Tuesday, December 4, 2007

JARED'S TOP FIVE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVER (BESIDES AMANDA)

If you are married or in a serious relationship and don't think quote/unquote "famous" people are wicked attractive, then you are either lying or asexual. I love my wife more than anything, and I think she is the most beautiful person in the world. However, since the chances of meeting any of the following people is nonexistent, it is safe to make this list of the hottest women of all time. Feel free to chide at remarks, or write who YOUR top five are. There will be a male version of this in the coming days.

1. Rosemary Clooney: From "White Christmas." She had grace, elegance, and prestige in her beauty. A wonderful voice and a terrific actress. She lit up the screen as far as I am concerned. Its only too bad that, when she reached 50, she ate her former self three or four times.
2. Allison Krauss: Any girl who can sing to me automatically earns huge points. And she has one of those unique deals where her singing voice is completely different from her speaking voice. Either way, she could either sing or speak the yellow pages to me, and I'd listen like a good boy. Dreamy southern eyes and honest emotions in her songs. A definite top fiver.
3. Neve Campbell: Ever since I was a middle schooler, I've thought Neve Campbell had the most stunning looks as far as actresses go. I dont know what it is. She just looks like "the girl next door." She is, essentially, rather "basic" looking . . .nothing "stands out." I just think that, all around, she has it together. A great actress too. And a dancer.
4.Natascha McElhone: You are probably thinking: who the hell is she? Natascha had a small role in the film "The Truman Show" where she played Truman's "forbidden" love interest. I just think her eyes could cause global warming. I hope she doesnt live in Greenland, even.
5. Campbell Brown: I think news anchors are very attractive for some reason. Maybe its their formalness and professionalism that does it. . . .I dont know. Campbell Brown takes the cake. A terrific smile, tall, and smart. Great personality. NBC was stupid not to hire her for TODAY. Good luck, Campbell!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

where's nina totenberg?

Unknown said...

Wow. I like your thought-process. Regardless, I don't think any of these women crack my Top-1000, but that helps explain how there's someone for everyone in the world.

Speaking of newscasters, there should be a deleted scenes/outtakes type channel/dvd available for news shows with collections of what the hell they're saying while the show ends and the credits are rolling. There's always some small talk and laughter going on that I'm fixated on. Probably stupid inside joke/office type humor, but I want to hire lip readers nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

Cha Cha says a smart man would have said his "MOTHER " was also in the top list of 'BEAUTIFUL WOMEN"........

Maybe when i get older he will realize that............. tsk tsk.......

Anonymous said...

Don't you think your sister is beautiful too??? You used to want to marry me when we were younger.

Anonymous said...

Oh hello, I think you forgot somebody don't you?????

MET said...

1. Cheryl Crow
2. Cheryl Crow
3. Cheryl Crow
4. Cheryl Crow
5. Cheryl Crow

Anonymous said...

Remember in college when you wrote those love letter to Tina Yothers? I do.

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with any of your picks. Beyonce Heidi Klum Kristin favry Amanda Goldsmith and Betty Ford and Barbara Bush.

Belle said...

Jared I'm surprised you didn't mention Hillary Clinton being the Clinton fan that you are.

Oh yeh and you forgot to list cousin Michelle, Emma, your M.I.L., Grandmom, & Mel.

Anonymous said...

Top five?!?!

I agree with El Greco.

Tina Yothers beats at least three women on your list alone.

Where's Soleil Moon Frye?

Anonymous said...

Jared, I do like your thinking, just not sure I'd go for your picks. But hey, that's why they're YOURS. Me, I'm thinking . . .waitaminute, I can't say. Michelle has informed me I'm required to make my own list. . .I think this might be a trap. . .
Dude, I don't know how many people out there recognize Soleil Moon Frye any more, but whoever said that ROCKS. Punky Brewster helped shape the way I see the world, that poor little orphan girl.