Every time. It is really cute to see Emma so fascinated with Amanda's big belly, as she rubs, touches, and kisses it. It is also really cute to see her talk to "the bean" through Amanda's shirt.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday. I know this sounds cliche, but I totally mean it. This week has been so long. I have a Battle of the Bulge veteran coming to talk to my class tomorrow, so I will probably post on that tomorrow afternoon. Also, I've got to update you on the Philosophy club I've started at Winslow . . .a club which is having continued success in its third week!

Amanda (and why I hate the post office part 2)

First, here is the latest picture of Amanda. We had our doctor's appointment today, and, since our last appointment 3 weeks ago, Amanda has gained 11 pounds . . .for a grand total of 23 pounds. Bjarni, our midwife, was able to feel the head and the little bum by massaging Amanda's belly. He is positioned exactly how he is supposed to be. This Friday will be 30 weeks. Holy Crap.

I wrote about the post office before, and how they are unfair to keep raising rates instead of trying to compete in our capitalistic society . . .so I wont get into that again. But what bothers me lately ( and I have noticed a steady increase in fact) is junkmail.

Its not so much that I mind the chore of actually picking it up and throwing it in the recycling bin that bothers me . . .but its the fact that "I" need to be the "responsible one" and DO the recycling. The government loves to regulate everything--particularly when it comes to the environment. They regulate packaging on goods, smoke stacks on factories, automobile emissions, dumping into sewers, state car inspections . . .you name it. But has the government ever stopped to consider how many TREES are killed each DAY in order to produce paper on which to print and circulate junk mail? And then, out of the other side of their mouths, the government tells us the importance of recycling . . .

The post office, after all, is a government agency, so why dont they regulate themselves and the volume of junk mail that they allow to be delivered? Unfortunately, I think they would . . .if they didnt make money off of it. . . .

I firmly believe that if the post office (i.e. the government) didnt make money off of junk mail, then they would surely put some kind of sanction on it (have you ever notice there are no "do not mail" lists to partner up with the "do not call" lists to which you can subscribe?). This, without question, is just as much of an invasion of privacy.

But I think what bothers me the most is the hypocrisy involved here; the government loves to regulate "everyone else."The fact remains that the post office is making big money off of the "pre-sorted first class" fees that car dealerships, drug stores, Wal Marts, and other businesses PAY in order to have junk mail delivered to your house--they have a pretty good system going, and frankly, its just plain extortion. And some of it is very deceptive, in fact--we often get "real" looking envelopes with "real" looking stamps . . .that just turn out to be credit card applications, etc.

If the local post office suddenly had to become as accountable for environmental vigilance as everyone else did, they would lose a lot of revenue.

But then again, they could always just raise the price of stamps, right?

My Five Favorites: Part 2 of a 10 Part Series

MY FIVE FAVORITE RESTAURANTS: BASED ON FOOD, ATMOSPHERE, MEMORIES WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY, AND THE TYPE OF MINTS THEY GIVE YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE

1. Muddy River Smokehouse, Portsmouth NH: This is where I spent just about every Monday night during college: All-You-Can-Eat St. Louis style BBQ ribs for 10.99! Thank You . . .

Just a super restaurant with a truly unique atmosphere: blues music, 29 beers on tap (many of them the fantastic NH microbrews like smuttynose and red hook), dark lighting with stars on the ceiling, you name it. I have to say I took several dates here in college (well, it was three . . .not several) but I ESPECIALLY remember the first time I took Amanda. This is the kind of place you take a date when you want to REALLY want to know if they are worth keeping around; its the culinary equal of "bringing them home to mom." Are they going to play it safe with the Caesar wrap? Or are they genuine enough to "be themselves" and get a little sauce on their face? Amanda was a rib girl. And that changed everything . . .

2. Asian Cafe: When we go, we feel like we are part of the family. Just under ten years ago, Daniel Pengthong left his life in Thailand as a jeweler to come to Winslow Maine (of all places) to open a Thai restaurant. I was fortunate to have his two sons Golf and Eddie in class: they are remarkable kids. The food is exquisite; it is of the caliber of something you'd find in the finer restaurants of Boston . . .and its right in our backyard. . .in front of the train tracks. Lots of memories attached to this place too. For example, I am superstitious in that I have to eat Asian Cafe before each and every one of my concerts. Also, this is where Amanda and I ate lunch while we decided to put an offer on the house in which we now live. I usually go with the Saigon Spicy beef, and Sally goes for the crunchy chicken broccoli.
3. Fresh Catch Seafood, Easton Mass: The most wonderful seafood restaurant in the world . . .in my hometown, no less. My dad and Barbara are regulars here, going for lunch every Saturday. The cook's wife had a baby, and Hank and Bab's got her a present. The waiter sits with them and gives them crap while they order. Its that type of place. Nothing in Maine compares, as far as I'm concerned. Whenever Amanda and I travel down for a visit, we ask to go there for lunch. They have "Alaskan Chowder" with crab, scallops, and fish that is to die for. Plus, I usually get the fried oysters, which are sweet and succulent. Amanda gravitates from the fish sandwich to the fish and chips.
4. Ming Lee Chinese Restaurant, Waterville Maine: The finest Chinese food I've had in Maine. And that is a strong statement coming from me. (editors note: rangoon for rangoon, I think I like the FOOD even better than Lucky Garden . . . Lynne just had a heart attack). Amanda and I have "date night" and get the "Pu Pu Platter for 2" and fried rice. Lots of Chinese food, I find, is greasy, heavy, and processed tasting. The meals at Ming Lee each possess their own flavor, and they are cooked fresh. You can tell. Surprisingly, my dad has never eaten here with us. And he is the only person alive who knows Chinese food better than me.
5. Town Spa Pizza, Stoughton Mass: This isnt what it looks like now; this is an old picture. I practically grew up here in high school, and people like Jay, Bryan, Timmy, and Johnny will know exactly what I mean. Not only do they have the best pizza in New England, but also this WAS my high school hangout . . .so many great conversations and debates took place here. This is also the place where I famously (because I still get made fun of for it) ordered "wine and water" on New Years day of Y2K after I was hung over from the night before. You cannot go to this place on a Friday or Saturday night and NOT wait for 40 minutes in line . . .but its absolutely worth it. Johnny Crockett, in fact, buys tickets to come home from Nevada JUST SO he can eat at the spa . . .its his first order of business. There's just so many great memories from this place; so many high school weekends started with "meeting at the spa."
***HONORABLE MENTION***

Governor's Restaurant, Waterville Maine

Butcher's Choice, Waterville Maine

On The Border, Harvard Square Boston

Maui Chinese Food, Brockton Mass

Grazziano's Italian Restaurant, Lisbon Maine

So . . .what are YOURS???

Easter Sunday

I just realized I havent posted a blog since last Thursday. I guess I just havent given a crap.

Ha ha

I put my homemade baked beans on last night before I went to bed, so that by this morning they were done. I got up several times during the night to add water to the pot, and I kept having bad dreams about my beans and how they were overflowing or how Thomas was eating them, or whatever. It was weird. This morning Amanda and I went to church, as is our usual custom on Sundays. And when we got back, I immediately put the ham in the oven. This year's ham was by far the best ham I've ever made--it was a "Mello Gold" ham that I picked up at Josephs in Waterville . . .we get all of our meat there now. To heck with Scamaford. This ham was both incredibly moist AND pretty low in sodium. So everyone wins. George, Bud, and Edna came over around 2 and George immediately started putting some snacks out . . .. We have a long standing joke with George and his snacks: George is somewhat of a gourmet, constantly on the search for all types of arcane spreads and cheeses. He is known for his appetizers! And, whenever he travels (either here or to the grandparents), he transports his snacks in a large Margarita's takeout bag. Hence, the sight of the "big Marg's bag" is a harbinger of a good afternoon and evening of eating to come. Today's dinner was a "Margarita's affair." (Editor's note: Please dont confuse the fact that I like the Margarita's "bag" with the idea that I somehow like Margarita's "food" now. The restaurant still sucks, and the food tastes like a turd covered in burnt hair).

This isnt the best picture to accentuate Amanda's belly, but you can get an idea of just how "big" she is getting. Mel and Jonathan came over after brunch with Mel's parents, and Mel remarked: "Amanda, you are the skinniest pregnant person I've ever seen!" Amanda, a superb baker, made "chocolate raspberry torte dream" for dessert. It was excellent, as are all her baked goods. Here is her making it . . . And here is the finished product. Doesnt it look delicious? (and the cake looks good too!!)
For dinner we had baked ham with Jared's special homemade pineapple glaze, homemade baked beans, cole slaw, green bean casserole, and Grandmom's special "pear and jello salad." I guess Amanda grew up eating this dish. We all cleaned up while Jonathan went and laid on the living room floor as usual, and then we all looked at my pictures and videos from D.C. I talked to my mom, dad, and sister, who were all in CT today, and Kristin had a very funny "BBQ" story to share with me. I would tell you, but I think she should post it herself on her blog--which seems to have been on hiatus. I think you should all email her or leave a comment on her last blog entry, encouraging her and Twon to resurrect the site.

A very busy week ahead: birthing class tomorrow, midwife appt. Tuesday, New Jerseyites arriving Wednesday, concert on Friday. And sometime this week, I have to find the time to practice my nude yoga sessions . . .busy busy busy . . .

Eleven weeks and counting . . .

Thats how long we have to go until the Bean enters our world! Amanda is in the shower right now, so I cant really take a picture . . .but I will post the latest "preggo pic" tomorrow. She is getting huge . . .Callum has hiccups nightly . . .and Amanda has really really bad heartburn (which some say means he's got lots of hair--enjoy it while you've got it, kid).

We started our "prepared childbirth" class last Monday, and for the next 8 Mondays, we'll meet at the hospital from 6-8 pm for lots of helpful hints for new parents. But if you want to know the truth, I think the class is just a front for expectant mothers to get massages from their husbands, since that is all we do--practice certain techniques (massages) to mitigate labor pains. Oh well. I guess Amanda deserves a good massage every day in exchange for not being able to do normal things like sleep, put on her own socks, or wear clothes she fit into a month ago. Actually . . .I have all those problems too! HEY!!!

But we'll learn some breathing techniques and lots of really effective positions. And we might do some baby stuff too! Wah wah wah

Its been snowing and raining continuously now for over 48 hours--its actually a pretty big storm, but we have no real snow accumulation. An hour north of us, however, is seeing well over a foot of now powder. I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of flooding this spring when August rolls around ( he he).

Let's see . . .what else . . .I picked up the Easter ham at Joseph's today and I have to say it looks delicious! It will be hard to wait til Sunday. Oh, and I've started doing some of my own rehearsals, since I am playing another concert next Friday. Lots happening musically, but I will write more about that later.

An afternoon at the Hirshhorn

What is the definition of "art?" An age old question with a myriad of answers--from the literal to the philosophical. While in DC last week, Mike, his daughter Sarah, and I spent a part of the afternoon in the Hirshhorn Museum of Contemporary Art--it is one of the Smithsonian Museums. I use the term "art" loosely, since, although some of the stuff in there was pretty neat, most of it was . . .um . . .not. Now, some may say I am both un-cultured and precocious for asserting that this stuff is not "art." However, who decides what IS and what ISNT? And furthermore, who decides to PAY these people for something I could do while passed out? I mean, as and English teacher, I am all for critical analysis, symbolism, and digging "deeper" into a work of literature. But this is ridiculous.

Example #1: Bloody Girl

A video they kept playing over and over again. I didnt post the video. Basically, you've got a naked woman (actually "nude" . . ."nude" is for art, "naked" is for strip clubs) kneeling on the banks of a river. She has a pitcher filled with blood, and she pours blood over her naked body. Then, she rolls around on the ground, which is covered with down feathers. Then she stands up. Then the "video" starts again. Then I walk away . . ..


Example #2: Half Circle

Yeah. Thats it. Some genius took a large piece of black construction paper, cut out a semi-oval, and used some Elmers glue to paste it to a larger sheet of WHITE construction paper. That is all. I wonder if they used those little metal scissors we used to use in art class in elementary school. Furthermore, I wonder if the artist was left handed and had to be linguistically marked as "different" by using the scissors with the big thick red handles because they were "lefty scissors." Now THAT is art. Example #3: White paper

I'm not kidding. Thats all it is. White paper. Framed. Mounted on a wall in a Smithsonian Museum. In Darfur, a child is starving to death. Just throwing that out there.

Example #4: Messy closet hanger thingy

Finally! Someone with some real vision! This disgruntled dry cleaner employee decided to take his art "to the street," showcasing his work in a world renowned museum. A bunch of clothes hangers hang from the ceiling. Hey . . .at least it took some time to do . . .its more complicated than construction paper, right?
Example #5: Umm . . . .

Like. Um. Yeah. This is a metal bed frame. And it sits in the middle of the floor. And you're not allowed to touch it. Because its art. As you can see, I'm mesmerized (just like the previous one and the next one too). As a side note, I think it would be fun to actually name these pieces. I forget what they were all called in real life, but this one should be something like "Nursing Home Lamentations" or "Sanatorium Waltz" to represent the conformity that exists as we all "sleep" in our "beds"---which are "society" after all. And we only "think" we're "sleeping," since we all conform . . . .and the beds symbolize our "stale identities," and blah, blah, blah, I'm so full of crap it isnt funny . . . .
Example # 6: Fruity Fruit basket

Again, I'm completely taken by the artistic vision of putting oranges, lemons, and limes into a basket purchased at the Christmas Tree Shop. Its truly remarkable, and I hope the artist at least gives him or herself AT LEAST a week of vacation after some really hard, painstaking work. Great job.
So what do YOU think? Is this art? Do I have a point? Or am I just too stupid to "get it?"

Washington . . .Part 2

Here is a group shot of the 48 students we took to our nations capital. I think the building in the background is the Capitol. I think. Anyway, I am very proud and honored to have been selected to chaperone the trip in the first place. Mike truly does an exemplary job planning all the nuts and bolts of the trip, and it goes off seamlessly, providing an unparalleled learning experience for the kids. In addition, I am very proud of all my Winslow students, for the way they conducted themselves with respect and dignity in our nation's most hallowed places--such as Arlington and all the memorials. Sure, they did "normal" high school senior stuff like fart, scraugh (which is a combination of screaming and laughing . . .usually done only from midnight to 2 a.m OR on the bus as soon as most people are into their naps), and other annoying stuff. But I am proud to say that they pretty much gave us absolutely no reason to worry about them OR the integrity of the trip. Mike also did a great job of instilling within the students a proper sense of decorum for the heroes and forefathers who paved the way for our great country--no cell phones, iPods, hats, sunglasses, etc. were allowed in Arlington. It really bothered me to see some other student tours with not even a modicum of respect for the fallen, as they laughed, gallivanted, and hid behind their music players while walking through our national cemetery. Anyway, good job Mike. And here is the original Kermit!!! He lives in the Smithsonian Museum of American History, but that is closed for renovations. However, they had some of the "cooler" items on display for an exhibit in the air and space museum.

Holy Crap its R2D2 and C3P0!! Wicked awesome. Yay Star Wars, even.
This next one is truly amazing: George Washington's Army uniform overcoat. After the war, Washington resigned his commission as an Army officer . . .only to be elected as president years later. Somebody somewhere had the forethought to keep this coat. This thing is like 300 years old . . . . Can you make this out? This is a picture of a tree stump. But its not just ANY tree stump. During the Battle of Spotsylvannia in the Civil War, essentially everything on the battlefield was decimated by bullets, cannons, etc. As the story goes, at the end of the battle, all that remained was this tree trunk, the rest of which had been denuded by the fire and fury of the battle. The stump represents the carnage and destruction of the civil war--the war in which there were the most American casualties of any American war (most likely since we were both the enemy AND the good guys . . .depending on which side you were on).
Tomorrow I may do one more post on D.C. before getting back to "normal" life . . .including the wicked excited details of Sally and I's first "birthing" class--for a baby that is due in about TWELVE WEEKS!!

Back From DC

So I am back from my trip. And I am very tired. So I am not going to write a lot tonight. But I will explain certain parts of the trip on tomorrow or the next day's blog. I'll try to not include pictures of the Capitol, Washington Monument, etc--as most people know what they look like. But it was a stellar time, with a fantastic bunch of teachers and students. In 5 days, we managed to see the following:

• Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, FDR, WWII, Vietnam, Korean memorial
• The Capitol building--including a tour from Senator Snowe's interns
• About 6 or so Smithsonian museums, including a stint in a real flight simulator with Thurston at the Air and Space museum (we spent most of the 5 minutes completely upside down)
• some really "questionable" art
• The International Spy Museum
• The Constitution Center in Philly
• Madame Tousard's wax museum
• Just how many places sell "bourbon chicken"
• THE LION KING on Broadway!!!

I will post some more pics later. . . .for some reason, blogger only lets me post 5 pictures at a time . . .I dont know why . . .

Here is Mike and I in front of the Lincoln Memorial. It is a lot bigger than most people realize--a huge statue!

Me and the REAL sign from M.A.S.H. I did this mostly from my wife and mother in law, who are the world's biggest M.A.S.H. fans. This was in the Smithsonian. I dont know why I look so sad . . .I really am having a wonderful time!
Vote for Goldsmith in two thousand and never! But this is what I would look like ordering fried rice and boneless spare ribs if I were president. . . .
Eat your heart out Sally Piles . . . Johnny is MINE! The wax museum was amazing . . .and kind of creepy, I have to say . . .
From l to r: The three chaperones, and the "49th kid" on the trip. Scott and April Wood, Mike Thurston, and Jared enjoy a true Broadway dinner before going to see the most amazing theatrical performance of my life. I think Mike looks very presidential . . .dont you? I'm off to bed. Talk to you tomorrow. Its good to be home with my wife and son--even though I cant see him yet. But his daddy did pick him up a little present: his first pair of Osh Kosh overalls . . .they are "train engineer" striped and they'll be cute for the fall . . .

Ain't No Sunshine...

Oh, hello. Amanda here. I'll be keeping up the blog (or trying to, at least) while Jared is away on his school trip to Washington DC. Here is my first attempt. I must say, Jared is a hard act to follow. I am constantly amazed at his creativity in his writing... I keep encouraging him to write a book and try to get it published, but short of stealing his stuff and sending it in myself, I think it will be quite a while before he does it. Maybe when he "retires".

So we woke up at 3 am this morning and I had him at Winslow HS by about 3:45. The bus was leaving promptly at 4. I came back home, stoked the fire, read for a little while, and tried to go back to sleep.

Jared called me at around 1:30 this afternoon saying, "Hey -- guess where I am? I'm just passing the Golden Dawn!" The Golden Dawn is a diner in Burlington, New Jersey, right where I grew up and where my family from NJ still lives. The diner used to be good, but now it's bad. On our trip to New Jersey last summer, we drove all night and stopped at the diner in the morning around 7:30 for breakfast. We should have just had cereal at Aunt June's. Oh well... Anyway, passing the Golden Dawn made us both think about our trip to NJ that will be coming up this summer, and we are so excited. It's one of the highlights of our summer, and this year will be extra special because we'll have the Bean with us. AND we'll get to meet Keith and Donna's baby too.

Then Jared called me around 3:30 and they were just leaving Philadelphia where they had stopped to visit The National Constitution Center. The photo above is a picture of Philly when we were down last summer. Some things we are hoping to do this coming summer are 1. have dinner with Michelle & Stevie Cee again (just the kids) 2. get the Bean some Phillies gear and 3. maybe visit the QVC studios. I'm not joking about that one...

Well, they finally made it to DC around 6:30. Jared is doing laundry tonight because some of the things he packed in his duffle bag exploded all over his clothes. Nice. I am going to bed because it's after 11 pm. I'm going to attempt to get a good night's sleep, but it's difficult without Jared here. I miss him very much...

Goodnight!

Meanderings 26!

1. Its a scientific fact that:

a. there is no one named "Gilly," "Sully," "Woody," or "Smitty" who is not "a hell of a guy."



2. Have you ever paid attention to the little computer girl's voice who gives you directions when you go to leave a message on your friend's cell phone? She tells you to leave a message at the tone, but then she tells you how, when you are done, you can either "press star" or "just hang up." Why would I want to press "star" when I can just as easily hang up? Furthermore, what types of options exist for me if I do, in fact, press star. And why would I want options? The way I see it, all roads lead to you eventually hanging up, so why prolong the inevitable?



3. Amanda and I went to the New Balance sneaker factory store in Skowhegan this past weekend. They have a sign on the door admonishing that shoes MUST be worn inside the store. How funny, I thought. . . .that's the very reason people GO there in the first place--because they are lacking shoes. Oh well.



4. If anyone wants to start a band with me, I'm game . . .but I get to play that "keyboard/guitar" type of thing. I called and spoke to "Kids Incorporated," and they said it was okay. I am bringing it back.



5. Here's a trivia question to consider: In what year did "hardware stores" suddenly become "home improvement centers?" Its kind of funny rhetoric: they call it "improvement" to give us that false sense of "rugged individualism" that we are "improving" something pre-existing . . .like fixing up an old house, etc. But in reality, nowadays everyone just builds new stuff anyway



6. What's the difference between an "ancestor" and a "forefather?"



7. What's the deal with candy bar makers calling a smaller version of their candy bar "fun size?" What's so "fun" about getting less candy? They are tricking us, and I'm not going to stand for it! Are we to assume that smaller things, by nature, are somehow "fun?" I know it doesnt necessarily ring true when people are involved. Except midgets on St. Patrick's day.



8. Another pet peeve of mine is when secretaries at doctor's offices somehow feel bold enough to "pretend" they are the doctor when it comes to diagnosing, prognosticating, and admonishing what I should and should not do. Its like they feel that somehow, since they have spent so much time "around" doctors, that they somehow "are" like doctors. What's worse is getting these people OUT of the context of the office in which they work, and spending time with them in a social setting. Suddenly they want to both inform and diagnose you about your condition.



9. You know that guy Kevin Trudeau? He's the idiot that wrote that book about natural cures the government doesnt want you to know about . . .and he touts his own horn about how SEAL Team 6 and Delta Force were after him because he knows that apple cider cures cancer . . .and the government didnt want you to know that . . .but now, since he's just SUCH a humanitarian, he will sell you his book . . .even at the cost of his own life . . . .PA-LEEZE. I have written before about dumb idiots whose expertise was in a certain area, but now they are experts on everything because they are famous with a dumb talk show (Tyra Banks, Rachel Ray). Well now this Trudeau beavis is suddenly an expert on financial matters, debt, etc. too. He has a new book out where he unveils, at the cost of his own life, how your checks can also be used to make origami turtles . . .



10. I really dont like wearing shoes. Of any type.



11. Is that "American Chopper" show still on? Is that craze still popular? Have those guys crashed their bikes yet, rendered unable to ride or fight any longer? Finally? Man that was a stupid fad. I hope its over. Is it?



12. Along the same lines as the word "track," which I wrote of in an earlier blog, the word "chopper" is an interesting English word, for it has three distinctly different definitions. First, it can describe a silly looking motorcycle for over-the-hill men with small penises. Second, it can be something to use in the kitchen to "chop" onions, peppers, etc. Third, it is a nickname for a helicopter. Cool, huh?



13. Remember in elementary school you'd have all kinds of cool, schoolwide "competitions" like read-a-thons, volleyball tournaments, field days, races, etc? Some kids would really excel, winning first or second place . . .and I would inevitable get a "Certificate of Participation." A certificate of participation is the ultimate polite way to tell you you are a goon. It says, essentially, that there was a contest or competition that you did NOT in any way, shape, or form succeed in . . .but nevertheless you were "there" watching others succeed. It basically just serves to remind you, weeks or months after the fact, that you were in face "present" at something. Well done.

A video of my wife stripping

the wallpaper that exists in the Bean's future bedroom. Stripping wallpaper absolutely sucks. If I have to do any more, I think I am going to have to take some of the leftover Vycodin from my tooth extraction first. But Amanda actually seems to enjoy it. She is doing a terrific job, and she said her goal is to finish it before I come back from D.C. next Sunday. I hope that goal is realized, because then we can start painting and such and such. Then his little room will start to take shape.

You'll notice on the video I show Thomas's "corner." What is funny is that, for the three years in which we have lived here, Thomas has probably been in that room a total of 3 times. But, for some reason, we CANNOT keep him out of there now. He neither sleeps in front of the stove, nor sleeps with us at night--as is per usual. Instead, he curls up on top of old wallpaper and sleeps there all the time. Its like he can't wait for his "little brother" to arrive in 3 and 1/2 months . . .

An Evening With Tim Sample

First of all, I must say, my wife looks terrific for being (as of today) 27 weeks pregnant. She begins her third and final trimester today. You "really" can't tell from the pictures, but she does have a perfectly round and pronounced little belly . . .with a very active little boy inside!

Tonight we went with Mandy and Tony to see Tim Sample at the Waterville Opera House. Each year, for Christmas, we get the Pelottes tickets to some type of theatrical event (usually at the Opera House, in fact), and this year we got ones to see Tim Sample, who (just in case you dont know) is probably the most well known "regional" humorist in the country . . .and obviously, he is a "Maine" comedian, storyteller, and songwriter. In addition to travelling throughout Maine--and the whole country, in fact--doing his comedy, he was also a longtime staple on CBS "This Morning" with Charles Kuralt, and he wrote essays about Maine people and life in our funny state.

Maine humor is a different type of humor--it is slow, rooted in the craft of storytelling, and rich in oral tradition. As you many out-of-state readers may have guessed, it is copious in its references to "you cant get there from here" kinds of people, "skidders" (a logging tool), mud season, trailer homes, long winters, and tourists. All in all, it was very enjoyable. Its funny--listening to his comedy made me almost "proud" to live in Maine, since we are home to so many idiosyncrasies (of which I have a few myself!), personalities, and traditions that are so innately "ours;" Maine is a very special place.

It was also a terrific evening to be with good friends, and we began the evening at "Cancun" Mexican Restaurant, which once again was terrific. Tony enjoyed a Margarita, and it is good that he consumed it in the winter, since if he ordered it in the summer months, there would be a very upset child without their "kiddy pool." The drink was well worth its 8 dollar pricetag . . .it was huge.

Now we are headed to bed and gearing up for our LATEST storm, which will start late tonight--it promises to bring us snow, sleet, and almost a full inch of ice . . .this could be a dangerous one!

Ouch

This is the first blog I've ever written while on Vycodin (I dont even know if I'm spelling it right). I usually stay away from this kind of stuff, but I'm actually in a lot of pain. I had to have a wisdom tooth taken out today--I got all my wisdom teeth out when I was in college, but for some reason they left one in . . .maybe just to be funny. Well, anyway, this one had a lot of decay, so I got it taken out today. The Novocaine worked for the pain, but there were all kinds of nasty crunching sounds coupled with lots and lots of pressure as Dr. Vermette took it out. What's even funnier is that I have her kids in class, so as she was wrenching my tooth loose, she was asking me all kinds of questions about what types of things we would be doing in Washington DC next week when Thurston, me, and Woody take some students down. Needless to say I couldnt really answer her. Oh well.

We had our 6th snow day today--although one might call it an "ice day." We got about three inches of snow last night, covered then with ice, sleet, and freezing rain on top of it. I was actually surprised we had no school today, so Thomas and I took advantage of it by lying on the couch and reading a good book together. Yes, I am "that guy" who personifies his cats. Oh well. I am reading a really good book right now called TALL TREES, TOUGH MEN, which is a story about the history of the logging industry in Maine and NH. Its actually very very interesting!

Shovelling sucked today, since each shovel full was like picking up five gallon buckets filled with water . . .and then throwing them as far as you could. The snow had a coat of ice on it, so when you threw the "shovelled" snow on it, it just slid right back down onto the driveway.

Oh, and remember that comment I received on my "top five beer blogs" about Kennebec River Brewing Company? Well, it turns out that it wasnt Jay screwing with me . . .it was legit. I have been in contact with Russell, the president of Northern Outdoors, and he was so flattered that I mentioned his brew that he is sending me a T-shirt. What a nice guy! Plus, he told me to ask for him next time I was at the lodge, since he'd love to buy me a beer. People are nice in Maine . . .

The Complete Works of Goldsmith is going global!

Six Word Memoirs

I have been exploring with this a bit lately--both personally, and with my classes. It is pretty fun . . .but actually really tough to do . . .



Ernest Hemingway, who was famous for his short sentences and "economy of language,"was once challenged (jokingly) to write a story in six words. His result:



"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."



I am struck by the richness of that line, although it is only six words long. What makes it remarkable, I think, is how you can in fact infer so much about the characters and their situation. NPR has a "blog" where people submit their "stories." You can tell a surpringly large amount about a person from only six words . . .I was playing around and here are some I came up with (like I said, its hard to think about encapsulating a part of yourself in six words!)



1. A life in 29 years? Wow.

2. College? UNH. Girl? Maine. Figure.

3. Adriomycin was my homeboy. Now: Hefeweisen

4. Pu-Pu platters speak to me daily

5. My day ends at 2:10? Right.

6.Everyone who knows me won't believe.

7. "Oh but you get summers off!"

8. Blog keeps me writing every day





You should try!!! Here, I will start you off:



* Fat Mainer should do some work!

61 Years!!

I can't believe it. I turn 30 this May . . .and I can't even imagine ever being ALIVE for 61 years--never mind being married that long. It is truly remarkable, and yesterday was a beautiful gathering of grandmom and grandpop's friends and family--all of whom helped them celebrate their day. It was a "quasi-surprise" for them, as Lynne basically told them they HAD to go to church on Sunday (originally, grandpop wasnt going to go, since, from our last storm, we picked up another foot of snow, and he wasnt planning on clearing out the driveway). Ladies from the church made a cauldron of American Chop Suey, a huge bowl of salad, a gigantic crock of chicken noodle soup, and all the fixings. We had a cake from Hillman's--America's best bakery.

Here, Lynne reads a poem written by the New Jerseyans, who were there in spirit. Lynne also gave a nice toast. No one cried. Not. (look how excited George looks!)

They havent cut a cake together like this is a long time! And they used the engraved knife and spatula that Amanda and I used to cut the cake when WE got married! How cute . . . Enlarge this picture to see more clearly the photograph of grandmom on her wedding day. She cleans up nice, huh?
A few years ago, I wrote a song called "25 again," and it was inspired by grandmom and grandpop's marriage. Interestingly enough, it is just about the favorite song I play for my high school students--they love it! Lynne asked me to perform the song at the party yesterday. I think it went well. George can hardly contain his emotion . . .

Congratulations Bud and Edna . . .I hope someday Amanda and I can be married for 61 years!!

What you non-Mainers are missing

Look at this snow! There's so much I dont even know where to put it (thats what she . . .)

Another storm today of about what I would guess to be 10 inches or so . . .but it is still snowing at almost 11pm. As of last Thursday, we have officially moved into the # 5 slot for "snowiest winters of all time in Maine." Kevin Mannix was talking about this on the weather the other morning, explaining how this is the 5th snowiest winter of all time . . .since records started being kept in 1882. And, as he said, that just takes into consideration a "meteorological winter," which is from Dec-Feb. So today's storm didnt even couint . . .because it is March 1st.

Those of you who have seen what our house looks like in the spring can really appreciate just how much snow we have here in our yard. I am not joking when I say we are running out of room to put the stuff. But we both love it!

Lets see . . .this weekend so far: Friday, after leading the winter carnival assembly, I came home and "unwound" with an hour long snow shoe. Then, after raking the roof and getting wood, I came in to get ready to go chaperone the Sadie Hawkins dance. Amanda and I went to Governor's for dinner, and then went and danced our tails off (not really) with a bunch of kids. After going to bed at nearly 2, we slept in today. When we got up, we stripped some wallpaper (well it was mostly Amanda who did it) and I dug us out from today's storm. Tonight, my friend and colleague Zach, his wife Nikki, and their little son Jaxson came by for a visit (you can see some pics of them from our Christmas party blog). We drank a couple of beers, ate some great cookies Amanda made, and watched Thomas and Jaxson play together. Thomas is great with babies.

So come up to Maine and enjoy some of our snow with us!! Its only going to be around for 3 or 4 more months . . . so hurry up!!