I have a lot of time to think these days . . .
1. You know what's missing from our modern day neighborhoods? A "scary house" in which lived a "scary old man" or a "scary old lady." Our parent's generation (as evidenced by Hollywood movies, anyway) were blessed with living in a town where they had not only the "town drunk" (whom I have mentioned before) but also "old lady Quigley's house up on the hill" or "old man Peobody," who'll shoot you if you step foot near his prized Lilac bushes, or such and such. These types of scary houses and scary people were good for morale of neighborhoods, and they vastly contributed to the coming of age of many of our parents, I am sure. Countless dares, such as "ding dong and ditch," the "flaming brown bag," and spending the night in said house were aplenty back then. I say we bring back the old meanies and the freaks who live in these "untouched by time" houses all alone and dont interact with anyone. Oh wait we do have them . . .they're called Republicans.
2. Who was doing who on Scooby Doo? I often get confused.
3. More fast food stuff: I was in Burger King the other night and, on the menu board up near the ceiling, right under the "chicken sandwich" choices, was a little asterisked comment that read "picture menus available for those who need them." Well how do you like that? If you NEED one of those menus, then chances are you couldnt READ the little comment in the first place. So how do you know they exist?? And if you COULD read the comment about the picture menu and STILL found yourself needing one, then you're an idiot because you are too lazy to read. SUCK IT UP.
4. How clean does a whistle really need to be? I'm referring to the adage "its as clean as a whistle." If anything, a whistle is really dirty and laden with germs from some pudgy and orotund football coach blowing his nasty saliva into it all day. Is saliva clean? Silly.
5. "Wheatables" crackers may be the only food I can think of thats name is an adjective, not a noun. Think about that.
6. NASCAR, besides being the dumbest "sport" in all of the world (sorry Randy), is also the only sport in the world that contributes to global warming and causes pollution.
7. Many "Guinness world records" attendance records are set at NASCAR events, since they command a whole bunch of people who like to watch cars turn left for 3 hours. But what many probably don't realize is that this is probably the largest gathering of illiterate people, in one place, in all the United States. The same goes true for inbred people. I should call Guinness. Might as well kill three birds with one stone . . .
8. Maurcia Grant is in the news today because she is suing NASCAR for 225 million dollars for "racial and sexual discrimination." Maurcia, who is black, says she was treated both wrongly and unfairly while working for NASCAR pit crews. Imagine that? Now that must be the first case of THAT ever happening Shouldnt NASCAR, in turn, sue her for being stupid enough to be a woman working for NASCAR and expecting NOT to get harassed? What the heck to you expect to happen? But I guess what really gets me is this whole 225 million dollar case. How do you put a monetary "price" on being harassed or bullied? Who determines the amounts? And furthermore, why do these "costs" rise with inflation? They shouldnt--the only things that should rise with inflation are . . .well . . .tangible things. Why was the cost of "mental anguish" only 500,00 dollars twenty years ago? Has the price of shame and embarrassment risen? I dont think so. They should have documented the first settlement of one of these stupid cases when it happened like 20 or 30 years ago. Let's say the plaintiff got 20K for their "suffering." Great. Now a precedent has been set. Everyone else who files one of these ridiculously liberal cases, from now on, can ONLY get up to 20K for their settlement. The price of "suffering" doesnt go up. Put on your big girl underpants and go change some tires . . .
13 comments:
It's funny to me just how much we disagree on things, yet how good friends we are.
you know what is missing in your neightborhood is "the bean". when is he going to jump out?
absolutely timmycocks. what, may i ask, do we disagree on? are you a closet nascar fan?
... and here i was all concerned that i hadn't checked jared's blog in a while and wondering if the bean had already arrived and how amanda is doing, blah, blah, blah. i log in and what do i find ... YET ANOTHER SLAM ON NASCAR!!
have you ever even BEEN to race, a real stock car race?! go to the oxford plains 250 this summer and see some real mainers.
guess what? i HATE the stupid red sox and all of baseball. every single time you watch the news in new england the moron news reader is tawkin' about how the sox did. hey you fools ... IT"S A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS! it is NOT a sport. these players do NOT care about you or your kid or your den or anything. if the red sox owners could make money on sending manny to the sea dogs they would do it in a nano-second (for all you baseball fans, that is a VERY short amount of time). and puhleeeez, forget about this foolish yankees-red sox rivalry. here's some advice ... GET A LIFE!
anywho, how is amanda?
thanks for listening.
randy
orotund?
Jared since you like to do blogs on food , how about where they come up with the name of some dishes. Chicken fingers, chickens don't have fingers, buffalo wings, buffalos don't have wings. Why do they pick on the chicken? Chicken breasts, what other food do they talk about breasts, do you ever see a sale on cow breasts or lamb breasts or pig breasts. Just something to think about. Thats a job I would like to have, naming food dishes.
ortiz you need a blog. i am going to set you up this weekend. it could be called "Here and There with Henry" or "Hank's Cranks" or "What's Happen'n wit Henry"
ortiz you need a blog. i am going to set you up this weekend. it could be called "Here and There with Henry" or "Hank's Cranks" or "What's Happen'n wit Henry"
Ya, I can't wait for Ortiz to set up a blog!!!!!
Ok people, Ill explain it one more time...Callum is waiting till his Auntie is there to be born, I've been telling you this all along. So I'll be arriving in Maine tomorrow and so will Callum. Gosh, you people just dont' want to listen
Kristin, you ar so funny!!! It's like I always say people don't pay attention! Just ask Jared, he's the teacher. Have a good visit to Maine. I wish I could be visiting everyone in Maine. I really miss everyone.
I vote for ortiz to start a blog. Jared, you can work on the setup while sitting up with Callum all night. I like "Hanks Cranks" for its name.
I think Callum is just waiting for cooler weather.
No, I'm not a NASCAR fan, but it is interesting with the strategy of when to pass, who to follow, how often to pit, what to do on your pit, and the crashes are fun to watch.
Your snipes at Republicans irk me, not only because I am one, but because I believe that the two major parties need each other to balance the nation. Sure they'll always be one party with the upper hand, but all in all our country is decently balanced thanks to both.
On the picture menu, I think they're referring to a menu with pictures that go along with the words, so that when you're ordering your Wendy's Double Fat Burger, you can see a picture of what it looks like, because not every item is pictured on the menu boards.
And lastly, the price of suffering, DOES go up with every year that passes. Just like salaries, food, whatever, everything goes up with inflation. If suffering were to be quantified as a stock shelf item, such as "One week of suffering", or in this lady's case "A lifetime of not being able to be on the pit crew at NASCAR of suffering" there is a dollar sign attached to it. That same exact suffering, 10 years ago, would have cost less, or else it would be figured to be less suffering, in terms of present day suffering.
Good day.
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