Meanderings 8 - My Soapbox

1. I give it about another year or so before some really smart, conniving person sues Dunkin' Donuts (and wins millions of dollars) claiming that they are "addicted" to their coffee, and Dunkin Donuts failed to put on their cups, right under the "warning: this beverage is hot" label, one that reads "caffeine is an addictive drug." They'll claim that they were in fact "unknowingly" sold a beverage containing an addictive drug (aka cigarettes), and now they HAVE to have Dunkin Donuts coffee every day, and they are now broke/crabby/going through withdrawal/suffering with coffee stained teeth/sleep deprived. They'll claim an addiction. This is the society in which we live, and you KNOW this will happen. And the person who does this will laugh all the way to the bank . . .

2. Those idiots who cause auto accidents on the highway and back up traffic for miles should be criminally charged--this is a blatant example of "disturbing the peace" if I ever saw one. The police report and insurance suits should determine who was at fault for the accident. The person at fault should do jail time for disturbing the peace and ruining everyone's day. There is NOTHING worse than sitting in traffic for an hour, only to finally see the Hummer/Expedition/Yukon on the median strip, obviously a result of aggressive driving. This selfish action disturbs the "environmental peace" by loading the atmosphere with exhaust from hundreds of idling cars. It disturbs the "physiological peace" by raising blood pressures, causing people to be late for, lets say, an important doctors appointment or a medication time. It disturbs the "civil peace" by making everyone crazy and irritable from sitting in their cars in the hot sun. Essentially, it ruins hundreds, if not thousands of people's days (some of these accidents close whole highways for HOURS). And, basically, its all ONE PERSON'S FAULT. Whether they were drinking or not, they should go to jail. Even if only for a few days---so THEIR lives are inconvenienced.

3. I hate tractor trailers, and I think they should be illegal. Lets bring back trains more. Not only are the big rigs annoying and aggressive, but also they are dangerous. If one is in front of you on the highway, its big box trailer height blocks the sign you are trying to read! And, they are so tall that they block the view of traffic lights if its right in front of you--you can't see what color it is. And when the light turns green, and it takes the idiot 15 minutes to get into third gear and reach a walloping 20 mph, that is fine . . . .but God forbid you go too slow in front of them on the highway--if you are in the "middle" lane (which is the travelling lane, by the way) and one comes up behind you, you BETTER move out of the way. They've got somewhere to be that is more important than your place. I propose that tractor trailers be illegal on the road except between the hours of 10pm and 7am. This is a good nine hours when the majority of "regular" motorists are off the road. There would be less traffic and less aggression. If they want to drive like idiots, let them get in accidents with each other--not us. Nine hours of drive time is a more than large enough window in which to work. The average worker (excluding teachers, of course) only works eight. Plus, after nine hours of driving, they are tired, and they are a safety risk to be on the road anyway! DOT workers work through the night on road construction so as not to interfere with the general public. Why can't truckers?

3. Another public restroom thing that pisses me off: Those stupid sinks (probably designed to save water) where the water ONLY comes out while the knob on the faucet is being turned. As soon as you take your hand away from "holding" the faucet on, the water stops. This is ridiculous. You have to lather with two hands, and then you try to rinse them off, but its impossible of course, because one hand has to be on the water knob. Then you end up in this ridiculous "race" against technology, thinking your hand can be faster than the water is to shut off. But you always lose. You always lose.

4. I saw some cookies in Hannaford the other day that said "chocolate chip flavor." I didnt know chocolate chip was a flavor. I always thought CHOCOLATE was the flavor of chocolate chips. I went looking for some potato flavored potato chips, but got sidetracked looking at the raspberry flavored grape juice

5. Parsley is the red-headed stepchild of all the herb family. No one really cares about it, and it gets left out of most things. While more exciting, more attractive herbs like oregano, basil, mint, and thyme find themselves enmeshed in a plethora of culinary concoctions, you've got pathetic parsley just sitting on the side of the plate, away from all the action, just hanging out, waiting to be noticed. It tries to look as pretty as it can, but no one really gives a crap. A lot of times, its got a piece of orange or something sitting on its face. The best it can hope for is that it'll be chewed for 13 seconds while someone tries to mask their bad breath, caused by a cooler herb. But usually the person realizes just how awful the parsley tastes, and spits it out.

6. Who remembers Trapper Keepers? These things were awesome. These allowed parents everywhere to "distract" their son or daughter from the fact that they were going actually "back to school." It was great subliminal marketing; we didnt give a crap--we were getting a Trapper Keeper! What kind did you have? I opted for the more conservative one, with a photo of a tiger on it. There was one that read "Rock and Roll." That was a big seller. I think Kristie had little baby kittens playing next to a daisy patch or something like that. Did you accessorize yours? Did you get the octagonal sort of folders? The looseleaf paper? Did yours have the mesh pencil holder inside? Did your velcro wear out too? Why dont they make them any more? I got the "keep" part, but what the heck did they "trap?" For me, they "trapped" my grade, since I was always looking at and playing with my Trapper Keeper, and not paying attention to my teacher. Today, kids get iMacs and laptops when they go back to school. But we knew what was REALLY up. We were the Trapper Keeper kids . . . .