The Year In Review

With all the excitement surrounding the birth of Callum, I failed to mention that goldsmith5 has celebrated its 1st anniversary (and then some) Our first post was June 17th of last year, and today marks the 288th post! Businesses talk about their fiscal year, schools talk about their calendar year, etc. Well, here are the highlights of the "blog year."

What are your memories that I may have forgotten?

• not even thinking about children, to thinking about children, to trying to have children, to being pregnant, to starting to raise our son


• countless paddles on "scamper the camper," our LL Bean canoe


• Trips to Mass, CT, New Jersey,


• complaining about just about everything in existence, via my "Meanderings" sections


• Going from being on "non speaking" terms with certain individuals, to becoming closer with them than ever before


• Renovations to our home, including a new driveway, new furnace, new wood stove, breezeway enclosure, newly painted and remodeled nursery, etc.


• Landscaping projects like new flower and herb beds and trees


• LOTS of splitting and stacking wood (which is still one of my favorite things to do)


• OCCASIONALLY the mention of food items . . .


• Dealing with one of the toughest (and awesomest) winters on record, and shovelling our driveway just about each day . . .


• Blog wars between anonymous, karen, jared, anonymous, and "just saying"


• The solid knowledge that New Jerseyans secretly (well, actually, NOT so secretly) want to live in Maine, near Amanda


• My ability to piss off just about all my friends, family, and colleagues with my political views, educational philosophies, general opinions, and restaurant choices


• Having Emma not even acknowledge my existence as a carbon based organism, to having trouble keeping her off my lap so we can read stories, practice writing, and do workbooks together while she is up or we are down in NJ


• Canoe trips and other outdoor adventures with Dave


• The birth of SEVERAL babies via our close friends: Jaxson Longyear, Kylian Babik, Aiden Hargrove, Liam Pelotte, (and soon to be Baby-Girl Reynolds)


• A wonderful trip as the "49th kid" in Washington DC with MET, and a bunch of my seniors


• The resounding reassurance that Thomas is the best pet anyone could ever ask for


• My mom beating breast cancer


• Me dealing with my own mild retardation


• Grandmom beating . . .well . . .the laws of physics, medicine, and gravity


• goldsmith5.blogspot.com going GLOBAL! Here are FOUR examples:

1. When I first posted a blog about getting my road bike and trying to train for things like the TREK, and the MS ride, and the "Beach to Beacon," I was able to reach one of the sponsors of one of the races, who commented with a question

2. I have reviewed several restaurants on this blog. A few weeks ago, we were out at CANCUN getting some Mexican food, when all of the sudden the owner of the restaurant comes up to us and says "hello Mr. and Mrs. Goldsmith." We looked surprised that he would know us. "You are probably wondering how I know who you are," he said, "well, I read your gracious review of our restaurant on-line . . .thank you!"

3. After Karl Andresen's 65th birthday party, I got a comment (with an email address) inquiring into whether this was THE Karl Andresen who inspired her, 50 years ago, to go into teaching herself. She went on to explain how she had been trying to find Karl for years, and thanks to our blog, she found him. The woman now lives out west in Washington or someplace. Just ONE MORE piece of good-will brought to you by goldsmith5 . . .

4. In addition to food, I have also reviewed beer, giving high accolades to the Kennebec River Brewing Company up in The Forks (George had some of their IPA last night, and I definitely enjoyed one . . .delicious). The president of Northern Outdoors contacted me to thank me for my kind words about the beer, and sent me a free T-Shirt and the offer of a free beer next time I was up --just as a thank you for mentioning his company

• a reason to get up and do some WRITING each day--as you might be able to tell, I love to be creative, I love to think, (I love to complain), and I love to write. This blog gives me the opportunity to not only practice my craft each day, but also to share our lives with all of you: our dear family and friends. Thanks for reading and putting up with me. The best is yet to come . . .

Jared, Amanda, and Callum

A Day in Town

First, another great picture of Callum and his new friends: The Reynolds'!

Eric and I workout together on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the track, and Susan and Jackson came by before Eric and I left, and we had a nice little visit. I can only post five pictures at a time on this blog, and my five were up, but I will need to post a picture later of Jackson (who just finished kindergarten) holding Callum: he is a natural, and he is the youngest person to hold the little guy. Susan and Eric are expecting their second child (a girl) in September . . .they already look natural (again) holding a newborn.
Well today the Goldsmith's took a little trip into Hallowell (home of Lucky Garden, "formerly" Water Street Yarns, The Liberal Cup, and tons of little antique shops that are . . .nice) for Callum's second doctor's appointment. Since last Friday, he has grown a half and inch (a half inch is a lot to a guy like Ponticelli!) and has gained 3 more ounces. We just love our doctor-Nathan Murray-James of Hallowell Family Practice. A super doctor with an outstanding demeanor and "bedside manner." Also, he is very progressive in his treatments and ideas; he's not just one of those "prescription happy" doctors who wants to just shove drugs down your throat. We're lucky to have him. Here he is, holding Callum before his exam.

Or, is this Jason Ponticelli????



And here's an "action shot" of Dr Murray James checking out Callum's eyes and mouth. Callum just loves going to the doctor's . . . After the doctor's visit, we took a trip down the street to the statehouse in Augusta, to Amanda's office, so all her girlfriends/colleagues could meet Callum. I might be the biased, proud parent, but they just ate him up! We stayed there for close to an hour and had a nice visit (I forgot to take pictures). Luckily, psycho liberal Governor Baldacci didnt come over to see him . . .otherwise, he would have found a way to take away all of Callum's savings bonds and put them towards welfare recipients . . .so we had that going for us!

After the visit, it was off to the Liberal Cup for lunch. The Liberal Cup, as some may know, is a fantastic brewery in downtown Hallowell owned by this guy named Jeff who, as far as I am concerned, operates one of the coolest places in Maine (with some of the best beer as well!) Nannie just loves the spinach artichoke dip there. And the beer and cheese soup is super too! Johnny Crockett and Jay even came there with me a few years ago. Johnny was impressed . . .and he lives in Nevada, where prostitution is legal, and they have "In and Out Burger." I dont know if the two are necessarily related . . .KAZAAM!

I have fond memories of "the Cup," as I (and some other distinguished WHS faculty like M.E.T.) used to go and play trivia there on Tuesday nights. Drink beer, and pretend to be smart: two things I do very well . . .

NOW, the Liberal Cup holds the distinct honor of being the first restaurant ever attended by Callum. By the time I took the photo, he was already passed out from his "Backhouse Bitter" and his "Taste of Summer Wheat Ale." He holds his liquor like his mumma . . . . And finally, for those who care to know . . . .

The two new friends are bonding just fine . . .

I love my Daddy

Hi everyone. Amanda here. I thought I would take a minute, while Callum is taking a nap, to write a little blog. I love this little guy more than I ever thought possible. Geeze... I can't even get through some of his books without crying. This morning it was 'Where Do Kisses Come From?' and I couldn't finish some of the sentences.

Anyway, he and his Daddy have really had some good bonding time. Jared does bath time and also sings and reads to him. Callum really likes hearing his Daddy play the keyboard. Jared is a really great father. He is always talking to him, dancing with him around the kitchen and holding him for some 'tummy time'. Oh, and not to mention teaching him all about the Red Sox.

I am really proud of Jared. He has been so patient, even when Callum poops RIGHT AFTER Jared changes his diaper :)

Thank you, Jared, for being such a wonderful father and husband.

Meanderings 34

1. What's the difference between a person who is "loved" and a person who is "BEloved?" It seems to me that a person is only beloved if they are, let's say, "older," and have "earned their stripes" so to speak. Its like if a person is "beloved," instead of just regular-loved, then they have proven they are the "real deal" and have true "lovable" traits that have stood the test of time. I would rather be beloved than just loved, I think.

2. Why are places where money is made called "mints?" I've tried sucking on quarters, and I think they taste like sweat and old man-pockets. Not only do they make money in mints, but also do they make die cast model cars and collectible things like that. Where's the mintyness involved here?

3. You always see those anti-cell phone bumper stickers saying "hang up and drive!" And, you always hear people telling other people to "hang up" their phones. What's funny about all of this is that we no longer "hang up" our telephones--particularly cell phones, which is what everyone uses anyway. "Hang up" is a very outdated expression for getting off the phone, yet we still use it. Rather, as far as cell phones are concerned, we simply close the hinged "lid" when we want to "hang up." Or, when I am on my "land line," I just press "END" and put the phone down. Interesting, huh? We can't "hang up" on people anymore. Just another great rite of passage technology has taken away from us . . .

4. Will somebody please explain to me what the heck is up with "The Learning Channel" and "The History Channel" and how neither one of them has anything to do with either "learning" or "history??" Seriously, The Learning Channel should be called "The Baby Channel," since all it shows are programs about amorphous fathers and their wives bringing their kids home from the hospital after they are born. OR, you've got Jon and Kate plus 8 which features this incredibly spineless father and his insufferably witchy wife and their 8 artificially created scientific babies. I havent been able to find anything else on this channel. All I am learning from this station is to stay the heck away from The Learning Channel.

As far as the History Channel goes, who knew that our rich and cultured world history is based almost completely on crab fishing and cutting down huge trees in Oregon?? I didnt. Forget about the greatest military the world has ever seen, the heroic battles fought, and all the heroes procured from said military. Forget about inspirational speakers and leaders like Gandhi, MLK, Ronald Reagan, Aristotle, and Daniel Webster. And who cares about things like the Berlin Wall, The Great Wall of China, the Pyramids, and other wonders of the world? Why would any history buff care about ANY of this when they can watch money-obsessed skinny, white, illiterates stand on swaying crab boats in January or in drenching rain in Northwestern forests? The History Channel give the American people exactly what they want--people doing WHATEVER possible to get rich . . .

5. What a cute fad it is for all these folks to pull up to Hannaford in their Hummers and Excursions and then use re-usable cloth bags to hold their groceries so they can be "sustainable" and not use "petroleum based" plastic bags. I've got an even better solution, and one that I'd be really good at: Eat all the food you buy before you even leave the store, then you wouldnt need any bags at all. I'm waiting for the day people start implementing "reusable toilet paper" into their lives.

6. In Maine, it is illegal to drive in your car and not wear a seat belt (it is now a primary offense, which means you can be pulled over and given a ticket JUST for that). However, its perfectly legal and fine and motorcyclists NOT to wear helmets. Can someone explain this to me? If a motorcycle driver who is not wearing a helmet gets into an accident, I firmly believe that their health insurance shouldnt cover their medical costs. Incredibly selfish of them to not wear helmets, actually. If for nothing else, for the way their outrageous medical costs are now going to "trickle down" and pump up the insurance premiums for the people who try to live a healthy life.

7. (I've only been thinking about this one since I'm now around all the "parenting" lingo). "Child Rearing." Hmm. Sounds vaguely inappropriate . . . painful. I'm looking forward to raising my son, but I dont plan on doing any child "rearing."

8) We are in a golden age of verbs, I tell you, since so many "nouns" are now being used as "action words"--namely, verbs. And its all because of technology! "I MYSPACED her the other night, but she didnt update it," I FRIENDED you on Facebook . . .why didnt you accept yet? " I'm going to TEXT him later on to see if he wants to play Candyland," "I've been IM-ING Chloe since 3, but now she has to go to work." Hey, fat kids . . .GO PLAY OUTSIDE.

9) Wendy's is now advertising their new "handspun shakes." With all due respect guys, I want your employees at Wendy's to do as little as possible with their hands to my food, thank you very much.

At One Week . . .

Happy Great-Grandfather (and WWII Holland Club Recipient . .hehe). The man who built little Callum's crib . . .a crib he'll hopefully sleep in soon, God willing
Auntie Kristin (in my family, aunt is pronounced correctly . . .not like the insect . . .ha ha). She is hoping Callum will enjoy reading trashy paperbacks about shopping, shoes, and cheesecake. "Hurry up and grow so we can do the Trek Across Maine together!" After the second day of the Trek, which ended up at Colby College in Waterville, a weary Uncle Jonathan stopped by to see "Little C."

Dave and Jen Lachapelle, who were the first non-family folks to visit Callum. I mention Dave a lot, since he is my "unofficial Maine Guide" who teaches me about fly fishing, trout, snowmobiling, and maple syrup making. Terrific individuals, and absolutely model parents as far as we're concerned--they have two young boys
"Let's go read!!!" Michelle Clark wins the "library award," for supplying Callum with about 75 percent of his books . . .ha ha. Michelle has given Callum lots and lots of Sandra Boynton books (and she has given mom and dad some delicious pumpkin choco-chip cookies, Shepard's pie, and lasagna!)

What an interesting week it has been, no? Its funny to see how much Callum has changed already since a week ago . . .it seems as though he is making new faces and sounds and expressions--its funny to watch. Amanda and I are just so humbled and gracious for the outpouring of kindness, meals, visits, calls, you name it from family and friends! Thank you all so much . . .and we hope that you all get to see Callum for yourself soon! We love when people call and visit, so please do so if you want to (I am writing that because some people have told me they feel like they are "bothering" us if they call or stop by . . .nothing could be further from the truth!). I dont want anyone to feel like they are bothering us . . .Callum loves his new family and friends. And Thomas loves the attention as well.

We are trying to get into some sort of rhythm (thats what she . . .) for not only Callum, but also for ourselves. For example, we want Callum to have some sort of sleep schedule/feeding schedule/bath schedule, but we also want (for ourselves) to get our eating and bathing schedules ironed out too . . .ha ha. I think it will just take a lot of love, patience, and understanding on behalf of Amanda and myself to do this . . .its good marriage practice!

Amanda has been out on a couple of walks (without the baby, because it has been a rainy week) and she is looking fantastic! Thankfully, she can now return to doing some of the things she does around the house--most importantly giving Thomas P. his wet food breakfasts and dinners, which, even after all my time around hospitals, blood, vomit, etc. I cannot do . . .wet cat food, more than anything, makes me sick. I have been getting outside for a few bike rides, and yesterday Jonathan and I did about 15 miles, which felt really good actually. I have been enjoying road biking, and my back muscles are starting to "tone up" to the demands of cycling (I think). Also, I've been out doing some weeding, mowing, and wood stacking (because before you know it, we'll be burning again). Thomas seems to have mellowed out a bit . . .when we first brought him home, he did not leave our side for the first 24 hours. He still is very affectionate when Amanda is feeding Callum, as if to say "hey, remember me? I'm cute too!" We're trying to give him lots of extra love.

So that is where we stand one week later. Today, being Sunday, is the first full day since we've been home that its just been me, Callum, and Amanda. Lynne stayed with us for a few days last week, and was a great help--both with stuff around the house, and with emotional support for the new mom--thanks Lynne! As for me, I am hard at work at some new meanderings for a future blog . . .

Summer Vacation??

Happy Little Family (Many have asked about Thomas . . .we are trying to give him extra love. . .he is definitely different . . .its like he is more affectionate than he's been in years . . .which for him is hard to do, since he's so lovey anyway. I think he feels a bit jealous and I know he senses something is here "to stay." He has tried to lick Callum's head, which is cute, but I stopped it because Thomas has a rough tongue, and Callum has no immune system. But he liked to be where Callum is)
A pre-lunch story in the recliner in the "man basement"
And a post-story nap . . .

In the business of Callum's birth, I have forgotten, in the past few days or so, that I am in fact on summer vacation now!! Well, Winslow's last day for teachers is tomorrow, but I've been on vacation for a week . . .although I am totally excited to be home with my wife and son, I have to admit that I did miss those final few days in school where there is a "special spirit," almost like the week before Christmas, where everyone is in a great mood about their impending vacation. Oh well. But we hope to have a great summer with out little guy. He's been a joy so far, although he seems to have his days and his nights messed up a bit--he sleeps pretty much all day, and he is up pretty much all night. Weird little kid. Anyway, here are some of the things we have planned/want to have planned for this summer (which, by the way, will be a summer for the ages, since Amanda gets to be home with me the whole time!)

1. Travel to CT for the 4th of July to see Auntie KK and Uncle Twon for a few days . . .apparently, they want to take him sailing, and to the Blue Horse for a present.

2. Go down to New Jersey in August for a week to see the zoo so Callum can learn all about QVC, buying tons of crap to put in chest freezers, and how to pick a crab properly. We are really looking forward to travelling down there!

3. Hopefully, some visitations from Nannie and Papa . . .and hopefully Bubba and Babs as well! Papa Goldsmith needs to eat some prime rib with me . . . .its still hanging out in our freezer

4. Amanda and I want to head up to Mt. Desert to (finally) get to Atlantic Brewing Co. for their tour and BBQ

5. I'd like to get out with MET for a couple of hikes at least (and possibly some Pig's Ear Brown Ale too . . .or at least a keg can of Foster's)

6. Paddling up north with Dave . . .trying to pretend I have a clue what I do with a fly rod

7. Some good road riding on my own and with Uncle Jonathan . . .and then we can get all cute and shave our legs together after (I'm really enjoying my bike . ..its becoming "my time" during the day)

8. Camp Greenlaw to see Cindy and Dana, and take Callum for his first "bye bye ride" on a boat

9. See friends from "far away places" like Jay and Jenn, Sarah and Tim, Andrea, Josh, Brian, etc. (grammar error . . .did you find it??)

10 Sleep for more than 2 hours at a time . . .although, as I keep hearing, I should savor every moment of not being able to sleep, since I'll most likely look back, when Callum is 17, and long for the days when he was a baby, and he pooped bi-minutely, and I couldnt sleep a wink . . .

Callum's First Bath

So last night the little bean had his first bath, given to him by yours truly. He both hated and loved it at the same time--I dont think he liked being wet . . .but he LOVED the nice lavender lotion his daddy put on him at the end. He went right to sleep after that . . .

The last two nights have been very difficult nights for Callum . . .not because of the sleeping and eating fiascos we face, but mostly because of the fact interleague play is on in the MLB, and the Red Sox are playing the Phillies. Callum feels a lot of pressure, because he likes the Phillies . . .but he LOVES LOVES LOVES the Red Sox. Its just hard to deal with the stress when he is so young . . .I say it just builds character . . .

Here he is, as pleasant as can be, getting stripped of his poppiness . . ..
He loved to have his back cleaned off and rubbed with lotion . . .just like his Uncle Jason did in high school when one time we . . .um . . .well, never mind . . .

As a side note, now that I am looking at this picture, I realize how I cannot wait til he can wear Carrharts, like his daddy. After all the fussing and crying and being wet and cold and exposed, Callum (immediately) became content after I dried him off and dressed him in his little pajamas . . .he went right to sleep in my arms . . .which, I have to say, is one of the most amazing feelings in the world . . .

And Thomas P. followed suit . . .

Some photos . . .

Hi all. Amanda, Callum, and I are safely back from the hospital, and we're all becoming acclimated to life at home. Frankly, we're exhausted, but we expected that. Obviously, I'll be writing more about Callum (and Amanda) during the next few days and weeks, but I thought I'd post what I thought were some pictures with great stories behind them (although I'm too tired to write the stories right now). The first picture is a little graphic (no nudity though!)

This is why we say Callum is our little miracle . . .here is his umbilical cord after I cut it. I had the midwife hold it out for me. Notice the two knots? Its amazing that he a) didnt suffocate b) was able to get the nutrition he needed (and 8+ pounder!) during pregnancy, and c) had no complications during birth. We just cannot believe it, and neither can Bjarni! Maybe I'll get a tattoo of two knots across my back . . . not. But maybe that should be his nickname . . ."Knots" or something . . .

Here is a picture of Amanda, Callum, and Bjarni--taken about ten minutes after he was born. I know I am biased because she is my wife, but I just can't believe how beautiful Amanda looks . . .even right after giving a drug free birth!!! She looks fabulous. Bjarni (pronounced "jar-nee") was totally fantastic, and didnt leave Amanda's side from the moment she got there--a primary reason we went with a midwife versus a doctor
This morning before we left. Callum has been (finally!) feeding a little better, and "latching on" to Amanda. For a while, he had to get take out, as we fed him with a curved syringe, but now he saddles right up to the dairy bar. And he always goes to sleep right after. Look at his little diaper . . .
In his big boy outfit, moments before leaving the hospital and going into the real world for the first time. He seemed to like his car seat, and he slept the whole 5.6 miles home
And here I am, the proudest dad in the world, carrying my son down the hallway, and out the big double doors. It was very scary leaving such a secure place like the hospital. But I was happy to get out of there . . .I'm not a big fan of hospitals
Thanks again everyone for all your love and support!

Home For Lunch . . .

Quick update as I am home for 20 minutes to grab some lunch (they dont feed the fathers at the hospital . . .not even on fathers day . . .wah wah wah) and pick up the "boppy" to bring back to Amanda.

Thanks everyone for your love and support! You will all meet him soon. I left in a rush and forgot the camera so I will post pics tomorrow when we are home. Maybe Kranthony can put some on their blog????

We have our cell phone at the hospital. 207 660 2177

Callum latched on for the first time this morning, and fed from Amanda. The whole breastfeeding process has been the toughest part so far . . .very frustrating

I am back to the hospital. Just loving Thomas, feeding him, eating a salad, and grabbing the boppy. See you all soon

LOve Jared, Amanda, and Callum (wow it feels great to write that . . . )

Our Miracle . . . .

Callum Stuart Goldsmith

Born: 2:32 a.m.

8 pounds 1 ounce

20.5 inches long

TWO (not just one) "knots" in his umbilical cord . . .1 % of babies have one knot . . .less than 1% have two knots. . .medically speaking, he should have suffocated himself long ago, or at least during labor . . .

Loves his mommy very much . . . .

Mommy was absolutely awesome in labor . . .she took NO DRUGS whatsoever. She's my hero.

Both are resting comfortably . . .

(picture forthcoming)

2nd post of the day (read previous one too)

At 4:33 Amanda's water broke. Its 5:00 right now, and we're just waiting for the midwife to call back to tell us if we should come in yet

"Here we go Raiders, here we go . . . ."

Hurry up and wait . . .

This is the lovely Ms. Amanda, as of 20 minutes ago. Amanda and I made yesterday our last day of work (my last day of school would be next Friday anyway) since, at our appointment with the midwife yesterday, we were told the little bean could come literally any moment now. Amanda, as of yesterday, was at 4 cm (I think you deliver at 10cm). Also, she is having many sporadic contractions and cramps . . .and the little guy's head is constantly jamming down on her . . um . . .area, causing further pain. Bjarni, our midwife, is confident that she'll deliver this weekend . . .but if she does not, by some freak of science, then they'll break her water on Monday. Is that enough graphic info for everyone . . .ha ha . . .sorry.

Ortiz (my dad), Twon (my brother in law Anthony), and Kristin (my sister Kristin) are, as I type this, most likely 20 minutes or so away from Fairfield, as they are travelling up to stay for the weekend. Our annual father's day cookout is pretty much in flux right now, as we try to see what the baby is going to do. But it will be great to have them here . . .just in case. And, if we do have the baby, I know Lynne and George will be right over, as well will my mom (and Chelsea, whom she is babysitting).

Amanda and I took some long walks this morning, ate a good breakfast at "The Flatlanda'" (I'll write more about that later!) and then did some errands. She had many contractions and was feeling pretty good, but crampy. Now, as you can see from the photo, she is all worn out for now . . .

Oh, and yeay for the Celtics for a fantastic win against the LA Entitlements . . .I mean Lakers last night. I have purposely stayed out of the bandwagon everyone is on with the Celts, since I know I havent supported the team in 20 years, and would find it almost disrespectful to jump on the bandwagon now . . .since they are finally good. But a great game is a great game, and the Celtics came back from a 24 point deficit . . .in LA . . .with biased refs . . .to win the game!! It is always great to see a Boston team do well . . .we are very lucky.

And finally, best of luck to Brick (Jonathan) this weekend, as he is riding the Trek Across Maine for the second year in a row. Good luck Jonathan . . .hopefully I'll join you next year when I'm not a big fatass!

Talk to you all soon . . .

Meanderings 33

I have a lot of time to think these days . . .

1. You know what's missing from our modern day neighborhoods? A "scary house" in which lived a "scary old man" or a "scary old lady." Our parent's generation (as evidenced by Hollywood movies, anyway) were blessed with living in a town where they had not only the "town drunk" (whom I have mentioned before) but also "old lady Quigley's house up on the hill" or "old man Peobody," who'll shoot you if you step foot near his prized Lilac bushes, or such and such. These types of scary houses and scary people were good for morale of neighborhoods, and they vastly contributed to the coming of age of many of our parents, I am sure. Countless dares, such as "ding dong and ditch," the "flaming brown bag," and spending the night in said house were aplenty back then. I say we bring back the old meanies and the freaks who live in these "untouched by time" houses all alone and dont interact with anyone. Oh wait we do have them . . .they're called Republicans.

2. Who was doing who on Scooby Doo? I often get confused.

3. More fast food stuff: I was in Burger King the other night and, on the menu board up near the ceiling, right under the "chicken sandwich" choices, was a little asterisked comment that read "picture menus available for those who need them." Well how do you like that? If you NEED one of those menus, then chances are you couldnt READ the little comment in the first place. So how do you know they exist?? And if you COULD read the comment about the picture menu and STILL found yourself needing one, then you're an idiot because you are too lazy to read. SUCK IT UP.

4. How clean does a whistle really need to be? I'm referring to the adage "its as clean as a whistle." If anything, a whistle is really dirty and laden with germs from some pudgy and orotund football coach blowing his nasty saliva into it all day. Is saliva clean? Silly.

5. "Wheatables" crackers may be the only food I can think of thats name is an adjective, not a noun. Think about that.

6. NASCAR, besides being the dumbest "sport" in all of the world (sorry Randy), is also the only sport in the world that contributes to global warming and causes pollution.

7. Many "Guinness world records" attendance records are set at NASCAR events, since they command a whole bunch of people who like to watch cars turn left for 3 hours. But what many probably don't realize is that this is probably the largest gathering of illiterate people, in one place, in all the United States. The same goes true for inbred people. I should call Guinness. Might as well kill three birds with one stone . . .

8. Maurcia Grant is in the news today because she is suing NASCAR for 225 million dollars for "racial and sexual discrimination." Maurcia, who is black, says she was treated both wrongly and unfairly while working for NASCAR pit crews. Imagine that? Now that must be the first case of THAT ever happening Shouldnt NASCAR, in turn, sue her for being stupid enough to be a woman working for NASCAR and expecting NOT to get harassed? What the heck to you expect to happen? But I guess what really gets me is this whole 225 million dollar case. How do you put a monetary "price" on being harassed or bullied? Who determines the amounts? And furthermore, why do these "costs" rise with inflation? They shouldnt--the only things that should rise with inflation are . . .well . . .tangible things. Why was the cost of "mental anguish" only 500,00 dollars twenty years ago? Has the price of shame and embarrassment risen? I dont think so. They should have documented the first settlement of one of these stupid cases when it happened like 20 or 30 years ago. Let's say the plaintiff got 20K for their "suffering." Great. Now a precedent has been set. Everyone else who files one of these ridiculously liberal cases, from now on, can ONLY get up to 20K for their settlement. The price of "suffering" doesnt go up. Put on your big girl underpants and go change some tires . . .

Old School Fast Food

I was thinking about McDonalds today (for some reason). Sometimes, you've just gotta have it (fast food, that is). It seems like McDonalds, Wendy's, and Burger King alike have all gone through huge changes in their menus, promotions, and activities in the past 30 years I've been around. I thought I would "reminisce" a bit about what "I" remember from fast food restaurants from when I was younger. Feel free to add . . .

McDonalds:

• Double Feature burger
• Cheddar Melt
• McRib Sandwich (for the Flintsone movie with John "I ate my family" Goodman)
• Daily Double (had real fresh tomatoes and real lettuce . . not the usual crap)
• Happy Meals in pails that you could bring to the beach with you. They usually came with little shovels and strainers so you could collect crabs and such
• 2 for 2 dollars Big Macs (now they're like almost 4 dollars for one!)
• McLean Deluxe (the low fat burger thing they had)
• Bullseye BBQ Burger (with bacon!)
• (help me out with this one!) They had some burger that came in a styrofoam little container so the hot side (meat) stayed hot, and the cold side (iceberg lettuce and tomatoe) stayed cold. What was that called?
• Burgers coming in Styrofoam little containers
• Little plastic caps that you used to put on top of your car roof if your drive thru order wasnt ready. Remember those? They had a special parking lot for those people, and usually you got something free (apple pie) for waiting . . .
• Happy meals that came in little "pumpkin buckets" around Halloween. I had "McBoo."
• The "other" characters (who have been upstaged by that pedophile we call Ronald) like Birdie, Fry-Guys, Grimace, and the Ham-burgalar
• The wonderful Christmas season commercials McDonalds used to have (my favorite was when pedophile Ronald helped some sorry looking kid, sitting alone on the side of a pond while his friends all ice skated with great aplomb, become the greatest ice skater of them all, as Ronald swirled him around the ice and then touched his buttocks).

Burger King:

• Burger Buddies (stuck together little burgers--cute)
• A.L.F. puppets that you could get with the purchase of a burger
• the "double cheeseburger" not being a "regular" menu item-but a special
• When Burger King, one day, decided they would become more like a regular restaurant--you were seated, given popcorn as a free appetizer, and then given a menu from which to order. Remember that?
• International Chicken Sandwiches: Ham and Swiss cheese (French), Mozzarella and marinara sauce (Italian) and lettuce, tomato (American)
• The whole "Herb" campaign Burger King had, where some mysterious guy named Herb was stealing all the Whoppers all across the country. To help catch this "Herb" guy, if you identified yourself by name to the cashier ("my name is Jared and I'd like a Whopper") then you would get a Whopper for 99 cents. If your name really WAS Herb, then you were supposed to say "I'm not the Herb you're looking for." Does anyone else remember this?
• 99 cent Whoppers
• Simpsons watches that talked when you pressed the button
• Cakes--they used to have Burger King cakes, because Kris used to have them for her parties. They had pictures of the "king" on them

Wendy's

• Without question, they had THE best toys
• When you paid for your order, your change came out via a cool little slide on the side of the cash register
• Wendy's had "beads" you had to walk through to get through the doorway (like hippy beads)
• "Where's the beef?" commercials

Fiber Frolic 2008

Hi everyone. Amanda here.

Well, we are waiting patiently (or impatiently as the case may be, Jared!) for the Bean to arrive. We are now a day past our official due date and I feel kind of strange. We've spent the last months totally focused on June 6th, and now it's come and gone with no Bean. Maybe he just has some last minute things to take care of.... Come on out, Bean! We want to meet you!

How sweet! I got home from work on Friday to this:

Today Mom and I went to the Fiber Frolic at the Windsor Fairgrounds. It is a fair that takes place every June and it is a wonderland of yarn, fiber, animals and good food. We were hoping that the walking around would speed the Bean up a little bit. Here is a picture of one of the many llamas we saw today:

Baby goats! Here is one trying to get something to eat. They were so cute!

Mom and I had a great lunch of hot dogs, hand-cut french fries and lemonade.

And while we ate lunch, there was a kids bluegrass band!

After we left the Fiber Frolic we headed up to Skowhegan to purchase some FuzziBunz cloth diapers to try out on the Bean....when he finally decides to show up! Mom and I had the best day. It was great just to spend time together, buy some really beautiful yarn, and keep a yearly tradition going. We're going to take the Bean next year!

The day was topped off with a great dinner at Cancun in Waterville. Mel and Jonathan also joined us and Mom had a margarita with too much tequila. Fun!

Meanderings 32

Amalie Benjamin . . . .

1. I'm tired of the new Brawny paper towel commercial that is on right now that explains how Brawny paper towels can handle even your "toughest" cleaning cases, and then shows a defeated looking husband, covered in dirt and grime, facing a situation where a baby is throwing spaghetti on the floor, and then the "wife" gives a "motherly" smile, as if to say "ohhh dear . . .i need to take care of my two little boys" (the husband is the other little boy) and then comes to the rescue, cleaning up the mess. Talk about double standard--just think of what the feminazi's would do if it were a commercial for, lets say, a lawn mower, and the "physically weak" woman had to be helped out by the stronger man, etc. I hate the way husbands and fathers are portrayed in the media . . .we're like a bunch of Peter Griffiths or Homer Simpsons (who, dont get me wrong, are hilarious) who can't do anything. I just think if it were the other way around . . .

2. Someone in the world (actually probably hundreds of people in the world), when asked what they do for a living, has to explain how they wash dishes for cooking show personalities. Think about it: when Rachel Ray, Emeril, Martha Stewart, and Alton Brown are done for the day, someone's gotta clean that crap up. Are these people recognized for what they do? In the credits, after "best boy grip" and "assistant to the associate director," does it say "dishwasher" or "Kitchen Bitch?" It should. But, since we live in P.C. corporate America, they probably have a fancy title like "kitchen reclaiming specialist" or "utensil technician." How demeaning. Do they take these jobs hoping to get their "big break?" Do they secretly cook stuff on the side, in between takes, and then go give it to Rachel to sample--the same way aspiring Hollywood actors give "scripts" to Harrison Ford and Quentin Tarantino when they do demeaning jobs on movie sets?

3. And speaking of which, Rachel Ray's 30 minute meal show is a lie--you have to factor in the time involved in cleaning up everything. It takes me longer to clean the whole kitchen that it does to cook . . .

4. At a conference a few weeks ago, the lecturer said "let's just put this issue on the 'proverbial back burner' until we come back from lunch." Obviously, the speaker said "proverbial" to indicate that they were well aware that they were using a cliche statement--on purpose. They do this so they dont look stupid and shallow for using overdone expressions. However, isnt that whole phrase--namely, saying "proverbial" before you say a cliche statement--also becoming cliche as well? I'm just throwing in my proverbial "two cents" on the matter . . .

5. I love when people spell things for me over the phone, and have to dignify each letter by attaching it to its own word--for clarification purposes. "My name is JARED . . .thats J as in Jason, A as in apple, R as in race car . . .and so on. I dont know why I think this is so funny. I guess its because there are certain letters that, inherently, always are attached to the same word. For example, the letter L always seems to be "as in Louis," the letter A always seems to be "as in apple (or Adam)," and the letter S always seems to be "as in Sam." Do you disagree with me? One time, a person used the word he was trying to spell to symbolize the first letter: "Yes me name is Horatio . . .that is "H" as in "Horatio," "O" as in "October . . . ." Etc. Whats the point of that? You can't say "H" as in Horatio if that is the word you are trying to spell. That defeats the whole purpose . . ..ya know?

6. Is a person "struggling" with something (school, work, life, marraige, coloring) if they a) dont realize it and b) dont give a crap anyway? Are they still "struggling?" We like to use that phrase a lot.

7. What's the deal with this surging "bathroom elitism?" Signs everywhere say things like NO PUBLIC RESTROOM, etc. Come on! Stop being so cocky (no pun intended). Let's all just join together in this fight against our bladders--EVERY PERSON in the world has to pee . . .let's help each other out for crying out loud. The fact that some people are so possessive of their bathrooms really speaks to the state of our humanity, actually. I believe it is morally and ethically wrong to keep people from going pee . . . .or CHARGING THEM MONEY like the McDonalds in Fanueil Hall marketplace does. You have to buy something from them if you want to use their bathroom. How friggin disrespectful is THAT?? Having to go the bathroom--and not having anywhere to go--has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. ONce when I was hiking with Thurston, I had to go the bathroom SO BAD (at 4A.M. no less) that I just ran into a Cumberland Farms in Manchester, Maine (because it was the only thing open). After I came out of the bathroom, at 4:04, the woman asked me if she could help me. No, I explained, I just was using the restroom. Then, she scowled at me "well thats not a public restroom you know!" To which I replied "well it is now." It was one of my more memorable lines.

DONT BE A BUTTHOLE WITH YOUR BATHROOM

8. My Powder

9. "He's such a nice guy . . .in fact, I dont think he has a mean bone in his body." What's all this talk about bones? Why, all of the sudden, are they somehow responsible for the "meanness" or "niceness" of someone? If anything, the ligaments or tendons should get the credit, because without them, the bones cannot move in the first place. Furthermore, its not the bones that do the bad things . . .its usually the HANDS holding the gun or the knife or the can of mace. Since when did a bone ever hurt anyone? This is such a silly expression. But I love it anyway.

Winslow High School 107th Commencement

So tonight was graduation for all my seniors up here in Winslow, and now, at quarter past ten, I am finally home to blog about it . . .after a fun night of speaking, music, hugs, and picture taking.

Each year the senior class selects a faculty member to speak at the commencement exercises, and this year, for the fifth time in his tenure at Winslow, fellow blogger Mike Thurston (met) delivered a great speech making comparisons between "life" and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." He alluded to his own mom in the speech, describing how she was like the "black knight" (if you saw the movie, you'll get it) for the way she has bounced back from a stroke and a heart attack . . .and is now dealing with a rare, incurable form of cancer. The entire field house audience at Colby College (I would estimate about 6500 people come out for the Winslow High School graduation) gave her a standing ovation in the middle of the speech . . .it was a wonderful moment. Below, Mike Thurston, Sean Keenan (our athletic director) and yours truly sit in our "guests of honor" chairs up on stage. Mike and are going out now . . . . For the fourth time in as many years as I've been teaching at Winslow High School, the senior class has asked me to compose an original song to perform at the graduation exercise. And, as with each year, I am only more than honored to be considered to do this. As a songwriter, I have to say that it is extremely difficult to write these graduation songs, since they have to be "about" something . . .for me, songwriting is about seeing what develops when you just sort of play with words and melodies, and usually I dont have any real "goal" in mind such as "this song is going to be about unicorns or greed or underpants" or something like that. But its a great workout for my brain, and I enjoy the honor and the challenge. This year's song was called "The World's All Right For Love," and it was written as a "combination" song, meaning that it is about graduating and entering the world of adulthood . . .but it also is about me in the sense that I am about to enter something completely new and challenging as well: Parenthood. Amanda recorded the song I performed tonight, and I have to say (and trust me, I am always way too self critical) that it came out beautifully--mostly due to Scott, the Colby sound man, with whom I've developed a good relationship with over the past four years. He always gets me sounding fantastic (well . . .speaker and microphone-wise anyway. . .hehe). But the song went well, and hopefully the lyrics touched some of the seniors . . . . Maybe we'll try to post the video online somehow.

After the ceremony, it is all about "picture time" and getting photos taken with "former" students. It is awesome to congratulate them, say goodbye and good luck, and get some closure with a good picture. We didnt stay too long this year, since I wanted to get Amanda home to lie on the couch, but we did get some good pictures to post:



Me and my student Sarah. She came a long way this year, battling constant migraine headaches that landed her in the hospital. A great kid. I also posted this picture because my dentist (and father of my student Matt), Dr Farrell, is sneaking his way into the picture (to the left of Sarah's head). I love when that happens in pictures. Years ago, you had to wait to develop the pictures and see what kinds of "surprises" lay in store . . .but with digital its all instant gratification.

Here I am with Meryl McClellan and her father. A sweet girl, and one of the top three best writers I had this year. Easily one of the nicest and most caring students in the school--I know that sounds cliche, but it really is true. She's a very popular girl, yet she both reaches out to and connects with everyone. Very genuine, and truly a class act. Plus, she goes to the pub a lot with her dad, and I see her there (she gets soda . . .) My student Cory, who is interesting because his girlfriend sees the same midwife we see, and she is due a few days after Amanda. So, as I keep telling him, "I'll see you at Thayer Hospital on Friday." Let's see if I am right . .. .I can't wait for my son to arrive!!!!!
Its nights like this when I feel like I have the best job on the planet . . . .

Mr. Goldsmith and other things...

Hi everyone. Amanda here.

Tonight Jared and I went over to Winslow High School for the senior Class Night. I love going to functions at Jared's school because I am so proud of everything that he does as a teacher. He has a wonderful rapport with his students and I love watching him interact with them. You can tell that they really respect him as a teacher, but also feel comfortable with him enough to joke around and be friendly. Here he is with some of his senior guys. I don't know who they are. I think Jared looks really handsome. He will make his son proud, I know.


Jared got a special recognition tonight because, for the 4th year in a row, he has written a song for the senior class and will perform it at graduation. The class officers presented him with this 'Tour' poster, which one of them made. It has great pictures of Jared performing, a picture of him and his co-worker and friend Dave with Slugger the SeaDog, and even a picture of he and I at his last concert.

When we got home, guess who was sitting in the dining room window waiting for us? Thomas is so cute... he looks so little sitting in that window!

Last night I baked some bread. I have been wanting to ever since we went to the Collier House Bed and Breakfast in Bar Harbor. The owner, George, baked this incredible bread every morning. It took a ton of willpower for Jared and I to not eat the whole loaf. I finally took the time to start making my own bread and my plan is to bake some every week for sandwiches and and toast (it is so good toasted with butter!). My first loaves turned out pretty good, so Jared tells me. I guess it might be true, considering that the first loaf is already almost gone and I just baked them last night.

In closing, the Bean is moving around A LOT right now as I'm writing this blog. Could he be getting ready to make his grand entrance? (Or exit?) I hope so!

Jared's 30th-Pictures

About 28 years ago, at the home of Nana and Papa Goldsmith . . .Jared enjoyed a prime rib bone in his booster seat . . .Apparently, a lot has changed . . . What a great cake from Hillman's! A fishing scene where the guy was catching a salmon RIGHT in the middle of the cake. Awesome! We'll keep the man and the fish and the trees for the bean's cakes . . .

Hey . . .who is that creeping up behind me?? Oh hi . . .its me, George . . ..
T-Minus 5 days . . .could this be the last picture you see of Amanda in her pregnant glory? She is due on Friday!!!!! There would have been a picture of me on the phone with Emma when she called to wish me a happy birthday, but apparently we're not as "down" as I thought, since that never happened. Oh well. Maybe for my 40th . . .(wah wah wah)